I Love White Men Too!

I am black bbw who loves white men. I have dated other races of men, but white men have a sex appeal and attraction I cannot shake. I have tried for years to analyze my attraction to understand it, whether it was the skin color thing, or interests, or physical appreciation of white men. Then I realized its a combination of all things. I have more in common with white men.

However, I have not met a white man that I have been compatible enough with to be in a  long term relationship leading to marriage. I have dated different types of white men and realized that there are certain types of white men, that I like most. However, those I really liked have never dated a black woman, and I was their first. While we were very compatible and had lots of fun together, they were afraid to pursue something long term because they were afraid of what family and friends thought. They were worried about my family and friends and at the end, it did not work. It was/still is very hurtful and for a while there, I swore off white guys because I was concerned all white men have this fear, and I would not be a relationship with a guy that allowed what his family thought preclude him from what he wanted. There still is no happy ending with me yet finding someone, as I am still very single. But I live my life and do what makes me happy. I am resigned to this and accept that it may be possible I may not meet any white man of quality that is brave enough to engage in an interracial LTR, and if so, its their loss. I will be happy. But don't get me wrong, I still am very attracted to white men, but I am not pursuing in anything with a white guy, because I have lost faith that there is the right white guy for me.  I guess the only way I will get involved with a white guy is if he and I are very compatible, he is ready for an interracial relationship and has the courage to step out with a very attractive and successful African American woman and don't give a damn what his family and friends think. A white man with confidence, not arrogance, is very attractive to me.   

36-40, F
64 Responses Jul 12, 2009

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I love black women.and there curves. But never had a chance to date one. I have so much love too give.but only too a black goddess.

I love black women! Am so attracted to dark chocolate and just adore sexy black women!!

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Feel bad for you another victim of society's preconditioned prejudice and institutionalized racism it is at times unspoken and more times than not,not directly deal with but it is there as a white man he will never b stopped for simply driving and so he will never have things in common as black people go through on a daily basis Im not saying it can't work but you've got hurdles and great turbulent rivers to cross

Very true....just today I was wondering why my white guy just decided we can't build a relationship, after all the love care etc, he's a great guy, but I wonder wheat his fears are. I wished we could marry you know, its sad.

can we connect plz thanks jim

I am a white Australian male and African women to me are the prettiest sexiest hottest women physically to look at but I have never met one. There are a growing number of south Sudanese women in Sydney they are so exotic curvy big smiles and dark eyes. I am 48.

Well pip we can be friends, am a black girl...lets connect if you don't mind

Hey. I'm curious about what you meant when you said you have more in common with white men. Could you explain that?

Yo BB....
Great thoughts. Good luck in your search as I know there is a guy out therer you.
The Orginal White Man

Would like to chat & meet you

I love black women. And I would be more than happy to date you, etc.......just let me know how to get in touch? SidNTx@Yahoo

I also want to add that I did not care what my family or friends thought about me being married to a black woman. After all they were not married to her. I am going with a white woman but I still love BBBWs. If we break up I will not date a white woman again.

Well sadly most of us white guys are cowards when it comes to what our families think of us. Im lucky in that i was raised in a "every women is pink on the inside" environment by my parents. Its not about the skin color its all about the love and i hope you find your perfect white man one day.

Nobody's perfect, though some are more imperfect than others. Still, point well taken.

I am white male who was married to a Black BBW. I get tired of whites who don't like to see blacks and whites together and I do have some friends like that. A lot of whites would prefer whites to go with or marry any other race but blacks. My daughter in law said I could not see my grandkids as long as I was married to a black, and that is not why I'm not married to her. We had our differences and NOT because she was black.

I must be in the wrong time zone,lol

I want a black women. where are you..... hmmm

You will find him - keep looking. You might try a democratic party gathering. They are usually packed with guys that don't care what others think and will stand on their own.

Thank you so much for your positivity and optimism!

How long into the relationship do you find out they have this family/friends problem?

Well, it wasn't unitl a year or two later. Then he began to manifest some signs as we got into High school years later.

75% of white guys with think about their family and friends before marring a black woman no matter how much he loves her.....which is better odds than Asian guys.


