The Result Of An Affair That Did Not End Either Relationship That My Mother Was In After My Birth.

I am the result of an affair my mother had with my father.



My mother was with her husband and had one child together.

 

My mother began an affair that lasted for approximately 4 years.

 

The affair started approximately 1 year before I was born.



My mother stayed with her husband and he believed that I was his child, after my birth. His name appears on my birth certificate and continues to be on it to this day. My mother also continued the affair throughout this time.



For a whole year from the date of my birth to the date that the affair was discovered, my mother continued the affair and her marriage as well.

When the affair was found out by her husband, he tried to leave and take my older sibling and me. Though was told very quickly that I was not his and the affair had been going on for a very long time.

He left with my older half-sibling, but very soon after my mother stole my older half-sibling back.

 

She stayed with my father and had another child with him. Soon after my younger siblings birth, our father was found to be having an affair with another woman. So my mother left him.

3 children and now single.

 

My older half-sibling spent every second weekend with her father(my Mothers first husband.)

My mother and her first husband decided that it would be best for all the children to believe that we were all his children.

So for the next 8 years I believed that my older half-siblings father was my father, until my mother finally told be the truth when I was 9-10.

 

I have never met my real father and I do not remember him, as I was 2 when he left.

 

I still call my older half-siblings father "Dad".

 

No one in our family talks about what happened. So all the information I have is what my mother told me when I was 10.

 

It saddens me that I would have brought so much pain to my "Dad" everytime he looked at me I would have been a reminder of my mothers infidelity.

But I do hope that I have made my "Dad" proud, even though I am not his blood.

 

As for my real father, he does not deserve to know how good I am, how wonderful I turned out to be. As he never tried to find me or contact me in the last 20 years!

 

Lalakeke Lalakeke
22-25, F
6 Responses Mar 14, 2010

Im going through the same I cant see how I can forgive my mom. She doesnt even know how mad I am im just waiting until they finally speak up my dad is suppose to be my god dad around my mom husband im very depressed I cant believe im a bastard and im only 16 ....

I was thrown upon my father after my birth by the family of my biological mother. My father was married and had a daughter already. My step mother who eventually brought me up like her real son, took me to my grandfather and threw me before him to show the misdeed of his eldest son, i.e., my father. My grandfather got a heart attack...... what followed thereafter was a living hell of manipulations, lies, deceit, betrayal and worst of the worst that any family can ever imagine of going through ever. I wish my father could JUST ONCE muster up enough courage to make his misdeed public. He would have certainly aged gracefully and peacefully rather than dying like a PIG at the mercy of his shameless rascal son-in-law and bitchy shameless daughter and wife, after giving everything of his life to them......

Wow, what a tough life. My story is a little bit different though... When my dad was young he got a woman pregnant. He felt responsibility for his actions so he married her. It wasn't for love though. He worked odd jobs at resteraunts and pizza places. Then he met my mom at one of these pizza places. They worked together, had fun together and laughed together. Soon they fell in love. Almost 13 years continuing the affair my mom got assaulted. She was traumatized so she visited a doctor. The doctor asked if she had any painful experiences those past few days. She said yes, she was assaulted... He did some tests and soon discovered that she was pregnent. I WAS BORN OUT OF A LOVE AFFAIR. I spent almost a decade without a father.... Now I'm back in town and my dad left his wife for my mom...

I found out my Auntie(a woman whom pasted for white) former boyfriend(a very dark black that was rich) was my at 44 year old and my Mother was dying of cancer. At 50 y.o have came to realize life is not always what it seems to be. See I was born in Washington, DC1961 to well educated dark skin black woman who married uneducated a very lighted skin black man in 1952 in North Carolina. I was left in the hospital because I was to black. But my Auntie boyfriend told her to go get me from Freeman's hospital and they would take care of me. By the time I was 10 years old my Auntie & her boyfriend separted. I was sent to my Mother and that hell so I run away at 11 year old. STOP PICKING YOURSELFS APART YOU DIDN'T MAKE ANY OF THOSE DECISIONS . There are MILLIONS of people just like us.

My grandmother told me this once: Anyone can be a father, all he has to do is donate *****. That doesn't make him a dad. <br />
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It's true. While your mom's husband isn't technically your father, he IS your dad, simply because he loved you and helped raise you... I'm gonna stop here, or else I'll cry...

@Lalakeke. I cried when I read your experience. I have put myself and my unborn child in the situation that you describe. I am a married woman that had an affair. I am now seven months pregnant with the other man's baby. I know what I did was wrong but it is not the formidible issue right now. I could have aborted my baby and none would be the wiser but not only am a completely against abortion but I view the child as a blessing. <br />
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My pregnancy has been compromised by uncertainty, I thought I had it sorta figured out until I read your words. I have been depressed and in and out of the hospital. It is not good for me or the baby. I told my husband about the affair early. He had a vasectomy and would have known regardless. He wants/wanted me to keep the biological father out of the picture and he wants to raise the child as his own. <br />
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I struggle with the rights of both my baby and her biological father to know each other but I have four children in my marriage. The first is my step-son who I raised since he was two-years-old and three children with my husband. I have been married for 18 years. <br />
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I decided to tell the other man about the pregnancy recently. Of course, my husband is furious about the decision but is still trying to work things out. I was overcome by the fact that my daughter may hate that I did not allow her to know her biological father when she got older. I, also, felt the the father had a right to know and not have this sprung on him twenty years from now. <br />
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My husband says that I put the rights of this child over those of our family. If the father decides to be a part of the baby's life, everyone would know what happened. It will devastate our family unit. The kids will have to be told of my indiscreation and may resent the baby. I don't think they will but I know this will complicate everything beyond compare. <br />
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The biological father does want to be a part of her life but what if I have made a mistake letting him know. I have not had a long relationship with this man and I am not sure if he will form a lasting bond with his soon-to-be daughter. What if he hangs around for only a short time, long enough to turn my family upside down and then disappears. It sounds like you would have been better off not knowing. I hope I have not set up a life of pain and doubt for my baby girl. . .and my other children. <br />
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As for your father being caused pain by you, I highly doubt he views you that way. You and your younger sibling are most likely looked at and loved as a reward for enduring a painful situation. I love my oldest son as much as I do the children that I birthed. I am sure your father feels the same way about you two.

HI, I was reading your story, and it sounds just what I was going through 2 years ago. I was wondering what happened with you and your family. I ended up telling the bio dad and it was a mistake :(. Hope your situation turned out better than mine. If you need an ear let me know! I'd love to talk to someone in my shoes.

I do believe that your 'Dad" loves you very much and is proud of you. The fact he and your mom deceided that it would be best for all the of you to think you were his speaks volumes of his character. I always admire that in a person...when they can put children first it shows that in the end the child means more than what ever else happened between the parties involved. I would imagine your dad did have some hard days but you meant more than that he endured it all to help raise you. In the beginning your Dad believed you to be his and he still does today. He could have left but he stayed. It seems as if your whole family respected your mother and dad's decision <br />
My boyfriend happens to be a result of an affair...his father was married and kept his marriage and his older son a secret from his mother until he was 3 years old. I think he only told her he was married after the fact he proposed to her. His fathers wife has never really accepted him. Now that we have a daughter together his father wants to be around her all the time...which is good but he was never there for his son so you know conflict comes into play because you can't expect to be out of someones life for 20 years and just resurface with hopes that everything is alright.