Experience Project iOS Android Apps | Download EP for your Mobile Device

I Love White Men Too!

I am black bbw who loves white men. I have dated other races of men, but white men have a sex appeal and attraction I cannot shake. I have tried for years to analyze my attraction to understand it, whether it was the skin color thing, or interests, or physical appreciation of white men. Then I realized its a combination of all things. I have more in common with white men.

However, I have not met a white man that I have been compatible enough with to be in a  long term relationship leading to marriage. I have dated different types of white men and realized that there are certain types of white men, that I like most. However, those I really liked have never dated a black woman, and I was their first. While we were very compatible and had lots of fun together, they were afraid to pursue something long term because they were afraid of what family and friends thought. They were worried about my family and friends and at the end, it did not work. It was/still is very hurtful and for a while there, I swore off white guys because I was concerned all white men have this fear, and I would not be a relationship with a guy that allowed what his family thought preclude him from what he wanted. There still is no happy ending with me yet finding someone, as I am still very single. But I live my life and do what makes me happy. I am resigned to this and accept that it may be possible I may not meet any white man of quality that is brave enough to engage in an interracial LTR, and if so, its their loss. I will be happy. But don't get me wrong, I still am very attracted to white men, but I am not pursuing in anything with a white guy, because I have lost faith that there is the right white guy for me.  I guess the only way I will get involved with a white guy is if he and I are very compatible, he is ready for an interracial relationship and has the courage to step out with a very attractive and successful African American woman and don't give a damn what his family and friends think. A white man with confidence, not arrogance, is very attractive to me.   

BBBWnVA BBBWnVA 36-40, F 68 Responses Jul 12, 2009

Your Response


Add a response...

I love black women.and there curves. But never had a chance to date one. I have so much love too give.but only too a black goddess.

I love black women! Am so attracted to dark chocolate and just adore sexy black women!!

Add a response...

Feel bad for you another victim of society's preconditioned prejudice and institutionalized racism it is at times unspoken and more times than not,not directly deal with but it is there as a white man he will never b stopped for simply driving and so he will never have things in common as black people go through on a daily basis Im not saying it can't work but you've got hurdles and great turbulent rivers to cross

Very true....just today I was wondering why my white guy just decided we can't build a relationship, after all the love care etc, he's a great guy, but I wonder wheat his fears are. I wished we could marry you know, its sad.

can we connect plz thanks jim

I am a white Australian male and African women to me are the prettiest sexiest hottest women physically to look at but I have never met one. There are a growing number of south Sudanese women in Sydney they are so exotic curvy big smiles and dark eyes. I am 48.

Well pip we can be friends, am a black girl...lets connect if you don't mind

Hey. I'm curious about what you meant when you said you have more in common with white men. Could you explain that?

Yo BB....
Great thoughts. Good luck in your search as I know there is a guy out therer you.
The Orginal White Man

Would like to chat & meet you

I love black women. And I would be more than happy to date you, etc.......just let me know how to get in touch? SidNTx@Yahoo

I also want to add that I did not care what my family or friends thought about me being married to a black woman. After all they were not married to her. I am going with a white woman but I still love BBBWs. If we break up I will not date a white woman again.

Well sadly most of us white guys are cowards when it comes to what our families think of us. Im lucky in that i was raised in a "every women is pink on the inside" environment by my parents. Its not about the skin color its all about the love and i hope you find your perfect white man one day.

Nobody's perfect, though some are more imperfect than others. Still, point well taken.

I am white male who was married to a Black BBW. I get tired of whites who don't like to see blacks and whites together and I do have some friends like that. A lot of whites would prefer whites to go with or marry any other race but blacks. My daughter in law said I could not see my grandkids as long as I was married to a black, and that is not why I'm not married to her. We had our differences and NOT because she was black.

I must be in the wrong time zone,lol

I want a black women. where are you..... hmmm

You will find him - keep looking. You might try a democratic party gathering. They are usually packed with guys that don't care what others think and will stand on their own.

Thank you so much for your positivity and optimism!

How long into the relationship do you find out they have this family/friends problem?

Well, it wasn't unitl a year or two later. Then he began to manifest some signs as we got into High school years later.

75% of white guys with think about their family and friends before marring a black woman no matter how much he loves her.....which is better odds than Asian guys.


Thank you for your story. It almost brought a tear to my eye. Reason being, I am a white guy and like you find people of different ethnicities, attractive. The different hair styles, the different textures of skin, their eyes, noses, the way their sexy bodies contrast my white skin, it drives me up the wall, sexually!
Don't worry, though. The right white man will come along. Also, keep looking. Look in the library, the mall, under chairs, under rocks, in caves. Just keep being you and you'll be doing alright!

I feel the same as you I'm very attracted to black women and have dated a few one I dated for a while but ultimately she stopped seeing me because her family looked down upon me because I was white. So I most definately understand where you're coming from

I've been attracted to white men but fear of exactly what happened to you is the reason I've yetyo cross over ?

That is unfortunate that you have been with some stinkers for white men, I am white and I could care less what the world or my family thinks of my relationship with my lady! She is a wonderful woman who makes me feel like I am a wonderful man, and for the first time I am truly in love. It has nothing to do with the color of her skin or the lack of color of mine ;) lol. I am confident and strong in my love for her and the" looks" people give from time to time is of no cocern to me or her, we both live in the south, she is a southern girl and I am a Yankee! Boy that really chaps some people's behinds let me tell you. Anyway, don't give up, I will say that it might just take you explaining up front to a white guy what you expect in the future and what you will not put up with, worked for me! I appreciate honesty and can handle a woman being blunt.