Thank you for your story. It almost brought a tear to my eye. Reason being, I am a white guy and like you find people of different ethnicities, attractive. The different hair styles, the different textures of skin, their eyes, noses, the way their sexy bodies contrast my white skin, it drives me up the wall, sexually!
Don't worry, though. The right white man will come along. Also, keep looking. Look in the library, the mall, under chairs, under rocks, in caves. Just keep being you and you'll be doing alright!

I feel the same as you I'm very attracted to black women and have dated a few one I dated for a while but ultimately she stopped seeing me because her family looked down upon me because I was white. So I most definately understand where you're coming from

I've been attracted to white men but fear of exactly what happened to you is the reason I've yetyo cross over ?

That is unfortunate that you have been with some stinkers for white men, I am white and I could care less what the world or my family thinks of my relationship with my lady! She is a wonderful woman who makes me feel like I am a wonderful man, and for the first time I am truly in love. It has nothing to do with the color of her skin or the lack of color of mine ;) lol. I am confident and strong in my love for her and the" looks" people give from time to time is of no cocern to me or her, we both live in the south, she is a southern girl and I am a Yankee! Boy that really chaps some people's behinds let me tell you. Anyway, don't give up, I will say that it might just take you explaining up front to a white guy what you expect in the future and what you will not put up with, worked for me! I appreciate honesty and can handle a woman being blunt.

Trust me, he will come running into your arms soon enough. I have no happy ending yet, haven't even been in a proper relationship with a white man but I do know that he will come. There is someone out there for everyone.

Awww1 Thank you sooo much for that womderful comment! You are very kind! I am sure that your white price will come along as well. We ladies have to be confident in that!

my wife is black and i am white guy dont what ur family and freinds think just be happy

Do not worry/stress, nice lady. There are many nice white men out there who wish for the same commitment that you do. Not all of us are concerned what others would think regarding us dating a beautiful Ebony Lady. You are bound to cross paths with your own White Knight!

Thank you for your encouraging words! Well, other than yourself, where are the guys? They are hiding or either too shy to make a move!

Thank you for your encouraging words! Well, other than yourself, where are the guys? They are hiding or either too shy to make a move!

Maybe they are to shy, and it is up to you to make the first move. You are a confident woman. Approach them!

I love me some white guys! I'm drawn to them. Unapologetically, I am so dipped in white that I'm giddy. It just feels right and it is right for me. ****deep sigh**** That being said, that was not always easy for me to feel much less say and proclaim.<br />
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I had to grow to this resolve and just get cozy with the fact that I PREFER white men. On one side, black men can be DEEPLY unkind about bw/wm. On the other hand, some interracial daters will say "I didn't prefer one race over another. I just so happened that the one I clicked with was white (or other race). So, I allowed that to make uncomfortable with openly admitting my preference for white guys.<br />
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My overall best connections and experiences with emotional compatability, feeling pampering, feeling adored, great dates have happened with the white guys. I make a point to be that lady in the sheets and * clear throat* in thesheets. That is to say, I put in work, too. I yearn to give and look good doing it.<br />
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Here's a quick antidote!<br />
I have experimented with letting the black men that approach me know that I'm flattered, but I like white guys. Oh why do I go there?! Disclaimer: I don't really recommend it. Well, one black guy approached me on an interracial dating site. Did you catch that? He's dating other than black, but he connects with black me. Crazier still, I did accept his offer to try and resurrect any desire for black men. It was awful. The restaurant was let's say Hooter-ish. Wow, dude, is this your don't-give-up-on-black-men-date? I was DONE. Btw, I like Hooters. However, Hooters and the like are not first date material for grown people. First date dinners should involve service, linens, wine, mignon not booty shorts and wings. That was about 2 years ago. I never saw him again nor dated a Black man since.<br />
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I am happy to be free to be me in the open and say how I feel without concern about how another feels (including family and friends). I took that last one for the team. These days I am strictly checkin' for the white guys. Although, I must say that sucky date strengthened my resolve to follow my heart!

I completely understand where you are coming from in this post. I am an African- American woman and my boyfriend of two years is white. There is always going to be opposition no matter what, people are always going to find something negative to say no matter what race your significant other may be. People are going to talk whether you are doing bad or good. As long as you and your boyfriend are happy that is all that matters. When people look at me and my boyfriend funny because our skin colors are different , it gives us all the more reason to show each other even more affection and we feel proud because people are focusing all of their attention on us. This day in age, everyone is so mixed and people are dating outside of their race. Thats the beauty of evolution and change. If you focus on what your family thinks, what your friends think, what complete strangers think then you will never be happy and find true love. You love the person for who they are , not what color their skin is.

