Not How I Expected It To End; My Story

If you guys are band geeks, or perhaps even know a true band kid, you'll understand how wholey it consumes a person. You become so wrapped up in the intensity of the band that it just takes over a piece of your soul in the most amazing way possible. I loved band, I still do but I have a different story than just the memorable nostalgic one I would have been writing if this past year wouldn't have happened....
I joined band in 6th grade, merely for an activity to do in my new school. I knew not a soul and I thought maybe it would be fun. Middle school band was fun, it was a taste of what life could consist of. I met amazing people and had a very fun time, though I wasn't the greatest musician, for we had a pretty crappy middle school band director. Oh well. I still fell in love with band.
I remember going to the first Christmas Parade in 7th grade and watching the high school band perform in their marching uniforms, with the hats and plumes and spats..... and i just; became utterly fascinated, determined too. I wanted to grow up to be one of those kids. You know?
So, anyway, I get to high school and it's amazing. Yeah, I loose most of my old friends but I gain real.... people who are more like me and the director is just amazing. You can see his drive and his love of the program. He pushed us all to "go big or go home" his pep talks and lectures and just, they way about him brought our program to life.
Every year of band in high school our program grew and grew, maybe not in numbers, but in spirit. By my senior year, I was first trumpet, band secretary, and just a fundamental part of our program; everyone was. Especially in my band, you'll know what I'm talking about especially if you come from a band of my size (only in the 20s....) and the thing was; everything was finally coming together. We made it to state, our music was beautiful, at competitions we could finally feel the energy. Every day we grew in anticipation as the state date neared; we could taste the superior in the air. I was so proud of everyone... Everyone was so proud of everyone... Our director was basically holding his breath as every morning approached sounded better than the last.....
I remember the morning like it was yesterday, it was one of our best practices yet. The pieces were moving and the energy was in the air. Only 2 weeks till competition and our tiny band was going to blow everyone away. :) We were the best family ever. Everything I had ever been working toward was about to be accomplished on every level.....
(*side note* The main thing our band director had been preaching since I had met him and sworn my dedication/wholefreakinglife to the band was this.... We come from a small town, never degrade your town. We must set an amazing example for everyone and make a good name for our tiny town. We must prove to the world that we are better than our reputation and that we can create something amazing..... We all stuck by his word, completely unprepared for the following)
That very afternoon I get a call from my art teacher telling me to sit down and listen to what she has to say. She tells me my band director has been arrested and to just keep calm, everyone's innocent until they are proven guilty. What? Huh? WHat!? By the time the sun set that night, the band kids had all phoned eachother, and me, and just fell apart. Our teacher was being accused of having sexual encounters with a "former band student", whatever that means.... No one believed it. We got together and cried and prayed and wondered what the hell and why someone would accuse him of such a thing. The next morning our asistant band director came in and forced us to play, it was dead. The air was brittle and the music was lifeless. We were on edge waiting for him to come back and everything to be saved. He would never degrade his own moral code of conduct! He would never sell us all out. He would never....
Oh but he did. By the next sunset he had confessed and, I believe, we all died a little that day. I know I did. Now, I'm not ignorant, nor bitter, it was just so unexpected and so unsettling and such horrible horrible timing. Of course it also brought everyone to the conclusion that you can't really know a person, which put us all in depression.
We went to state. We got an excellent. We lived. The band will live on without him, but that was the end of my experience with the band. I hate it. I'm so sad over that. It's like everything we worked for just got screwed over through no fault of our own. I don't hate the man. I don't regret the band or the admiration I had for him and his leadership, I just wish it wasn't what it ended up to be. I wanted the experience so many have. I wanted to come back and visit band and have it be what I had only with different kids and new music. I guess things just happen.
Thanks for reading. First time I've actually wrote all this down to vent. HoHum.

Anjellyca Anjellyca
18-21, F
Jul 10, 2012