Survivor of Cancer

  I lost my husband my best friend to Cancer over two years ago, helping him go through the chemo, Radiation and the endless trips to the hospital and Dr.'s offices was hard. He was given day to weeks to live and we eeked out 9 and a half great productive months with the help of supplements, good healthy eating and pure will power. I was able to keep him home and towards the end he only had two days of being bed ridden, God Blessed us and he died at home. You never are prepared to say good bye, even though you know there was going to be that day that your good byes would have to be said. I was as if a sleep walker, going through my days and nights, weeks, months and years, 2 yrs. before I found this site and started to come out of this zombie state. Changed Dr.'s and the first thing my new Dr. said was, it's been two years since your last mammogram lets do one.. Well it came back showing calcification's, the Dr. said lets get a biopsy to check it out and thank God my Dr. was vigilante, the cancer was still in the duct  and was so small that the biopsy got most of it, I had a lumpectomy and had 6 weeks of radiation. My last MRI, which was a few weeks ago came out free and clear of any cancer. I was one of the fortunate ones with early detection I didn't need to have chemo, the radiation was basically a preventative, it took my risk of developing cancer in that breast to 16%. I'm taking a pill called Avista and that will take the chances of getting cancer in the other breast to 20%. I thank God my cancer was caught early and I find myself preaching to anyone I meet, early detection can make the difference. The word  "Cancer" is such a devastating  word, I had been through the ravages with my husband, the pain of losing him, watching him go from a strong healthy man to someone I almost couldn't recognize. I stand a survivor from losing and dieing daily with my husband and then going through and seeing the same Dr.'s same hospital, radiation, surgery and I'm able to say Thank God for my cancer... Yes Thank God, I'm cancer free and I will be tested regularly, and catch anything in it's earliest of stages. I didn't have to wait to feel a lump, my cancer was in it's early stages. Please get tested and tell everyone you love to get tested, to watch a loved one die of this insidious disease is the worst. God Bless all of us who know the devastation cancer causes and all who remain in their struggle.
grams grams
56-60, F
25 Responses Jan 12, 2008

I can imagine your pain. Seeing the demise of somebody so close with the same illness as yours must have given you more will-power, I guess. Stay healthy. Take care!

I lost 4 persons to cancer: unimaginable. Death is a normal course of life... however, it hurts.

My dear , lm very sorry about your loss , God will be with yu , forever till He calls yu , we thank Him for His healing powers

Your stories are very moving and thank God yours was detected early. Cancer is truly a devastating disease. I lost my dad to cancer and I can resonate with anyone going through this painful experience.<br />
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I am a two time cancer survivor.

I'm a cancer survior also glad to know your doing good

Telnfamous They, So sorry for your loss. Your Dad will always be with you, My hubby even now helps me through difficult times , his words just come to me and guide me through all kinds of things. and when I need to be lifted out of a sad mood or a poor me attitude his humor comes to me with his , "Get movin, Your burning daylight girI " I was and still am blessed by his love.<br />
God Bless...

I am so sorry for your loss i was told i had fourth stage stomach cancer 2 months ago after a colon resection I have hope and faith but it is scary

It is the hardest thing watching someone suffer with cancer I lost my father to cancer a month ago, it feels like hell living without him. I thank god for all the moments we had together as father and daughter. They gave him a few months to live after it was detected in the fourth stage my dad lived for 6 months and pass at home I was there with him when he took his last breaths. <br />
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He was holding my brothers hand and squeezed it twice to tell everyone I believe that it was going to be ok. <br />
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Love you dad, I miss your words of encouragement and your hugs.

Thank you Mother2009, my surviving cancer was bitter sweet, as tony said in his comment, the question comes to mind why do some lose and some win, as I left the radiation room for the last time, I left with a mixture of Joy and a heavy dose of sadness for the ones who were not going to be so lucky. Insidious disease

I'm sorry about your losses. I'm glad you are still with us.<br />
Power to you.

