My boyfriend has been telling me for years that he is the same, but I have yet to see it, and we have been on and off for the last 9 years. The last breakup was very bad because I completely ruined his trust by cheating on him, and he found out that I was on EP acting inappropriately. So I don't blame him now, that we are trying again, for having his guards up. But having him say "you wanna ****" is not the way to get me in the mood and I find myself back where we were before, him upset for not getting any, and me upset that he is upset, and upset that I didn't get what I needed either. Round and round we go. I crave hands on me, the occasional brush of my hair simple touches kisses just the way you should be around someone you are passionate about. I try dressing up and makeup and let's play photoshoot but can't even get that far because if I say I'm not in the mood he just rolls over and goes to bed, sometimes in the other room, so I lose out on us being in bed together which is comforting to me. I love him and am in love with him so I will keep trying but this was why I left last time. I don't want things to end up the same because we are a lot better than we were. Our communication is better and we are renovating a home. I just don't understand why its so hard for him to understand that I need to feel romanced and given affection before the act of sex, its just what I need.
OnAPaleHorse OnAPaleHorse
36-40, F
3 Responses Aug 30, 2014

Sounds very toxic... "In love" and "care about" can be said in the same breath, but can also mean two different things. If this had been going on and off for the entire NINE YEARS, I'd say to (unfortunately) move on. He's not getting what he wants and you're not getting what you want.

The for at least being honest

My honest opinion, don't have to follow it.

You aren't going to change him now: best resign to his behaviour or move on to pastures green!

How would like it if it was other way around the cheating?

That's what I am telling myself too, I committed the act that now he is responding too, we weren't together for over a year. I have to just be patient.