i am a bisexual married christian.  i have known that i am bisexual 4 as long as i can remember but always kept it a secret.  i am 40 years old so didnt grow up with ellen as a role model unfortunatley. my  family is well known in the small town i grew up in so always felt like i had to protect the family name so to speak.  did sum touchy feely stuff at a young age.  had first girlfriend summer of 8th grade, we  stayed off and on til college.  had my first experience with my soulmate at the age of 16 (anothe girl) and we have been on and off pretty much ever since until recently.  stopped talking 3 months or so ago, sad cuz she is a lifelong frind since i was 5 but we cnat seem to just b frinds.  i am married and she wants more of me.  she wants to have a fmaily with me and have us have a home together which i completely get.  problem is i already have a house and a family. i love her dearly but just feel like i have made my life choices already.  too much pain to destroy my family.  i have been with my husband since i was 18 so obviously their time periods overlap.  they both knew about the other one and both were fine with it until about 4 years ago.  now i am the one not ok with not having them both in my life.   i am a christian and feel like God loves me 4 who iam.  He made me after all but divorce i know he hates and i know how it tears families apart and changes peopple .  i love my husband but i definatley feel like there is a huge part of me that is missing out on who i truly am by not really expressing my bisexuality so i am searching 4 ways to do that while staying faithful 2 him and this jouranl entry is my first attemp to do that.  today is thanksgiving and traditionally this is a very tempting time of the year for me to be unfaithful and start cing my girlfriend again so say a little prayer 4 me if u will.  i came out to my entire family right b4 my girlfrien and i stopped talking 3 months or so ago.  well evryone xcept my dad's mom so they know now and i am glad i told them.  like i said she is a lifelong friend and my family considers her fmaily too.  my only regret i think is not telling them earlier but guess coming out happens when we are ready.  there's still something in me that feels like i will end up with my girlfriend eventually.  i have always felt that.  maybe after we are old and our husbands have gone.  (she's not married.  im just hoping she finds someone.  she is searching 4 someone to spend her life with and i truly hope she finds someone.  she deserves 2b happy)  guess it gives me hope tohang on to the idea that oneday we will end up together though even if we'll b in our 80s and i have faith that oneday i will get to c that dream bcum a reality in my life.  :-)
bimarriedchristian bimarriedchristian
8 Responses Nov 25, 2010

This is a sad story but at the same time gives me hope. I long to find a christian woman who will marry me as a bisexual and keep my secret from the rest of the world.
I would lie to Everyone but the person I intend to spend a life with

When your friend gets over you, she will probably find another woman, not a man.

I just wanted to say I am glad your that you posted your story . Didn't know women like that actually exist. I am have my walk with God all my life. I just wanted to say I love to be at peace and let a few women out there that I would love them for who they really are and wouldn't change a thing.

In response to zsu 234 Being Christian is about confessing our sins and learning to trust Jesus to help us over come our challenges. But I am also a liberal patriot.<br />
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I too am a bisexual Christian woman. I agree with ivo13 the idea that there should be only one person we share ourselves with is a Puritanical notion. Women have had bedfellows throughout the ages. I feel that as long as your husband approves and you are not endangering your marriage you can cuddle as you desire.

How do you be a Christian and revel in your sin at the same time? Active bisexual Christian? That's like saying you're a patriotic liberal, a total oxymoron.

Just a thought for you. What is in the bible is man and women in marriage as one. What is in the bible is the words that sex outside of marriage is a sin and is considered adultry. You have taken the vows of marriage and as a Christian, have you search out the direction of the Bible to look for yourself at what your vows mean for a Christain? Your marriage, family and reationship with your husband ba<x>sed on the vows should really be considered your priority, yes, your family knows you have had BI experences but, if you are a Christian, the words in the Bible should be your guide and as it was brought up, your marriage and the choice you made to be with your man, create a family and life with this man should be your priority. <br />
I wish you luck in your search and do hope you seek the guiding words of the Bible in your search and direction of how to move forward. It really is in Black and white and of coarse, in red.

thank you for your honesty. i needed to hear it and know that someone else can relate. i've been to counseling several times but it's different if they havent been where u r b4. :-)

first and foremost i can relate,i am to a bisexual married christian woman and my husband married me knowing this. But to be brutally honest with you,to take those vows,they have to mean something to you,either you really love this man or you are working hard to change or else you would have never got married knowing the way you feel and if she is someone that loves you and truly wants to see you happy,she will give your marriage a chance and back off until you come to's okay if she says she'll always be there....that's cool,but you have a familyand putting your family through this is not worth doing if you have wishy washy feelings.....if you feel somewhere down the road you will end up with her...well dammit give your marriage a chance and tell her to back up and let whatever is going to happen...happen!!!! one i have known can gain happiness from someone else's misery......If it's meant to be,then it will,until then,focus on what you have now,i pray for her happiness too but you have it now!!!,if he died tomorrow wouldn't you feel like crap?....cherish what you have now,that's what's important. .....happy thanksgiving and blessings to you n yours.