I am a white man who is very attracted to black women. I would love a relationship with a black woman as I dont care what anyone else thinks. But I feel like it is the woman who is also troubled by what friends and family think. I had a relationship with a black woman and when her family found out she was seeing a white guy they disapproved and she stopped seeing me

That is very sad!

I hope you find a guy like me some day!

Do not lose the faith. I am a black woman and like you, I found myself increasingly attracted to white men. I seemed to have more in common with them. When I would meet black guys, they would find my choice of music (alternative rock, 80s, etc) strange and ask me why I did not listen to a lot of rap. How I spoke would also throw them off. Many black men thought I was trying to be white but I have never tried to be anything but myself. I dated a few white men, only to find that they were too afraid of what their families and/or friends would think but finally I found my husband after dropping a friend off at his house one night. I had talked to him on the phone once before and once I saw him in person, I had to have him lol We started off slow at first, getting to know each other. I would hang around with him and this other friend. Eventually we got closer and we both got hooked on one another. He too confessed he was a little hesitant to jump into a relationship with a black girl but he did and we have been married for the last 2 and a half years. There are white men who do love getting down with the swirl lol. Enjoy yourself and be yourself. The right man will come across your path. :)

Thank you so much for writing this! It is very encouraging. Was your husband afraid of what his family and friends thought? If I may ask why was he so hesitant?

There are many men out there who can see past color. Do not give up, keep searching, that special man is out there waiting to be found. Good luck........

hi hun i would love to talk to you about this and believe me i love dark women. if you give me the opportunity i will explain. thank you.

hi woodsman. please talk to me about this.

ok heres what happened. when i was in grade school in kc.we used to have square dancing on fri at school. i got to dance with a black girl named tanya and all the kids were laughing at us. we were both very hurt by what they did and i have always been attracted to black women because i felt a connection through the pain tanya and i shared together. i hope you understand what i mean.

As a blackman I think that interracial dating or marriage for that matter is great.."the heart wants what the heart wants" right? But I do caution those that only date outside their race and who are lonely...please consider those sharing your own skin color. An open mind is just that. Open.

i want a white man and have been looking for a while but i cant find :-(

you are apretty girl why would you have trouble finding a man.

if only i could too!!

I havent had the a chance to date a white men, because being a plus size women in NYC most of these white men absolutely do not find me attractive so I dont get any dates with one. I dont know about the rest of you ladies, but anyone else find it extremely difficult to find a white men that is into plus size women?.I been looking high and low and not a soul over here !

I havent had the a chance to date a white men, because being a plus size women in NYC most of these white men absolutely do not find me attractive so I dont get any dates with one. I dont know about the rest of you ladies, but anyone else find it extremely difficult to find a white men that is into plus size women?.I been looking high and low and not a soul over here !

I havent had the a chance to date a white men, because being a plus size women in NYC most of these white men absolutely do not find me attractive so I dont get any dates with one. I dont know about the rest of you ladies, but anyone else find it extremely difficult to find a white men that is into plus size women?.I been looking high and low and not a soul over here !

I have not sworn them off, but I can't find a white man that likes bbw now. I wish you luck! dont give up.

I am not against racial relationships but there seems to be a problem with their offspring having difficulty with peer groups of the two races involved aka Cape coloureds to name a shunned group.

I think that when you find the right person in your life it wont matter what colour they are. I cartainly would not allow colour to be a bar on building a relationship with a woman if I thought she was right for me and if anyone close to me were silly enough to say anything against her then they'd know what type of response to expect. I hope you find Mr right for you regardless of his colour. Should he be white, then I hope he has the courage to follow his heart and give himself to you both body and soul. Good luck.

Very well put BBBWnNH, If both sides make the effort, and climb over our barriers and fears, "what a wonderful world this would be." The benefits are out there for us. I have fallen in love with some black women that have rocked my world, and brought me much joy.

i am also quite attracted to white men too, but i am very shy so no one really knows that :p

TO ladyminimah7...Just read your comment. Dont be discouraged my beautiful sista. Your white prince is coming. I think more white men are being more open to approaching black women now, but we also have to be more open about our attraction to them. men are not mind readers. Making your atrraction known to a guy you like is totally fine and I am sure they will receive it gladly.

i fund rcjames comment to be derogatory and insulting as well. i'm not jumping through thos hoops for any man no matter what color he is. either take me as i am or **** off is my attitude. in my experience it turns out that vanilla is no sweeter than chocolate after all.

