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Jesus Saved A Schizophrenic

I believe everyone is here for a reason. I have a story about Christ Jesus, more a life story so far. I was raised in a church going family and believed in God since I was little. It was because it made sense to me that there was a creator behind creation, especially with how intricate life was. However, I never chose to follow Jesus or made it a goal to actually get to know God very much. In fact I remember when I was very young in church thinking, "I might worry about God when I am getting close to death." Boy did that show how ignorant and foolish I was.

Well, I lived a pretty good life as a kid. I went to school and did very well in it getting high honors and raced BMX until about age 13. Around that age, before I got really bad, I went on a Christian trip to an event called "Gold Rush" where at the end they had a call to the cross. They invited people to accept Jesus and write their name on a piece of paper and nail it to the cross. In my heart I wanted to go so badly. I felt the call and wanted to go but for some reason I didn't. Maybe I was too hardened or scared.

Around then is when I stopped racing BMX and my life took a turn for the worse. I became reclusive and addicted to online gaming and ****. My taste in music turned to songs that were very evil and satanic. I started cursing at my parents and becoming a terrible person in general. I became obsessed with online gaming and would stay up all night, and eventually I needed glasses because of this. I eventually got involved in a rock band and start smoking marijuana occasionally. The marijuana gave me very bad experiences and paranoia, as well as other weird sensations.

I eventually started getting into Buddhism and meditation, in a way I was very gradually coming back to at least a sense of spirituality. The Buddhism and meditation wrecked my mind though because I started thinking I could levitate things like in the stories you hear. I would meditate 7 hours or more and in general became overly emotional, and I believe I allowed negative forces to prey upon me in that state. I had no clue what I was getting into after all. I started listening to "A Perfect Circle's" album called "E-motive" and this made me realize how hardened I had become and how much love I lacked for people and I really started caring for people.

I eventually was starting to come around but had not yet fully accepted Jesus as my Lord and savior. Also, when I smoked the marijuana I always had bad trips and sensations and the delusions I started having came shortly after.

One day my father took me on a trip to a college since I was around 17 or 18 to scout them out. I started thinking the clouds were signs from God and that they symbolized a major spiritual war going on. There certainly was a war for my heart at least. When we were at the college I was filled with paranoid and psychotic ideas. For example I thought that a woman was there who said to "Try all the sweets" was a messenger of Satan sent to tempt me into gluttony.

I then started to see and hear things and deteriorate mentally. I saw demons and began vomiting because I thought that was how they came out. I stopped eating, drinking, sleeping, and ran away from home to churches to be "exorcised" because I thought I was demon possessed. Looking back now I can see that it may have been likely since there were very evil forces at work on me. Also, smoking and meditation warped my mind along with the sinful life I had led.

Eventually I was in North Carolina visiting my uncle with my sister and mother. She received a call that she had been diagnosed with breast cancer. Later on we eventually went to a church where the minister had a call to the altar if we needed prayer. My grandma and I and my family all went to the altar and I broke down crying because I thought my mother was going to die. I felt like it was my fault she got cancer because of all the stress I caused her the way I lived. I still believe that I did cause it to be honest, because stress can make disease we are prone to come out.

I started my journey back to God but yet my mind and body were ill from a life of sin which had formed a illness called "schizo-affective disorder" which included hallucinations, delusions, hearing things, and many other very bad things. It came to the point where I was laying in the bath tub one night in my own vomit, urine, and feces (sorry for the graphics but it's what happened) where I thought I was doomed to hell and I was out of my mind. I screamed "JESUS SAVE ME!". Shortly afterward my father came down to see what was happening and he cleaned me up and had me eat and drink since I wasn't for days. I was 50 pounds and 128 pounds at 5' 11 and very underweight for my height from all the not eating or drinking for weeks on and off. I thought I had to fast to cleanse myself from demons.

Well, not too long after the tub incident I was brought into a mental health crisis unit where they interrogated me and injected me with medicine against my will. It was the scariest experience of my entire life and I wouldn't wish it on the most evil person to ever live. I woke up 2 days later in the mental hospital where I felt terrible. I was starving and went to the kitchen to get food. Ironically, one of the first people I met there was a Wiccan. I told her Jesus loved her and we talked and then she gave me a hug.

Not too long after that I was laying in the hospital bed at night when something very different happened than the hellish experience that had occurred earlier. I was laying in bed crying and said a prayer to the effect of "Father in heaven I am so sorry for the horrible life I lived that caused me to end up like this. I am so sorry for the way I have lived and I never want to be like that again. I never want to sin again. I am so sorry." Then I just wept and wept. Not long after that Jesus appeared in a white robe at the end of my bed and he touched my foot. He touched my foot and I felt the sin leave my body like a poison was sucked out. A tiny bright flame appeared in the center of my mind and that was the night I became born again.

