I am going through so much, I am on the verge of being homeless and I am all alone trying the best I can to help myself. When my boyfriend found out I was pregnant he completely left me stranded(ignored me and wanted nothing to do with this baby he helped to create). I currently live with his mother where he also stays, he is physically and mentally abusive. He has put his hands on me and calls me ugly and fat, and tells me that he can get a better looking girl than me anyday. I haven't ever done anything to hurt him and he treats me like the scum on his shoe. I am constantly stressed and having suicidal thoughts almost everyday. I have nowhere to go and no family that can take me in so i have been reaching out to shelters but they have so many qualifications. I even tell them that my boyfriend has tried to strangle me multiple times and still no help. One wont take me in because my due date is too close. I have been praying and praying but I am losing faith and just want to give up this life. My mother kicked me out at age 17 and havent had a stable home since, i am age 20 now. She never loved me or wanted me and now dealing with a man that treats me the same, i just feel like maybe i would be better off dead. The only thing I have is my part time job of 2 yrs that I have to now quit because they wont give maternity leave. I work less than 20 hrs a week which gives me just enough to support myself, and because i work less than 20 hrs a week I cant get housing assistance. Its so hard and i dont want to give up my first child, i love her so much and i dont want to lose her but I am getting no help. The father has a job but stays out all night to get high and drunk, he pays no bills but i am forced to give up what little money i have to help with bills. I know that I am not family but I am carrying his mothers granddaughter but she says nothing to him. He gets his way and no one tells him when he is wrong, even when he puts his hands on me. I feel so alone and lost, and I am so tired...i am trying and trying and nothing is changing. I am scared that I'm going to have to give my little girl away, she is all i have and i dont want to lose her.
diamondjewelz31 diamondjewelz31
22-25, F
1 Response Aug 16, 2014

The fact that you are even considering giving her up for adoption under these circumstances, says how very much you love her. I too am fighting a constant depression being 8 months pregnant. Very different circumstances though. Have you ever thought to do something like a gofundme.com campaign, or a community post on indiegogo.com? Maybe reaching out to the world community at large and asking for help will get you, not money to waste, but enough to get out, maybe get a roommate, away from abuse???

There are places like
www.goodcounselhomes.org
www.thehotline.org
www.joyfulheartfoundation.org

they are all there to help abused and pregnant women get the help they need to get started on a track to a better life for themselves and their coming babies.

I have prayed for you & hope you find your way & get help and out of where you are at in life.

remember, even though it's hard (remember, I'm fighting it too - depression and stress are bad for baby while they are growing.) It's obvious you love your child - maybe talk to your baby doctor about being depressed and it'd be good to talk about the abuse too to get support and help there.