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Maybe

Sometimes I wonder if I'm a bad friend. I don't seem to be a very nice person, at least, not all the time. I'm very blunt; I tell it like it is, and some people find that harsh. I don't see any point in sugarcoating things, I get straight to the point. Maybe that's a personality flaw.

I don't tell my best friend everything. But she doesn't really do that either, so I guess we're even. We've shared a lot of stuff in the past but now, I heard from some guy what she should have told me, and I'm keeping something else under my hat. It's just... Strange. We've never had any drama, so to speak, between us before. Maybe it's because we spent the summer away from each other. Maybe this is all in my head and when I get back to school tomorrow, everything will be like it was, and the floodgates will open and we'll start spilling everything.

Maybe. I hate that word.
squishedbanana squishedbanana 18-21, F 6 Responses Sep 3, 2007

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Straightforward or blunt? My sister is the straightforward and she is a fine friend as well as my big sister.. But the only thing you have to keep in check is that you at least understand where the other is coming from and how you say it. Being blunt to the point of being harsh can backfire and make a person seem like they're overreacting to something that doesn't concern them. Being blunt is okay when you want to say a person needs to fix something that has proven to be a problem to them. But if you are just stating how you feel just because, it doesn't necessarily mean you're right, it first means that you just have an opinion. It's frustrating to others because like how the other person said that it's and awesome trait---agreed, I appreciate sincerity, but when someone is downright just being judgmental there is potential difficulty trying to reason with them because they perceive that it's a good thing. Haha. Be blunt with yourself too and it won't fail.

example: "Seriously? You liked it? That movie was so stupid" or "No, wasn't my type of movie, didn't like it" the latter says the same but sounds more fair. There's a difference between straightforward and blunt

As someone who has 'been there' friendships grow, change and yes, even have mini-breaks from the intimacy. It sucks when you are feeling distant but if the friendship matters to you you suck it up and make the effort to try and repair it if it needs repairing. I'm in that place right now, I screwed up and now its up to me to try and fix the damage I have done.



I have a really hard time letting things go. And I am a very intensely private person. Those two things make it really hard for me to make close friends. And right now I've driven away the one person who has always put up with those traits in me. It sucks but I'm going to make an effort to patch things up. And while it will be disappointing if that doesn't work, at least I'll be able to move on knowing I tried. Hope your situation works out for you!

I don't think being blunt is a flaw...I thinks it's an awesome personality trait, as I am the same way...I have been told I have a strong personality...most people accept it...tho some do not and personally I don't care because because that is who I am. Maybe you are reading to much into your situation as I have a tendancy to do that...I hope things work out for you...Don't ever change your ways for anyone..you are who you are, be proud of that, that is what makes you, YOU!

I'm a pretty blunt person myself. I'll tell you what needs to be said when no one else can it don't matter if you like it or not it's just my advice you can listen or you can ignore it it doesn't make a difference to me. sometimes people need someone to get strait to the point. I don't have a best friend I have friends and I know I can't tell all of them certain things so when I have to get something off my chest I call which ever person I think will give me the best advice.

First off, sometimes being blunt is a good thing. Sometimes people really need to hear the truth to change for the better. If you're that person in someone's life, you could tell somebody something that could change their future drastically that couldn't have happened any other way, or from any other true friend.



besides friends aren't supposed to be perfect they are just supposed to be committed and as honest as they are able to be because if i build my trust in you as a friend on your lies and false truths im just building a house of cards that is waiting to fall at the drop of the next card, and personally i cant do that its unhealthy for me personally not to mention you as well,



maybe there are times in everyone's life when they need to be the example and the rolemodel of things whether it is taking tie fist step to rebuilding deep communicative relationships with old friends or charging into battle



like the mob effect in psychology if you start doing it more than likely they or others will follow and it's just having that one person step out first that causes all the other people to just open up and spill, because hey if you can spill your secrets then its ok for me to spill as well ya know?



i dont think your a bad friend to say the least and i dont even know you but we all have problems, issues, and things we cant help but what we can help is how we react to things that do happen to us and we can choose better directions to our reactions by our attitudes,



for example i heard it said one time that attitude affectsa your altitude bad attitudes like planes make you crash and bring down others around you

but good attitudes bring you up and others up as well kind of like the law of gravity bad things do happen and will continue to happen no matter whatr you do , say or htink, but it;s your choice to stay and walk on the ground or risk it all and fl;y, wh knows you just might make it to the airport you were headed to but if you never try then you never know and everyone misses out



so dont be afraid of starting the spilling war with your best friend try it out an tell me what you think, and your still an awesome friend to me, and i hope we can continue to stay connected



all in all

i hope everything works out and i wish you th ebest or reactions in life



love

your brother from another mother

Dylan

First off, sometimes being blunt is a good thing. Sometimes people really need to hear the truth to change for the better. If you're that person in someone's life, you could tell somebody something that could change their future drastically that couldn't have happened any other way, or from any other true friend.



besides friends aren't supposed to be perfect they are just supposed to be committed and as honest as they are able to be because if i build my trust in you as a friend on your lies and false truths im just building a house of cards that is waiting to fall at the drop of the next card, and personally i cant do that its unhealthy for me personally not to mention you as well,



maybe there are times in everyone's life when they need to be the example and the rolemodel of things whether it is taking tie fist step to rebuilding deep communicative relationships with old friends or charging into battle



like the mob effect in psychology if you start doing it more than likely they or others will follow and it's just having that one person step out first that causes all the other people to just open up and spill, because hey if you can spill your secrets then its ok for me to spill as well ya know?



i dont think your a bad friend to say the least and i dont even know you but we all have problems, issues, and things we cant help but what we can help is how we react to things that do happen to us and we can choose better directions to our reactions by our attitudes,



for example i heard it said one time that attitude affectsa your altitude bad attitudes like planes make you crash and bring down others around you

but good attitudes bring you up and others up as well kind of like the law of gravity bad things do happen and will continue to happen no matter whatr you do , say or htink, but it;s your choice to stay and walk on the ground or risk it all and fl;y, wh knows you just might make it to the airport you were headed to but if you never try then you never know and everyone misses out



so dont be afraid of starting the spilling war with your best friend try it out an tell me what you think, and your still an awesome friend to me, and i hope we can continue to stay connected



all in all

i hope everything works out and i wish you th ebest or reactions in life



love

your brother from another mother

Dylan