In Plain Sight

I live day to day. To work and back. Slumbering throughout the day. I have no voice or presence. I feel valueless. Sub human sometimes. I feel that I do not matter. People at work laugh with me, but I feel most times they are laughing at me. I seek to be part of the human race. Live life to the fullest. But my reality is that I am confined in prison self made. I do not feel valued by myself mostly and by others secondly. I know I have worth but I have eno way of letting it get out. Instead I am this ackward, uptight alien walking among the trees. I feel useless.

Browneyes474 Browneyes474
31-35, F
3 Responses Nov 9, 2009

please value yourself--your battle is already half-won, in that u know u have worth, i had forgotten i had any long ago. my battle with myself was won when i started liking me, valuing me--and leaving it to others to dislike me, or not, but i would never again, dislike me. it has meant the world to me, and it is of great comfort to me, as it can be for you.<br />
<br />
i also used to feel invisible to others--still often do, and hey? not a thing wrong with it, i have decided. i believe it is because i do not 'blend' and 'mingle' seamlessly, INVISIBLY, with others. you see, i believe you are like me in that way--WE are VISIBLE individuals, our own person, in a sea of the masses blending with each other, blend/blend/ blend. i have noticed if i make concentrated effort i can relate to my co-workers well, but i like being by myself, so i stay by myself more, it is my comfort zone. most people's comfort zone is being WITH others, and NOT by themselves---convenient for most people!! <br />
<br />
hope this helps, message me if u want.

Even with those comments from cpblue69, it is easier to say these things on the web because you are not there physically. However setting that aside, you have to wonder sometimes, are you feeling this way because they do not like the same interests as you or you just dont seem interested with that they like.<br />
<br />
I am kinda like that with my work, they like the social scene, the movie stars, the drama, the dirty little secrets, their kids, and so forth. I personally do not have an interest on any of those topic but at the same time because of it, I feel detached from the rest of the work force. With that feeling, I head home and again ponder to myself, what next. <br />
<br />
What causes the self impose prison is because were afraid of showing others our interests but at the same time enjoying other people's interests as well. It's a 2 way street, you cannot just be taking left and right. I am right now kicking myself in the ***, I just need to get into the stuff I am interested and join others with similar interests. I am a isolated person without many friends, as more friends tend to vanish before my eyes, it makes me wonder, are they disappearing or am I the one vanishing....

i can't see you but know you aren't invisible because your presence is very real here. We live in a society full of people who are so self absorbed they only see and feel themselves. No place for sensitive people who want to share. Just climb the ladder, obtain the material things, laugh at others to cover your own insecurities. No my dear, i assure are not invisible. I feel i can almost see you now!