I am an Asian (Pakistani origin) and I find black women very attractive.

i'm white man who like black women ,,i look for a black women as attractive

this comment is directed to rcjames146...you i ma very surprised and disppointed in your response to my story. while it appears you were tryignt o be helpful, you were very insulting. first of all most black women are bbws. there is nothigb wrong with a bbw and i have actually had success white non white men who absolutely love a black bbw. to be a bbw is not about being some supremely overweight and out of shape woman. its men like you who are insecure enough to be with a woman who is NOT black. just so know, brazilian women are NOT black women. not even close. you are just like the actor matthew mcconaghey. he LOVES black women, but he knew he could not be accepted if he married a black woman, so he got a brazilian woman who had darker/exotic looking features. whats also sad about your way of thinking is that it represents the way a white man thinks that it confirms a level of insecurity in being with a real woman. you would sacrifice being with a good woman because the woman is a bbw and not the 'shape' you like and because it puts you at a higher notch with other men, rather than being with woman because of who she is. i am proud and intellkigent bbw, and have two degrees. i am definitely NOT dumb. and my shape is fabulous as a bbw. working out 3 times a week? ok, what about white men who dont keep themselves in shape? not all white men look like brad pitt. i think white men fail in that a lot. again going back to my story where white men are influenced by other whites. white women are now making it more acceptable for bi-racial people to be more accepted because they are having the black children at faster rates than black women. whites are still more accepting of a bi-racial person than a true black person. you really need to be mindful when commenting on posts such as this.

Well arsieJames has given out "his" opinion on black girls who like white guys. You should be thanking him for pre warning you. As you have no images posted to suggest you’re the shape he suggested then it has to be all in his mind. And so what if you are. It's the person within that's all important. He does not speak for all men, white or otherwise, and shouldn’t presume to do so. If he cannot see beyond the flesh then it's likely due to having very little depth himself. He even attempted to suggest what an educated white man was like. How would he possibly know without being told? The world is full of people who have a personality of diminutive stature and who I fear would drown in a puddle. It is important to get beyond the physical appearance of an individual and see the person within. Then and only then will you be truly happy in your life partner regardless of their colour.

Thanking him????????
You have got to be kidding, I only interact with down to earth White gents who do not require a Black woman literally modify herself in order to be in with a chance, you are your buddy have a CHEEK!.

Hey I am a white guy and married a dark skin Brazilian that looks at least half black. Have always been attracted to black women that are healthy and in shape. Their figures are extremely beautiful, but only when they take care of themselves. When they are healthy in other words. You do not need to be fat to be called BBW. Unless their is a genetic issue running in your family obesity is a choice people make. Serena and Venus are prime examples of bigger beautiful women that are not fat.<br />
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Now if you consider yourself a BBW and you are black plus you want a white guy I will give you some tips.<br />
1) Work out at least three times a week and eat healthy to loose excess fat. Many white men do not like fat girls, however curvy girls give me a funny feeling inside.<br />
2) Do not use Ebonics when you talk with educated white men. Unless they are wannabe M&M's. We need to be able to relate to you in some way and have some things in common. Not all white men like hip hop. Try listening to rock either classic or alternative every once in awhile if you do not do so already.<br />
3) Try to have a mix of white and black friends. Your newly found white man might feel intimidated or out of place if all your friends are black. <br />
4) Flirt with him and act like a dumb blond around him at first. Lure him in by making him think you are easy to get into the sack. A lot of the time educated white men are too polite at first. It is the way their mammas taught them to be. Daddy would woop their *** for saying anything impolite at the dinner table as well. That strong black woman overtone will not take the relationship anywhere; especially if he is too polite at first. That attitude will act as a barrier between his thingy and your thang. <br />
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Wish you all the luck. It is really beautiful to see a white guy with a black girl sitting or holding hands while walking together. Most people stare because it is pleasantly unusual. White guys will stare because most of us think black women think we are ugly and have little winky's. Its not true by the way. I was in boot camp and their were some freaks of nature on both sides of the coin.