There are many other interesting things that happened after that even around may 18, 2005 but It would take hundreds of pages in a book to fill my life before and after Christ. Since I became born again life has not been easy. My physical mind and body have gone through the ringer with over 20+ or more medicines for my illness and stomach illnesses caused by the meds. I have had immense sorrow and pain at times from the suffering. I was hospitalized 10 more times after than one in 2005 but something was different. I was aware I had the Lord with me.

My life has not been roses since I accepted Christ as my savior. In fact it has been the very opposite, but I am so glad I know him. I can say with 1000% honesty he never has failed me. I am still alive and he has done so many miraculous things in my life that I could probably fill books and books with them. Life may be hard but God is good and I can honesty say I am glad to have went through the hard times because they build character and hope and perseverance.

That is my story in a nut shell. I know my Father looks after me and he will never fail me. He longs for all to know him deeply as a Father and that is why he sent his Son Jesus to bear our sin and shame on the cross and to arise to give us a hope that life never ends. Love triumphs over death ultimately. ~May the Father bless you in the Son, through the Holy Spirit. Amen
deleted deleted 26-30 15 Responses May 5, 2012

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Umm, hello! XD Your vision of Jesus was just another hallucination! Lol. It's sad to see how naive you people are.

That was beautiful...to see God's wonder through all your suffering just shows how Mighty He is. Someone who isn't saved would never see the beauty through the suffering and that would be because without Him, life has no purpose or meaning. I am saying a prayer for you right now to overcome your illness and to be able to get off those meds. Above all you are blessed and I am blessed to hear your story. Love in Christ, Heather

Thank you for your story! It was very inspiring! My late brother was a schizophrenic, it is a very troubling, disturbing and misunderstood illness. He did know Jesus but suffered so much in this life. I pray that God gives you the strength to continue on his path!!!

Amen! Thank you for sharing your inspiring story. God bless you and strengthen you as you persevere!

I can relate to this story so much it's crazy.

My cousin at this moment, she is 14 and has been schizophrenic for a year. She was saved when she was 7. Which is good. She attempted suicide 2 times, but a voice amidst the others kept telling her not to. And who do you think that was? The mighty power of Jesus Christ!

Thanks, I will look that up. Me and my cousin are more like BFF's to be honest, and we are planning on writing a book in the future. I will inform her about your channel as well. God bless!

I considered myself a Satanist up until the other night. Music has a powerful effect upon people. I've been admitted on four 5150s, and it's crazy. I am trying not to think about stuff like that again, but just poke and prod my activity on here if you want to know more. I'm keeping my head up, and trying to stay positive, even when temptation comes knocking at my door.

Wow What a TESTIMONY my friend ..........This a a miracle truly God CAN turn all peoples life's around if they truly seek him Amen ........

It's just another manifestation of his schizophrenia.

think your reply is very insulting .......:(

Why?

because you cannot judge a book by it's cover as the saying goes......
Its u p to God to do that.....You are being judgmental, prideful, and arrogant,
Got to give him the benefit of doubt this person needs LOVE AND ENCOURAGEMENT..........LOVE ONE ANOTHER BECAUSE LOVE COMES FROM GOD....HATE WHAT IS EVIL. AND CLING ON TO WHAT IS GOOD........Humble yourself s before the Lord.....

I'm not "judging a book by its cover." I'm saying that a person who has hallucinated in the past is likely to keep hallucinating. You're now insulting and lying about me. That's not very Godlike.

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Love your testimony and it's real unlike alot of them I have heard. You are blessed and saved by the grace of God. I have had similiar experiences before and after. After coming to Christ my life has been so difficult. I know we are not here for long and this is our time to be perfected. Not easy. God is good and faithful. Praying to God it get better. Love to be happy again.

Oh, Praise the Lord....In all things giving thanks for this is His will concerning you who are in Jesus Christ....all things work together for good to those who love our dear God and are called to His purpose....You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you...If God be for us...Who can be against us...Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ...who took forhimself no reputation but to live for God and for assuring others that He has you in his Hand......(these are all biblical promises found in God's Holy Word.. I dont recall the scripture references but He also tells us to study His word as good workmen rightly dividing the truth from error.... So get a good study bible like the Thompson or Nelson reference Bible that has commentaries and is written in easy to understand english..God Bless you young warrior in Christ...

Awesome! Thank you for sharing this story, always a blessing to hear how Christ works in another's life. Much love and best wishes.

I know what it's like too. Currently going through something similar. Spiritual war is not fun. But it's going to be ok.

Your story truly encouraged me. I have struggled with mental illness my entire life and with God's help I will come out on the other side. Honestly I am struggling to hold onto hope; please pray for me. I am thankful for people like you who are willing to share their testimonies.

I am so happy for you., God has a unique way of working into each our unique lives.

amen the lord is great