Being A 17 Year Old Girl Burn Victim Around Perfect Plastic

I was burnt as a child by hot water on my right breast and half arm when i was a few months old. So for as long as i can remember the skin on my arm and chest looked like frozen water of a river wrinkly and angry. Growing up i was surrounded by girls and as the years went by the differences between me and them became apparent .At first it small things like not being able to wear a dress or people staring when i swam in a pool or went to the beach, but as i grew up i became extremely self conscious of myself. As a girl growing up i went through the process of puberty to emerge as a surprisingly pretty girl. Guys started to like me and compliment me and ask me out and things were ok for a while until things got a bit more serious and i realized that i am incapable of allowing a guy or anyone besides my closest friends to see the scars. For a few years now every girl i look at I feel is better than me and i feel intensely that any guy who saw them would run in the other direction and treat me like i have a disability. About a year ago i had an operation to supposedly better the appearance of the scar but so far it looks like it has only made it worse despite what the doctors say.The operation also involved the doctors removing skin from my leg to apply to the burn scar leaving another big scar on my right leg which the the doctors promised would be gone completely in a year. Instead more than a year later i now have a scar on my leg fading at an excruciatingly slow pace, I spent the entire summer in jeans and long sleeved t shirts making up excuses for why i wasn't wearing a bikini. The operation was also extremely hard to deal with involving 3 months of astonishing pain and depression. Ill never forget seeing my arm once the bandages were taken off looking like someone had simply ripped the skin off my body exposing a piece of raw meat, with little emotional support from my mum who could not hide her own disgust .I feel like no guy will ever see the scars and look at me the same instead all they will see are my scars, and then i wont be a pretty girl anymore then ill just be the girl who freaked the guy out too much to touch her. I feel so alone amongst my friends who cant begin to understand what it feels like to hide everything about who you are under clothes that slowly became as part of you as your skin because what is underneath is too terrifying to look at. i feel like my burn has made me who I am and it hasn't made me stronger its left me weak and drained me emotionally. I feel like the person i would be without my scar is always someone whos lurking in the shadows and she is who i am until i jerk away from someones touch or adjust my shirt in case its has slipped and am reminded that shes just a mask of what i have truly become, an insecure weak mess.
An Ep User An EP User
6 Responses Jan 10, 2013

Hello It's Senghenydd again Thanks for the information about Burn's World I had a brief look at it it looks ok I have two web site which should be of interest to you firstly there's the Katie Piper Web site, Katie was a young model who was going somewhere, however she got involved with the wrong guys and had acid thrown in her face it was very strong acid her face is badly disfigured and she lost an eye her teeth she has had more than two hundred operations anyway her web site is she runs workshops and raises funds for hospital treatment she was running a Burns Support Group in Nottingham only I suspect that went pear shape another group I would like to recommend to you is www.chelwest.nhs/services/surgery/burns-service/burns-support-groups try accessing those web sites I'm sure you'll find them interesting anyway it's 9.31 am in the old country time I went off and done some work Bye for now, Senghenydd

u r over reacting iam also sensitive i have scar on alll my left arm left breast half of my vright arm i had graft like u from my leg to my arm and there is scar on my leg but iam engaged i love my fiance i told him he dont care he said i love u the one who loved u will kiss the burn human is not only a skin apperance and beauty from the base (inside then outside ) also guys saw the burn my girl friend its not our fault plez love urself we have to love ourself then inspite pepole will loves us

Hey , I totally know where you're coming from..I was burned at 3yrs old... but I know how it feel not to be able to wear those cute clothes your friends are wearing and go swimming or to the beach...BUT... You will find love... YOU are a Survivor and a fighter ,,, During my relations in high school when it started to get serious, I would let him know I was burned on my arms and legs.and chest.....If he didnt like it he could leave... it was hard but you need to start a relationship with being open. We are all insecure as women even without burns. Im 46 yrs old and still have issues we all do ..

Hi there, I am not a burn victim but my friend was burned recently, so I've been researching online. I came across this post and hope it's ok that I leave a comment. I admire your strength and courage and want you to know that you won't feel like this forever. The RIGHT man will make you feel BEAUTIFUL. We all have scars. Sometimes they are physical, sometimes they are emotional but as long as you remember to keep your head up and keep taking one step each day, good things will happen. I can't imagine ever being turned off from a friend or a potential love-interest over ANY kind of scars. If anything, you might feel very insecure and that is what turns people away. I hope you don't take offense because I don't know what it's like to have these scars but I do hope you know that I don't have a single person in my life right now who would turn down the one he/she loved over scars. No matter how serious. I'd be willing to bet, you are beautiful inside AND out.

I agree with Kjo6 you do not have to feel like this. I felt the same way growing up and becoming a woman. Yes it is hard to cope especially now with media and society putting so much emphasis on physical appearances (especially for women). My first love really helped me in the area of intimacy. I guess he knew that I had scars even though I always kept them hidden. When he first told me that he knew why I tensed up whenever he tried to get closer I was surprised and scared. But he assured me that he loved me for me and he slowly kissed every inch of my scar on my arm. That gave me so much more confidence.
I am married and have been for 11 years now. Just a thought...many of my friends who have no scars are still searching for "the right one". I consider myself blessed in that aspect that I have a husband who loves me unconditionally and treats me good. So start loving you for you...look at yourself as a survivor, strong!! Not many people can not go through what we have been through without being severly depressed and or going through life unhappy. Hope this helps.

Hello there.

You do not have to feel like this.

There are men (actually, boys) at your age that might not like what they see, but they do not know anything about life just yet, they only accept beauty as what media pictures for them as beauty, when beauty trully comes from within.

You have to begin by loving yourself first. Those scars do not define who you actually are, and honestly they are nothing to the wonderful person that I am sure you are.

When you love yourself you will know that you deserve to be loved, and even though, you will not care whether or not people love and accept you for who you are, because you will find happiness within yourself.

The day will come when you will find someone that will accept you for who you are despite of anything physical and you will not be afraid of showing that person your scars, because these marks do not form part of your personality. A person that will trully love you will look past every physical aspect and into your heart and soul, and will love you no matter what changes or remains of yourself.