Who Are You?

I am a member of a gay men's social naturist/nudist group that meets several times a month for fun and different activities, such as potlucks, games nights, etc. The majority of the members are white men. Before I proceed, I need to add that in the several years that I've been a part of this fellowship, at no time have I felt any intentional disrespect or prejudice from anyone in this circle.

As new men join this group, we "veteran" members usually make it a point to individually approach these "newbies" in order to make them feel welcome. Often, in doing this, the person that I'm talking to invariably asks, "How do you see yourself? Are you a black man first? Or, are you a nudist first?"

I silently wonder to myself, "Why are you asking me this?" For starters, in conversations with other guys in this organization, they, as white men, aren't usually questioned as to how they self-identify. So why am I so different?

When I asked the other brothas who are also members of this nude society, most have similar experiences. At first, this bothered me. Black gay nudist men have to "label" themselves in a certain order yet the white or the Latino men are exempt from this inquiry.

Or, are the white men so intimidated by a naked black man that they have to know how we perceive ourselves? Are we more of a race man (black) or are we more of a lifestyle man (nudist)?

Now, I'm just curious as to why this questioned is even asked. I've moved beyond the "bothered" mood I initially felt.

Why can't we all just be happy that we're men, no matter the race, naked and "hanging loose" together?

the kid from the barecave