Telling My Wife I'm Bisexual

  Where to start? I recently (1 month ago) told my wife that I'm bisexual, and that was
something that I couldn't admit to myself until I told her.
It was the hardest thing for me to tell anyone. I almost didn't do it because I
was scared she would leave me and since we have a child together, the blow would be
even harder and affect more than just us. It's something I discovered about myself
in my early teens and it has been extremely hard to cope with.
In my mid twenties now, with a child, it's 5 years into our relationship.
  At first she didn't take it very well, there were mixed emotions. She was ok with it
one minute, then the next she would break down and think I was not the same person.
I had a hard time explaining to her that I was still the same man she fell in love with.
She still felt somewhat betrayed by me, but I explained to her that I couldn't tell her
because I couldn't even admit it to myself let alone someone else, and she would have
probably left me if I told her at the start of our relationship.
I told her because I felt comfortable enough with her to say it. I knew she was the one
for me and that I could share that secret with her, a secret that was eating me alive.
  She thought I might be gay, but just in denial, but I told her that, that wasn't the case.
We watched videos together with men only and enjoyed them. We spoke about guys we liked
and I told her my "type" of guy and things were moving forward.
But she began to have ill feelings towards everything and brought up the issue of me
leaving her for a man again and said that maybe we should take a break.
I told her I was losing interest in it so that she wouldn't leave me.
I said whatever I could to hold on to her. A week later the conversations resurfaced.
I had to be honest and tell her that it's who I am and I can't change it, but that I
would never want to be with anyone else.
After long talks, she took it to heart and told me that she accepted who I was and loves
me for everything I am. She still had her doubts but I repeatedly told her that she was
the one for me and that she had nothing to worry about.
  Moving forward, we started being more experimental and I discovered that I liked taking
erotic photographs of myself. We did this together and she expressed that I didn't make
her more involved in it, I took it to heart and told her that I would be more aware of
her involvement. After we took more photos she asked me if I would put them online.
I told her I wasn't sure at first but after more talks we decided to post them up.
I thought the idea was wild and exciting at the time but things didn't go as planned.
She seemed fine with it all, until I posted the pictures of my body online, including
one photo with my face. It didn't sit well with her at all. When I saw how much it hurt
her, I took them offline before they were approved for viewing. But the damage was done,
she didn't think I would put them online, but I believed she was alright with it since
it was the impression she gave me. I felt terrible for it. I believed she was going to
enjoy it and was turned on by it but that wasn't the case.
  I apologized to her and she broke down. I couldn't feel worse. I also broke down and
told her that I was not going to hurt her again. After we talked it over,
we bonded, and we have been closer than ever. She is very supportive of my sexuality
and we ocasionally do things together like watch videos of guys, talk about certain
celebrities we like and other things man-related.
It makes me feel great to share these things with her that I enjoy and not have to
feel bad about them anymore. She makes me feel normal. The other day she asked if I
wanted to meet up with a guy and try something at least once. I told her that I was
sticking to my promise and that I wouldn't do that because it wouldn't be right.
I told her I wouldn't hurt her again and I am sticking to that. I have never had any
type of relations with a man before, so she's worried it's something I'm going to
want to try. I have told her before that I wouldn't do anything with another person
unless she was involved and wanted it for herself, and that will always stay that way.
She let me know today that if I ever did want to do something with another man, that
the option would be there and that she just wouldn't want to know about it.
  Nothing will ever happen that she won't know about but I appreciate her willingness
to compromise so much.
She is the only person around me that knows of my sexuality and that probably won't ever
change. But as long as she knows it and keeps on supporting me, I will never feel alone.
I love my wife, always and forever!

All comments are well appreciated, thanks.
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3 Responses Nov 28, 2012

My wife knew I enjoyed oral sex with men before she moved in with, and married, me. She is fine with it and "thinks it's kind of hot." God I love that woman!!!

Sound like you too have done a great job handling what has been a difficult situation for you both. My only advise would be to show her that you love her in a million little ways every day. That would probably help make her feel more secure and less threatened. Over time...who knows where it all might lead :D

I hope one day my husband can be honest with me like that