Childoftheland, so good to hear from you again. Glad to her you are eating properly and with the knowledge that your body needs the extra nutrients to help your body recover from the treatment. also seem to have a good attitude with living with this insidious disease. Glad you have this special relationship ith your son, he has to feel good knowing he is helping more ways than one, he is the best reason to take that extra bite of food and to fight when you just want to sleep. God Bless you and your family.<br />
Aloha, my friend Hugss Joanne

Mahalo so much for your post Grams. I posted this sometime ago and wasnt even sure if you were still here. I didn't realize I had to check back when I comment (I naively thought it would show up in my circle). Now, here it is over a month later and I read your reply.<br />
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Things are going ok - the sheer exhaustion that seems to hit when you least expect it, has been difficult being a mother of a very active 6 year old. I have explained that the illness I have requires Mommy to do several treatments that will actually make me feel more sick before I get better. He has been a trooper and I keep him updated; and he helps take care of me.<br />
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At the same time, I now know the importance of Cancer support groups - I have one here in Hawaii that has been a God send. Not making the cancer the Big White Elephant in the middle of the room has made it much easier for my family to deal with this.<br />
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Thank you for reminding me to eat. This has been the biggest struggle for me. I have virtually no appetite whatsoever. I force my self to add high protein into my diet, plenty of fresh organic vegies. Since the appetite is gone, I find that if I force a little TINY meail 6 times a day, it ensures that I will eat. This past month I lost 27 pounds. Too much more wheight loss and I will be in trouble. I thankfully, started out about 20 overweight and had really resigned my self to never losing those last 20. My hope is that it will stop soon - my body needs the weight.<br />
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Thank you again for your kind words of wisdom - i will use your suggestions, as I believe that who better to take direction from, then those who have walked this walk before me.<br />
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Aloha and a hui ho (Means Love and until we meet again in Hawaiian),<br />
Love, Child

Childoftheland, I'm so glad you found EP, for what ever reason, I know I found so much comfort here after my husband died. I have found the importance of getting my feelings out, here you can feel free to express what is in your heart and mind, I find it theoretical to write about my feelings ,and to also try to give encouragement to others. I did not have to get chemo, just radiation, it has been over a year and I'm still sore in my breast. Try to learn as much as you can about good eating habits, you will need to keep your blood level up. Try to eat things rich in iron even if they don't taste good, as the chemo will make things taste differently. I know from my husbands treatment. Eat even if you don't feel hungry, I use to tell my hubby when he was full, take one more bite for me. When I took the radiation treatments I would put myself in another place, by remembering trips I took with my hubby, I closed my eyes and went to all those countries,states or cities we had visited, It helped and the time seemed to fly by. I know what you mean about your son, My grandchildren saw what cancer did to their grandfather and when they heard I had cancer to, they told me I was going to be alright, They were able to see the treatment change my energy level and accepted grams having to nap more. Truth is always the best medicine, but they never gave in to the fear and neither did I.They were 12 and 9 years old. We talked about my treatment allot. It is what they don't understand that scares them.let your son freely ask questions and do the best to answer honestly but with encouragement and determination be get well. My treatment just brought back such memories of my lose and that was the most difficult part for me. I pray all will go well with you, get prepared for your, tests,treatment, and learn all you can about the side effects of the drugs given you and how you can help yourself, with diet. God Bless I will keep you in my prayers. <br />
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P.S. I know what you mean about the smell of oncology ward, plan ahead put a nice smell of what ever on a tissue, and as you travel in your mind keep your tissue close. Big Hug<br />
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Ciao, Grams

Thank you so much for your story Grams. A couple of weeks ago, I was diagnosed with Stage II Melanoma. It is a rare Melanoma that wasn't caused by sun exposure (it is in a place that would never get the sun). Apparently it is also hereditary. My Mother had Stage 4 and was told she had 6 months to live - she is now cancer free 6 years. So, stories like yours and my mother do bring me hope.<br />
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I haven't been real willing to talk about it, but have been reading everyone's posts. I am now slowly getting the words out. I am trying to have my faith override my fear. I had one surgery and now radiation and possibly chemo are next on the oncologist's list (not necessarily in that order). But before they set the full course of treatment, I am going through a barage of tests - lymph node biopsy, tons of blood work, ct scans, chest x-rays, seems like every test known to man. If the cancer doesn't get me, I think the insurance co-pays will (a wee bit of humor in the midst of all of this). It's just really scary. I hate the waiting part.<br />
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I am also worried about how I will feel after chemo and radiation. I am a very young 48 (or so I like to think so) and I am hoping my body will handle all of the poison.<br />
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I think the worst part of this whole journey is the fear of leaving behind the love of my life - my 6 year old son. He knows Mommy is sick, but we have decided not to use the word cancer. A little girl in his school just lost her Mom to cancer and all of the kids know about it. I just don't want to put my son through any unnecessary worry. He is a very smart little boy and extremely sensitive. My prognosis is quite hopeful and the doctors feel the cancer was caught early. However, even with this known, I am still scared.<br />
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Noting all the comments about the smell of the oncology floor - yes, there definitely is a distinct smell. I hate all hospital smells. I think they should come up with a way to have treatments like chemo outdoors, sitting on a beautiful beach (we have plenty here), watching the waves crash and breathing the salt air. Seems like a much better way.<br />
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Thank you everyone for your stories of survival, courage, faith, hope and more. I am grateful to have found ep (funny, I found ep because of a separation from my husband - life's little gifts; I guess the powers that be knew I would need even more support).<br />
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Aloha,<br />

