I have been drawn to God since early childhood - a bit of a surprise really since neither of my parents were "religious" or went to church. Where did that come from? Was it a feel that God was watching over me, or calling me to relationship with him - or was it someone or something from my early school years? I really don't know.
I attended many churches wanting to be part of one where I could feel I was in the right place. I used to call myself a Christian based upon the fact that I went to church and read the bible, as I got older I even prayed on a regular basis. I was sure there had to be a God, and I believed Jesus was a real person who had lived, taught people, healed people, had been crucified, died and had arose again. But that was still all head knowledge, it was not heart knowledge. Yes, I believed it, no I did not feel it. But I still thought that I was a Christian.
In 2010 that all changed. It was not any one thing that brought about the change, it was a combination of things that made a difference.
I had been struggling in an abusive relationship (that ended shortly after I became a born again Christian) a time came when she had to go away for a few weeks to help her family. I spent a lot of time in prayer, went on an Alpha course, made some new Christian friends and had one or two things happen that brought everything together.
When I reached the point that head knowledge had become heart knowledge I said the prayer thanking Jesus for all he had done for me, saying sorry for the things I had done wrong, and asking him into my life as Lord and Saviour.
For a couple of years it was great!!! I was alive and on fire for God, I had a couple of Christian websites, ran several Christian groups on Facebook and was active in mission work, then slowly, life took its toll and the zeal died down to a small flicker.
I have had a few difficult years, but I am on my way back up to the level where I used to be. I did notice some posts on here about being a spirit filled Christian, I am not quite there yet, but moving in the right direction once more, aiming to get there and wanting to stay there next time.
tcennoC tcennoC
56-60, M
Aug 20, 2014