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I Am 50 Years Old

Almost 50

By: rebekia2000
Written on January 1st, 2012
In 6 weeks I will be 50, which on one level doesn't make a big difference to me, but on a larger level makes me extremely self-conscious. It seems like everything I've ever started, I've never been able to complete. I've had two major jobs that started out full-time and I eventually worked down to part-time. Then I owned my own small business for several years. With help of the down-turn in the economy, and my own issues, I closed the doors on that, with a bunch of debt facing me. My first marriage ended in divorce (mostly because my ex found someone else more compatible). I am VERY happily married right now, but looking back on my past, I don't see any real success. And to me, success is not a monetary thing. I just don't feel that I've accomplished much at all in my first half-century (yikes!), and not knowing if I have a long second-half, I'm just trying to get a grip on life at the moment.
By: rebekia2000
Age: 46-50
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3 responses
  • MNWoman
    MNWoman

    You actually sound VERY Successful! I've never run my own business & my marriage ended. You have a lot ahead of you and are lucky enough to be happy in marriage. Hang in there! I was pushed out of the newspaper industry when advertising sales plummeted. It affected my health & my self worth. The good news is it also opened a door to a wonderful new career as a direct support staff for adults with disabilities. Keep trying; you'll be OK.

    Jun 19, 2012
    1 like
  • rebekia2000
    rebekia2000

    Good for you - I hope your new business goes well! If it's something you're passionate about, I'm sure you'll be very successful. Maybe that's my problem - I am not passionate about anything other than taking care of my home and grandchildren. I do have some outside interests, but nothing that I can really throw myself into to make it grow and flourish. Thank goodness my husband is so supportive and understanding (by the way, I'm his #3). Right now I'm going to take some time and do some self-reflection to see if I can come up with any answers. Not going to rush into anything, but I'm not going to pretend I have an endless amount of time to make a difference. Anyway, best of luck with the business, and keep us informed of your progress!

    Jan 2, 2012
    1 like
  • lightpainter
    lightpainter

    I'm 55 and I feel the same way. I'm just not letting the feelings of despair stop me this time. And I'm on my third marriage. I feel as if I've failed at just about everything and have had some real bad days. I think the fact that you ran a successful business for as long as you did is a real testament to your abilities. I'm trying to do that right now, start a photo/video business.... and trying not to have an endless stream of pity parties along the way.

    Jan 2, 2012
    1 like