I Gave Up Emma Three And Half Months Ago

My baby is Emma Caroline. The adoption is extremely open which I am grateful for. The adoptive mom and I talk every week. She sends me monthly reports but we are more like sisters in a strange way. I have gotten to see Emma at least 10times in the past couple of months. The grief is difficult to bear--seeing her is a good and bad thing for me but I know way day it will all pay off for her.
I dated the biological dad for a little over a year or two and loved him very much. We were very in love but he chose drugs, parties, alcohol, and other women over me and my daughter. I wanted to give her a better life than that.
I ache and I'm angry.
chels321 chels321
18-21, F
3 Responses Jun 24, 2012

Thank you for posting this. I just recently placed by daughter in an open adoption, and by biggest fear is that I won't get the pictures and letters promised. I sign the paperwork tomorrow with my fiancé and sometimes I think I'm just not going to be able to go through with it, but I know she's better off with her adopted parents. Not that we couldn't have provided all the love she needed, but she'll have more opportunities and possibilities in her future with them that we hope to be able to provide to future children. I trust her adopted parents to keep their word, but it is still reassuring to hear of adoptive parents that do. Thank you again.

Well, I pray many of God's rich blessings over you and your fiancé. It's a ong journey sometimes. The first few months are difficult but my daughter is 11 months old now. She is and always will be my child just like your little one will be to you, and that's the beauty of being a birthmother. We will always have that. And we'll never forget the love we carry for our children. Stay strong, it becomes more bearable each day.

There's nothing in this world like it. Emma is eight and a half months old now and the pain has eased considerably. the few first months are dark ones. signing the paperwork is one of the worst parts, I completely understand. it's milestones that you will face over the next few months. certain moments you wish you were with her and still consider yourself her mother. allow yourself to cry but be productive. I got myself into college and it's kept me distracted and busy. I suggest you find something too. stay strong but know that you won't always be strong, and that's okay. you've done a selfless thing too, sweet girl. and you're daughter will always know that.

Today I had my consent hearing in court. I'm seventeen and have an open adoption as well. The parents and I text back and fourth about new things about the baby. She's two weeks old now. Today was the hardest day for me. Being in court and finally signing those papers was difficult.
What you did for your child is a wonderful, selfless thing. You gave your daughter and her parents (if you will) an amazing gift. You've made one of the hardest decisions any person will ever have to make and you're an amazing mother for that.