Trust me, he will come running into your arms soon enough. I have no happy ending yet, haven't even been in a proper relationship with a white man but I do know that he will come. There is someone out there for everyone.

Awww1 Thank you sooo much for that womderful comment! You are very kind! I am sure that your white price will come along as well. We ladies have to be confident in that!

my wife is black and i am white guy dont what ur family and freinds think just be happy

Do not worry/stress, nice lady. There are many nice white men out there who wish for the same commitment that you do. Not all of us are concerned what others would think regarding us dating a beautiful Ebony Lady. You are bound to cross paths with your own White Knight!

Thank you for your encouraging words! Well, other than yourself, where are the guys? They are hiding or either too shy to make a move!

Thank you for your encouraging words! Well, other than yourself, where are the guys? They are hiding or either too shy to make a move!

Maybe they are to shy, and it is up to you to make the first move. You are a confident woman. Approach them!

I love me some white guys! I'm drawn to them. Unapologetically, I am so dipped in white that I'm giddy. It just feels right and it is right for me. ****deep sigh**** That being said, that was not always easy for me to feel much less say and proclaim.<br />
<br />
I had to grow to this resolve and just get cozy with the fact that I PREFER white men. On one side, black men can be DEEPLY unkind about bw/wm. On the other hand, some interracial daters will say "I didn't prefer one race over another. I just so happened that the one I clicked with was white (or other race). So, I allowed that to make uncomfortable with openly admitting my preference for white guys.<br />
<br />
My overall best connections and experiences with emotional compatability, feeling pampering, feeling adored, great dates have happened with the white guys. I make a point to be that lady in the sheets and * clear throat* in thesheets. That is to say, I put in work, too. I yearn to give and look good doing it.<br />
<br />
Here's a quick antidote!<br />
I have experimented with letting the black men that approach me know that I'm flattered, but I like white guys. Oh why do I go there?! Disclaimer: I don't really recommend it. Well, one black guy approached me on an interracial dating site. Did you catch that? He's dating other than black, but he connects with black me. Crazier still, I did accept his offer to try and resurrect any desire for black men. It was awful. The restaurant was let's say Hooter-ish. Wow, dude, is this your don't-give-up-on-black-men-date? I was DONE. Btw, I like Hooters. However, Hooters and the like are not first date material for grown people. First date dinners should involve service, linens, wine, mignon not booty shorts and wings. That was about 2 years ago. I never saw him again nor dated a Black man since.<br />
<br />
I am happy to be free to be me in the open and say how I feel without concern about how another feels (including family and friends). I took that last one for the team. These days I am strictly checkin' for the white guys. Although, I must say that sucky date strengthened my resolve to follow my heart!

I completely understand where you are coming from in this post. I am an African- American woman and my boyfriend of two years is white. There is always going to be opposition no matter what, people are always going to find something negative to say no matter what race your significant other may be. People are going to talk whether you are doing bad or good. As long as you and your boyfriend are happy that is all that matters. When people look at me and my boyfriend funny because our skin colors are different , it gives us all the more reason to show each other even more affection and we feel proud because people are focusing all of their attention on us. This day in age, everyone is so mixed and people are dating outside of their race. Thats the beauty of evolution and change. If you focus on what your family thinks, what your friends think, what complete strangers think then you will never be happy and find true love. You love the person for who they are , not what color their skin is.

To me, the responses here just show how messed up people are. I am a white male. I tend to date white women. Why? Because I have more interaction with them and opportunity. I have dated black women and other races, and my experience is that there are awesome women in every race, just like there are losers. There is absolutely nothing wrong with a BBW in my eyes. Beauty and size are totally not related. Truth be told, I find black women very attractive. I do not find thug like women of any race attractive. But every time these questions come up the responses are ba<x>sed totally on race ba<x>sed assumptions. So much for our "post race" society. Who cares? Pursue the person you find attractive. Black, white, tan, blonde, blue or brown eyes, if people are honest with themselves they all have things that physically attract them. It is not racist, sorry to the hurt naysayers. Good luck to each in finding their own perfect match. Whoever that may be.

hank you for your reply. You know the point of my story was that I realized that I really love white men. You cant ignore race. Race matters in America. It always have. The reason why this guy and I are NOT together was due to my race. It sounds as if even though you claimed to have dated women of other races, you PREFER white women. Cannot knock you for your choice, but it sure would be nice if you said you really love the sistas!

It looks like I may have fallen short of what I was trying to say. Actually I love the sistas. I wish they loved me more. :) Actually, I have no real preference, I love women of all shapes and colors, my only real preference is that I prefer bbws. Race is kind of a non issue for me as attraction goes. It can be an issue in other things though, you are quite right. I think it is very sad to hear someone got dumped or ruled out because of their race alone. I feel bad for your loss there, but I think I feel worse for his loss. The big thing I seek is the same as most people... The person who makes me prefer only them. And I found myself here because I would very much like it if that person turns out to be a sista. :)

Oh Ok. Makes sense now. Thank you for clarifying your point!. Well, I know I LOVE white guys. MY bad experience did not deter me from still being attracted to white en or other non-black men. Its also good to know you love BBWs. I am a true BBW! Curvy and all!

I am a white man who is very attracted to black women. I would love a relationship with a black woman as I dont care what anyone else thinks. But I feel like it is the woman who is also troubled by what friends and family think. I had a relationship with a black woman and when her family found out she was seeing a white guy they disapproved and she stopped seeing me

That is very sad!