I have been accused of being as a child, having faith as believing in childish bed time stories. and I still consider this person as a friend. How can you explain to a person who doesn't have faith how powerful and important our faith is to us. I'll never forget my husbands words, "I'm not afraid, I'm just going to miss the hell out of you". He had faith, that we would be together again one day. I'm so glad your daughter is cancer free, God Bless

Bluebird, Watching someone you love suffer has got to be the hardest thing to go through. There are so many med's that help with the pain and don't skimp, because at this time all we can do for them is keep them as comfortable as possible, and be with them, let them know they are not alone. Since my writing here, I have helped my X Father in law leave this world from Cancer, he was also in Hospice care but We arranged someone from the family to always be with him, and I was there with him as he took his last breaths, he knew he was not alone. It may sound weird, but the getting yourself ready for her passing will help you both, If you know there is no hope , then the best you can pray for is her easy passing, say all that's in your heart ( No soulda's, coulda's, woulda's) Your memories will alway be there to help you through. God Bless, my thoughts are with you and your family.

My sister is suffering from Lung cancer,and she has been in Hospice, but she is going home tomorrow,<br />
The dr, cant do ayything for her, It is so hard to see her <br />

Im so happy for you,i lost my wife in 04 to breast cancer,she was the best women i had in my life.Her children stayed with me afther she died,16,17,18.i still have one at home,and she is in collage.but when we got the news,that she would die,it hurt me so bad.And we all went trough so much,i still miss her.I have not went out with any one since her.She was 40 when she passed.The house had so many memories,that i had to move.So i could move on.I just wonder way so many lose and so few win.Tony

To all, it has been over three years now and the lose of my husband is still hard, I can always get through the day as I have many wonderful memories to draw from. We all have to just live our lives as if it were our last, keep good things in your heart and head. I have had my second mammogram and all is well, I'm thankful for everyday and every person in my life. past , present and cheerfully anticipate new friends...

from2008, every time you speak to your father tell him what is in your heart, it is so much easier if there is no shoulda, coulda, would's , get everything said, let him know how much he means to you. I pray you have a long time with him, God Bless.<br />
almost, thank you so much for your kind words, it has been three Thanksgivings with out my best friend and it is still so very hard. I have to push myself to get through the Holidays. We, are lucky though, you and I found that special person to share our lives with, some never find that kind of love. I feel blessed and that help me get through the day.. May you have many years of love , laughter, and the joy of life. Never take it for granted. I had no shoulda, coulda, woulda's, we lived our last months with such love and life, we knew every moment could have been our last together and we took advantage to make them quality time. You are right our love lives on.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your husband, my husband is also my best friend, I'd be lost without him- I really don't have many friends outside of my husband honestly. No one like him.<br />
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I'm happy to hear of your recovery and about finding the cancer so quickly.<br />
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I wish I knew what to say about the loss of your husband, but all I can say is he's not gone, the ones we love never truly leave us IMO.

It's the first time I see this site and write a comment. I don't know the "group" as you said, but I really want to share my feeling about Cancer. My dad is 58 yrs old, he took an surgury at the christmas day in 2006. His stomach was totally cut off , until now we havn't tell him he hasn't a stomach. I will never forget how I feel when I heard from my big brother that my dad caught a stomach cancer. He live together with my dad far away at my hometown. Now my dad live with me in beijing, I just want to treasure every day he is still healthy and could walk around. I drove him and mom all over beijing ,which they only have come 28 yrs ago,the year I was born. Now I'm on a business journey of 3 months at yunnan ,south west of china.I don't know when will the bad news come.

Thank you Cyndi, I feel the same about you, our group is full of strong, wonderful, inspiring people. It is awe inspiring and humbling to be in the company of this special group of people. Wahoo, trust me I Wahoo every chance I get, as a survivor I know how precious life is and I don't take anything for granted and appreciate every day, So I try to wahoo more than ever before....LOL Hugs

I'm sending you a big WAHOO! Wishing you continued health and happiness this new year. Find a way to wahoo everyday, it's good for the mind, body and soul. :)

I am so glad you caught it early too. You are one strong lady. Iwouldn't wish cancer on anyone. But since we had to have it I am glad to be in the survivors club with you. Hugs, CMR