My Story :/

So I've been confused about my Sexuality since the age of 11 now. I didn't know what gay actually meant until i was nearly 13 I mean, I knew kind of what it meant, I knew it was when a guy liked another guy or a girl liked another girl, but didn't understand what love was and what a relationship was.

I'd never had a boyfriend before, I liked guys and found guys 'cute' or 'hot' and would gossip with my friends about who was the cutest and blah blah blah. But it was then then I started to notice that What I was feeling towards guys, i was also feeling towards some girls. I was confused and didn't really know what to feel anymore.

It wasn't until about a year ago, when I first turned 14 that is started to darn on me that I might be bisexual. In the last 6 months i'd changed schools and in my new school i'd made friends quickly with the best group. We're all such good friends, but the one girl I've got really close too, told me about a month ago that she was bisexual. Now I've never cared whether some one was gay, lesbian, bisexual, or whatever. So I told her, I was glad she'd told me, and that it wouldn't change the way I treated her.

About a week after this, I'd decided to tell her that I was bicurious. She was really surprised when I told her, and took her a few minuted to believe that I wasn't just joking around. So Then we become closer friends, as we both knew we could trust each other. (she'd only told like 6 people who were really close to her, not including her parents)

What she didn't know at this time was that I had been thinking about her a lot and wasn't sure on whether I was actually falling for her. A week ago, she said she needed to tell me something, and after half an hour I told her that if she felt it easier, she should send me a song to explain what she was trying to tell me, she was obviously nervous and confused.

So she sent me a song, which was basically about telling some one to be there little secret and that the person liked whoever the song was directed at. Instantly My heart was beating really fast, and I felt really nervous, after an hour of emailing each other we'd come to conclusion that we both kind of liked each other.

At the same time as this, we both were on the verge of going out with a guy. So now we both know that we kind of like each other, and we talk about how we feel, and I've talked to her a lot about how I'm not sure on whether i'm bisexual or just confused at my age. So we both have problems with guys at the moment, so we talk a lot about our feelings and gave each other advice, yet at the same time, we like each other a flirt a lot. Even at school, but people do not suspect anything, as it' just like we normally are, teasing and hugging, as close friends do.

Yesterday she told me that she was going to come out to her mum soon. I supported her in this, as I know her mum is understanding, and from what I know, probably already knows. But it's harder for me, seeing as we i'm still not sure if i'm bisexual or just confused at my age, being 15 this coming march, I might just be experimenting. Plus I don't have the best relationship with either of my parents who are separated and live more then an hour apart. I live with a family who do not look down upon bisexuals or gays/lesbians, but don't exactly like them. There is no one in my family who is bisexual and no one knows anyone who is bisexual. But if we're thinking about becoming a couple, then it will come out sometime.

Our close friends will know first, then it might spread, which may not be the best thing as I go to a school were there's about one guy who is gay, a person both me and her are very close to, but he get's bullied sometimes, as strong as he is, and very independent, he isn't ashamed at all, but sometimes you can tell it's hard for him. I know it will be hard as it is for anyone, people have to adjust, even though I am the same person, people's views may change.

It's not friends i'm worried about, it's family, they will not understand, so I cannot tell them until I move out, that's a better way to do things. But even with all this planning in case I am bisexual, I'm still confused if I am!!! I don't know what to do anymore, how do I actually find out if I'm bisexual? What if i'm not then II have to turn her down, but I will finally know. If I do, then I have to tell her, then we might get together when we're a little older. But I have to come out to everyone. Either way it's hard, and i'm just so confused, thank you for taking the time to hear me out. I just need to know that there are people like me out there :)

x anonymous
An Ep User An EP User
2 Responses Jan 11, 2013

Im bi too, my parents dont knw but my friends do, the support me and always hve my back, i dnt get bullied i get treated like everyone else, im here if u ever wanna talk :)

I am bisexual and I don't plan on telling my family until I am older so this is normal