Sorry, but your "tips" are bordering on offensive!

We are to act like a "dumb blonde".
Change music we may like in order to fit in toy "your world".
Do not use "ebonics"?????may an American thing!
Try to have a mi of both White and Black friends, does this rule also apply to White folks who may be interested in dating Black, or is it that Black should be the one to change?
The, exercise 3 times a week....would you suggest this too an over weight non Black woman I wonder!
And most importantly, "tame your strong black woman" persona.....um...WHY?
It seems like you have decided on several rules that may rule a Black female "enough" to breath the same air as a White man, nothing in your words about us already being enough.
The strong black woman thing you speak of is interesting, I do not much like this phrase, I think it only serves to de-feminize Black females, as it implies we are so strong, we do not need the warmth, touch of a man,but on the other hand, due to historical reasons Black females have HAD to be both mother and farther....
I am sure your words are not intended to offend, but there is something disturbingly judgmental and dare I say arrogant about the tone of your words.
Um, why must a Black girl quickly run out and try and make pals with White folk if she is to attract a White man, if a White man wants a Black girl, he does NOT run out looking to make pals with Black people, the thought would not cross his mind.
I really do mean to sound so alarmed by your words, but I am.

I love BBW black women... so if you're interested with some online flirting with a white college guy you should hit me up...

Yes BUT ARE you willing to meet with a black woman, on line fun is not real life interaction.

I, too wonder where my 'white knight'. He doesn't have to be Prince Charming, Brad Pitt or Johnny Depp but just be into me for who I am, not who he wants me to be. I am an intellegent woman, who works hard, attends school and writes literature. I have no children and I have never been married... also STD free. I know there is someone out there for me. Why do I prefer dating white men? I do not know why. The first guy I ever cared for was white and we were in 4th grade. Oh my! We were so young. I have dated men of other races yet I have dated white men more and it is my preference. I wish the world could see past 'these color lines'. There really are no lines.

I’m glad I grew-up in a melting-pot community, mostly Greeks. <br />
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I worship blue and green eyes and dedicated a story titled “Juicy Mannish” in I Am a Black Women Who Likes White Man....Viva us Yin & Yang’s

I have never dated any race exclusively but admit to dating more white men then black men. My personal preference looks wise are latinos but they don't seem to find me particularly attractive.<br />
I would also date some asians in that I find them attractive and also Indians and people from the middle east. I guess I should add that I am of multicultural descent myself although I identify as african american. I agree that family is usually the big hurdle. You should try dating people of other nationalities. If they are bold enough to move to the United States they are already more open minded then the general run especially if their family is back in the old country. <br />
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Heres one practical point to dating white men.... they are definately warmer in the winter time to sleep with:) <br />
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A lot of the cultural divide is more of a class thing then a race thing. The one possible exception is in the area of music if you are over 30 years old. My ex bf who grew up in PA told me after going back home to attend a wedding said that he was big hit on the dance floor with the women because he could actually dance. But he said he realized that the reason white men never really learned to dance was because of the music they listened to. If you live in an area where hard Rock or Country is strong you may have a problem in the music department. Of course lots of black people listen to country music(nod to Charlie Pride and Darius Rucker) but not so much hard rock (Tina Turner not withstanding).

I used to look at skin color when I was growing up from the late teens to early 20's. I was plain out of ignorance. Now I am 37 years of age, I attract more black females left and right. More than I can handle, giggles. Now I see women, black, mexican, mixed, white, oriental and all as a human being. Needing cuddling, loving, and more of all... affection. I do not know what it is about me attracting all kinds of ladies 20's-40's. <br />
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I guess its my personality that shines from within. I treat people like I want to be treated. I thank God for his blessings upon me to be shared with others. <br />
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This is addressed to BBBWnNh <br />
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Please do not settle for anything less than what you can afford. I am a BHM myself. I attract alot of females left and right. I try to shake them off. It never works. I even tell them I am taken, They do not buy it. what I can say to you is concentrate on yourself. go to the place where white men gather, be yourself. You will get someone who will appreciate you. I currently have a white girlfriend. I used to go to school with a classmate that is a black woman. Her magnetism and my magnetism is strong. Born on the same month, Same year, and have the same taste. You do not find that often in todays society. Just hang tight. Someone will pick you up and hold you as a gold nugget. Have patience. <br />
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Best regards, <br />
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I agree with CleanMe, he makes sense , I might add that you first experiement in living together for a few months before committing to marriage. See how it works out . In big cities black woman and white man couples are many so you may have to see where you choose to find that love of your life. In midwestern states it might be kinda hard to make it work but then again it depends.

