Times 2

I was 19. It was the first day of my cycle, and I thought I was going to die. The pain was unbearable, and I threw up for hours. The doctors said it was a cyst and changed my birth control. Three months later it was worse than ever before. Ultrasound....nothing. Pap.....nothing. Ectopic pregnancy....no. I ate Aleve until my stomach ached and prayed for death. Finally they found it....a teeny, tiny place on my left fallopian tube. Biopsy showed cancer. Full hysterectomy at 23. No mets, so no radiation or chemo.

Fast forward to age 34. A nodule on my thyroid that was found by accident. I was sent to a thyroid specialist who documented the size and said we would repeat ultrasound in 6 months. We did, and the nodule had grown. Biopsy. Positive for psammoma bodies (calcium deposits usually associated with thyroid cancer). Total thyroidectomy and two rounds of radioactive iodine. I'm on synthroid for the rest of my life.

It is the scariest, most life changing thing to hear. I never doubted I would make it, because I was mas as hell at this disease and I wanted revenge. More than that I wanted to live. I was also lucky. Both cancers were extremely curable and very slow to spread. I don't ever want to hear "you have cancer" again. But I'm no longer angry. I'm actually kind of grateful. I was finally able to understand what is important in life. I dropped all my walls and lived life to the fullest with the people that mattered the most to me. I went out of my way to let people know I cared, I loved them, and I valued them. I gained a sense of humor (something I found difficult before). I learned to let petty things go.

I still have bad days. I still fear that someday this thing called cancer will get me for good. But if it does, at least I will go knowing I did the best I could.

I wish you all love, peace, and a great life.
nooneiam nooneiam
2 Responses Nov 5, 2012

Ok would u be on later tonight around 9pm/10pm

Hi I'd like to help u when will u be online

I'm usually on throughout the day.