Hearing Voices

I am currently living at my parents house, again. Anyway, I get out there and I feel that I hurt people unintentionally. These are the people that I love and care for. They pretend to truly care for me, but I feel like they TRULY hate me. Anyway, I am trying to go to sleep but the voices of very distinctive people will not allow me to rest. The conversations are SO detailed that I can make out every word. They are my closest friends. This particular time it is 2 of them and they are discussing how screwed up I am and they are quoting actual incidents. I mean they are ridiculing the hell out of me. These things they are saying are making me cry and want to blow my brains out.
epiphany26 epiphany26
26-30, F
2 Responses Dec 2, 2007

well said mahna

You are fighting with yourself....having a fight about what you should do and what you want to do and what everyone else wants you to do...Get out of your parents house asap... it's not good for you, it's just easy is all. You will be happier living poorly on your own, than living in your parents house... your parents may not approve of your living conditions, but it's not their life, it's yours. You might want to live better, but that is something you can work on once you are on your own.... get out there again and try to do it by yourself and believe in yourself. Don't count on a man to do it for you, don't count on your parents, don't count on drugs or alcohol to get your through it, just yourself and you will be proud of yourself, a lot happier, the voices and anxiety should cease, and stop giving a **** about what your so-called friends think. You'll have to stay very busy to keep the bad thoughts and the loneliness out.<br />
If you think these people are ridiculing you, then you are probably right... maybe they are, but if they are... I don't believe they are your friends. Stop worrying about what others think, and figure out what you want... I believe that is the hardest thing, is figuring out what YOU want... it has to be what "you" want and not what everyone else is expecting of you. Make that your goal, to just explore all of your possibilites, and figure out what you want and go for it, just take care of yourself and like yourself for now and the rest will come. Good luck.