Why is it that people and I mean people because thats who we are, we breath the same air, our hearts beat from the same side of the chest, we have hopes and dreams, we laugh and cry, so isn't it so hard for anyone to accept that if you are in love thats what matters. <br />
I know of this couple that are very happy together and they love each other very much. Thats what matters. If anyone else has a problem with that then maybe they need to take a hard long look at why they are so racist in the first place because it boils down to that

Just to say hello. And i still hold an interest in my mind and body.xxx.

Hello, I am dating a brother from another mother and this one happens to be white. I am AA and I have dated out side of my race before. In fact my son is multi-ethnic. The guy that I am dating right now is very sweet. He has a wonderful personality and he is very caring. He is not the richest guy in the world but he is the most caring guy that I have ever met. He is very supportive of my career plans. I am a teacher, recently completed my masters degree and plan to continue teaching (public school) and then teach part time @ one of the local colleges. When it comes to me he has a can do attitude.<br />
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He loves everything about me and I love that he loves everything about me. We click so well, he has a wonderful sense of humor and he makes me laugh all of the time (we make each other laugh.) He tells me that he has never met anyone like me before. We listen to the same types of music (classic 70's 80's rock, country music, some rap, 70's, 80's, 90's R & B. Just this past weekend we went to shoot pool and the establishment had a live band "Candy and the Strangers" they sung/played 70's and 80's rock music, well I knew almost every song they sang (I was singing along too.) People were looking as if they had never seen an interracial couple before. He asked me if I was comfortable with people looking @ us- I told him that It didn't bother me that people looked-as long as we were by each others side that we would be just fine. That was a wonderful night. I felt so honored to be with him. I felt like I had never felt before. I felt sensual, romantic and I felt wanted and needed. I felt cherished and desired. I wish he could see the way that he loves me.<br />
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He is still amazed that I sing Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody, Braid Paisley's "Alcohol" to Al Green's "Let's Stay together". He told me that he felt like he had hit the jack pot when he met me-told me that he was going to show me off and he made it clear that I was not an ob<x>ject to him that I am a real person-that I am his lady and he was very, very happy with me. Being with him gives me the most awesome feeling.<br />
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Remember that we are all human, no one race is better than another and no one person is better than another, our minds, bodies and hearts all function the same way –the human way. No matter how you slice love is love. I feel so incredible when I am with him and although I miss to the hilt him when we are not together, I still feel incredible when we are apart.<br />
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I f you have been thinking about dating a white guy go for it. Just make sure that it is for all the reasons that you both want to date each other. My guy and I had long talks about what we both envision in our next relationship. It was a pleasant surprised that we both wanted the same things. He really is the best guy ever!<br />
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Eastern, NC Female

would love to go down on a black women!!!

i like your way of thinking and i hope that there are more men that feel the same way. i KNOW there are. and your kids are lucky to have such a wise father :)

:) you're welcome. there's wisdom in your words.

I am just wondering how you even met a man, I am a BBW and I can't meet anyone, once they find out im a bbw they run for the hills. I am also older then you, and that makes it even harder to be accepted.

Dont believe this, if you want to meet a white guy that wont run for the hills, my email is renshinkia@gmail.com

I know a number of WM/BF couples and most report little trouble in society or with their families. It seems that BM/WF couples face a lot more opposition. Interestingly, it is often WM and BF that most often ob<x>ject to the BM/WF relationships!<br />
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I have dated BF but it is often a challenge to bridge the cultural gap. In the U.S., the races don't even speak the same language or use the same slang.

Maybe someone will be able to see past skin color and see their true compatibility with you, or maybe youll see the same things in someone you never expected to be attracted to, either way good luck...

are you interested in a white man to talk with?

Great guy! rainbowsandsunsets@gmail.com

Hi, not all white men are afriad. I am a white guy and am attrackted to black women. I know it is different in the UK but I have to say, I dont find it a problem. Love black women, love their passion their assertiveness and all that comes with it.