Life After Birth

Today is my 6 year olds birthday, but all I can think about is the baby I placed for adoption 12 1/2 years ago.  It was the right decision at the time and I stand by my choice.  But I find myself wondering at times if I left a piece of my soul with that tiny infant that rainy April day.  I can't ever seem to be fully present and loving the life I have now...loving the child I have now. 

littleredballoon littleredballoon
31-35, F
3 Responses Sep 6, 2009

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I sympathize with your every word. Its been 15 years since I gave my son up for adoption and I am a mom of two WONDERFUL children, age 11 and 9 since then. There is not a day that goes by, especially as I think of that boy, now a young man, going through his life not knowing me. I wish you peace and tranquility!

I wish I could offer words of experience, but I can't. I gave my son up nearly 10 years ago and I'm terrified of having another child because of just what you are experiencing.<br />
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All I can do is offer encouragement to you that there are others out here. My advice would be to poor all of your longing and wonder into amazement for the child you have. Relish the moments you do have, savor them.<br />
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Good luck.