Desperate For Experiences From Other Birthmothers!

Hi I am a 20 year old student in the UK and im currently 19 weeks pregnant. I still have 5 weeks before abortion is not an option and me and the father are still discussing both adoption and abortion as options. He is very supportive of me even though we are not a couple and is mainly concerned with my mental well being following either procedure. He has said that he will support me what ever i decide so he is not pressuring me one way or the other, although he does fear how attached he may get if I opt for adoption. I am seeking information on other women's experiences of both routes as I am still undecided, There is no way me or the father are capable of caring for a child at this point in our lives as we are both in full time university education and have considerable debts due to tuition fees and student loans. But I am torn as to whether it will be easier on me to terminate the pregnancy or if i am being selfish just due to my fear that i will become attached and therefore either be unable to let my baby go or be so badly affected that my life and studies are drastically affected. If any one with advice or experience could please leave a comment i would much appreciate it!
Thank your for reading my worries xxx
13Sarah13 13Sarah13
3 Responses Jul 12, 2010

i cant say i am experinced but i understand what you are going through i recently had to make the same decsion. i came up with adoption since i had already had one abortion ( dont care judge me if you must let he who is with out sin cast the first stone!) i wasnt willing to go throught it again. so i found adopting parents who are amazing and if you find the right people to help you rasie your children it makes it easier. you will still get attached it will still hurt but you will know that you baby is where he or she need to be! that youare giving them every thing you wanted by doing this! i had twins in january and let someone else help me take care of then by rasing them for me! i dont know if this helps or is just unfinshed but with the right adopting parents if feels so right and it really makes you feel good to!

I hope you came to the decision that was right for you. Making YOUR mental health a factor in your decision was a wise move- I hope you're at peace and your studies go well.

Abortion is never the answer! That would be the most selfish thing that you could ever do. Think about it: Your baby is the only innocent party. Adoption - yes, you may hurt. But, it was your decision to have careless sex - not your baby. I hope that you make the right decision.