My Husband May Never Come To Terms With This

When I first met my husband it was love at first sight. I am bisexual and always have been. I actually had a gf when I met my husband.He has never liked it nor understood how I felt about my sexuality and I am the only woman he has ever been with. All we knew was that we were in love and he told me that he didn't want me to be involved with women on a sexual level.He's a very shy and un-social type of guy.I dumbly agreed and for a very short time was able to just be with him. Once those suppressed feelings started emerging again, I acted on them but on the DL.Once he found out he was VERY upset but told me as long as I never did it again he wanted to forget about it. Well we have kids and I love my husband. We have been together for 9 years now and I can't imagine life without him yet I can't imagine never having the intimate relationship with a female either. About 4 months ago I had a breakdown and told him how I was feeling, how this is a part of my whole self and that he needs to learn to accept it. Needless to say he tried a little. Then I met this woman whom I felt an immediate attraction to and we hit it off instantly. After a bit and my husbands approval, I spent the night with her only to return to a very disgruntled husband. Now she and I are "friends" ONLY as far as he knows and I really hate it. I just want him to understand that I can have a best girlfriend that I am also intimate with and he doesn't have to be jealous or worried. I have tried very hard over the years to get him to talk about my sexuality with me and help him understand that in my mind a man and a woman are so very different that there's really no comparison.For me it's entirely possible to be with both on very different levels. My best approach to this now is going to be to try and get him to empower himself with knoweldge through reading, support groups,or making some friends in our situation.Any other advice would be appreciated!  
IronGatePrincess IronGatePrincess
31-35, F
1 Response Jan 16, 2013

Hard one. Seems more a one way thing, for you? I don't want to judge you. But if my guess is right, it's more about communication, you choose not to listen to him perhaps? I could be way off. Hope all works out