Who Can I Speak To ?
I have been a born again Christian for about 4 years now, I come from a violent and demonic childhood, I met a man who showed me the lord , he was a beautiful person but even tho I was now more aware of my sins, I cheated on him. I was sorry I had done this and preyed for.forgiveness. I was 18 and he was 35 so I guess it just wasnt ment to be that's not excusing my behaviour. Now I am with another man, he isn't a believer but he's a diamond and im very much in love. Im now 21 and have noone except him. Which means I have no friends or family that I can talk to about the lord. I've spoken to my partner but I want to take things easy with him incase I put him off. I hate socializing I can't bring myself to do it so how do I this. I've become a terrible Christian, I smoke I swear I lie I eye up other men even though im happy, the list goes on. But the thing is .... Inside im not that person. I feel unworthy to prey to God now as I no he loves me but is disappointed. not boasting so please don't take this as vanity , I have been blessed with beauty and I have a very large chest, I get so much attention and find it hard not to play on it. I no it's wrong I really need good advice so please guys I would appreciate deeply if anyone has some advice x