More Hurt Than Good

everytime i get in a relationship or get anywhere near to getting into one, i get my hopes set way to high. I get attached way to fast and tell girls that i love them most the time before i am anywhere near close to getting to know them. i think it stems from my insecurity. ive gotten better about it a little but the situation i am currently in is a bad one. i had a crush on one of my friends friends since the day i met her. I just thought she was rele cute. I am 18 years old. this girl is 23. that first night we met we were all drinking (my friends and i and my crush) my friend told me she thought i was cute and nice. So long story short i hung out with her while she was babysitting her roomates kids and we made love while they where asleep. it kinda just happened. She has a boyfriend, we have had sex 3 times since then but she wont break up with him even tho she keeeps saying she will. Its been bout two weeks not sure maybe a little less and she hasnt broken up with him even tho shes always complaining about him. Ive been so nice to her and its like we are dating but we have to hide that we like eachother in front of certain people and its ******* me off. i also feel like im being used in the situation since she hasnt dumped her bf yet. not positive what i should do. i have a general idea but idk. she told me she loves me like 10 times one day but it made me think like is she acting. if she rele loved me i would be her boyfriend. she kinda has emotional issues to. i just feel really attached to her already and i wanna be with her but she wont make up her mind. its been just a day since ive talked to her and im going crazy thinking about it.
joshaa joshaa
18-21, M
May 23, 2012