My Dance With Hr

so, i learned a hard lesson the past couple weeks. i was at work a few weeks ago and my supervisor said that he had been told to clean up his language. (he swears a lot). so i responded by saying that i thought we could all stand to work on cleaning up our language. i was naive enougn to think that we could all help eachother out and make things better as a group. He then made a statement saying, very vaguely, that he certainly had a lot of dirt on me. i am completely clueless as to what he meant. to my knowledge, i have done nothing wrong. i am a good worker. i show up. i do my job. i roll with it. when he said this to me, it felt like a threat.  he has never liked me. i have never liked him-- mainly b/c, without going into detail, i've found that he is a two-faced liar.

i had a witness when he made that statement, so i reported it to HR. instead of helping me, they turned it around on me and started trying to find things that were wrong with me. So he continues to bully me and there is nothing that i can do about it. it's frustrating b/c i just don't get it. i've never done anything to him. why is he such a jerk and why is he doing this? i hope that he gets his desserts at some point. i hope that i can find a new job in this economy-- one where they don't make you sign away your rights and then don't treat you fairly when you have a legitimate concern. i ask you, what is wrong with people?

as i'm writing this, i realize that i am a bitter b***** about my workplace, but in life, i'm still myart. i don't want this workplace poison to taint me... to change my optimism, my idealism-- my faith and hope of the nature of people. it's all so small anyway. eventually i will move on and this too will be merely a faded memory.

HeartofHearts HeartofHearts
11 Responses Sep 9, 2009

Here is the good news: This guy got transfered. Most people were not sad to see him go. For some reason he made it a point to say goodbye to everyone, including me, before he left. In his face, I read a bit of emotion-- sadness, maybe? It struck me that he clearly had no idea how many people he had hurt that he worked with or that we would remember how he had treated us; that we would hold a grudge. I can only hope that on his parting that he may have learned something-- that he may have learned how to treat people with respect. ...but the sad fact is, that some people just replay and replay their old demons their whole life, never learning-- never grabbing the opportunity to grow. Ultimately, he is the one that will suffer-- longer than anyone else he comes in contact with. It is this suffering that will cause him to entertain these demons as a mirage of a quick fix, when the true journey to self-growth is long and requires more patience and work than many people have the courage to face, including him.<br />
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4vrUnique, your advice is appreciated and I am thankful for your wisdom. Given that he is gone, I still think that I will look into your advice of moving on all the same. I have "What Color is Your Parachute" and have yet to read it... but maybe I'll pick it up again and give it a chance... and thanks for the advice about the resume. I'm pretty sure that I can get the resume book at the library. You have given me a lot to think about. <br />
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hugz,<br />

Been there. Done that. It sucks.<br />
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People like that are unhappy with themselves and don't realize it, so they dump their sh*t on you to make themselves feel better. Think about it, if someone has to make others feel bad in order to make themselves feel good, that says more about what a loser they are than the people they dump on. Most people with integrity will notice that. <br />
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There are jobs out there. You just need to know what direction to focus in on. Then you'll feel confident when you're at the next interview and they ask why you left this position. The best answer: 'I didn't agree with the negative office culture, I didn't feel like it was allowing me to perform at my best'. A seasoned professional would know exactly what you're talking about and feel you're an honest forthcoming person. <br />
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I read a couple excellent books about looking for jobs. 1) What is your parachute? This book helps you to search for the job effectively. 2) Resumes for Dummies. The past resume tips no longer are applicable and the rules and format has changed, just like everything in life, it's always changing. If you're up to date on who you are and what you have to offer your next employer, it just makes their job so much easier to hire you.

LOL yeah... he's always making random comment about people in the company... about how he's going to "bury them". ... he's a real piece of work. d*****b** <br />
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you are a sweetheart for being so supportive. i really appreciate it :)

wiseowl: :) yeah! down with the nutty bosses! amen.<br />
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hollyboo-- yes, that's not a bad idea... just look around a little... it can't hurt. i need to think on this a little. ...and i appreciate the offer to help me. that's very kind... hugz

For's wrong and you deserve MORE and BETTER. Everyone does. We don't go to work to be abused. Down with nutty bosses.

wiseowl-- thanks for the encouragement. :)<br />
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i definitely wanna be in a place that appreciates me and helps me be better professionally.

Its really tough leaving one job for another. I always found it very scary. Why not just browse through your local papers/internet just to see whats available. No pressure. Just have a look whats out there.<br />
Ignore him. Hes not even worth thinking about. Dont let him upset you either. *hugs*<br />
If you need any help just ask away and I'll do what i can. Not sure if i can be of any help but i'll try : )

he sucks and a creep on top of it. go where you are appreciated not bullied.

hollyboo- thanks for the comment and the encouragement :)<br />
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this guy is a serious peice of work. he seems to have no compassion. he is the type of person that takes pleasure in pointing out other's mistakes. it would be better if i could just get up the guts to find a new job. i get so scared and intimidated. (plus, i can't figure out what direction to go in. ) i already wrestle with a bit of social anxiety-- but i think that just having access to supportive people on this site has been helping a little. i am so grateful :)<br />
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i hope that i don't sound negative about the job search. i want to get serious about this but i don't know how to start exactly. i am going to see if there are other people on the site that are searching for a new job for some support.<br />
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meanwhile, i think that you are right about just getting down to business at work and focusing on the purely professional. <br />
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what a horrible man! Dont pay any attention to him. who knows why he doesnt like you! He obviously has issues himself. he probably sees that you're a good person and knows deep down that he is not. Just remember that not everyone will like you. (i struggle with that as im a people pleaser!!)<br />
As for work they should have been more professional. It makes me so angry when i hear stories like this. If i were you id get my head down and just concentrate on work. aslo if this negativity continued id look for a new job and tell them where to stick it!!! hehe<br />
Good luck with things! Dont let them grind you down!

thanks, sweetie. it felt good to vent.