It's Not You, It's Me.

I don't necessarily have to be in control of everything around me, but, when it comes to me or my body, I try to be in complete control.

I must be in control of my thoughts, emotions, actions, and decisions. I freak out if I cannot think properly because of medication. I can't stand when my emotions get the better of me and I lash out at those around me. I am very irritated when forced to do anything. And I resent it when I am only allowed one choice.

Because of this, I refuse to take drugs that mess with my mental functions, unless they are absolutely necessary. I bottle up my emotions in order to control them.

Yet ironically, I love rollercoaster and many other adrenaline-rush things that require lack of control.

maeven maeven
18-21, F
Jul 12, 2009