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Am I A Cancer Survivor.

I dont know if I qualify as a cancer survivor , but I feel as though sould.About ten years ago my wife Sue was diagnosed with breast cancer, on hearing that word I was absolutely devastated. I thought the end of our world had come , After a couple of operations  and a  course of radio therapy , she made a steady recovery and after a period of nine years of regular check ups she seems fine . (almost) the thing I have noticed since the terrible day we found out , she changed in a way which is hard to explain ,The only way I can describe it isthat when I talk to her she seems vacant/distant ,as though it is on her mind all of the time,

Thinking we had the worst behind us we moved to a simpler life-style, and then last February our youngest daughter Joanne  38 years old phoned to say that she had been diagnosed with the same thing , I almost collapsed on hearing this once again, The breast cancer my daughter  had been diagnosed with , was a very aggresive type, She has just finished 10 months of operations  chemo /radio  therapy, and appears to be doing okay, It is only time that will tell. I

know it is eay to say I wish it was me instead of some one else  but in this intance I would have taken either of their places. I would like to hear from anyone else who has been unfortunate to go through a similar thing  and do I qualify in being a cxxxxr survivor

alvin521 alvin521 61-65, M 24 Responses Jan 14, 2010

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Yes, you do qualify. I've had 3 friends that have gone through the same thing. We all thank the Lord every day they came through it with flying colors, yes they lost their breast, but that's by far not all there is to being a real woman and a real survivor!

Oh i am so sory to hearing this story. It really break my heart to hear what ur family been through.. i wish all the best for ur loved ones. Hope full recovery both ur wife and daughter. All i know that u are such a loving husband and father and im sure they are blessed to have u for them. My heart goes to u too. May God Bless u always my dear freind.

Alvin,
I am so sorry I never saw this story before now. I see it was written a few years ago and am hoping everything is ok with your wife and daughter. I lost my Mom to breast cancer. She died at age 62. She lived 5 years after being diagnosed. My heart goes out to you.

my heart goes out to you all.. It is not easy having cancer in ones family especially with the two people you love most dearly. Sue has been through hell and back and i can see how it would change a person, it puts life into prospective, your beautiful daughter Joanne, i sincerely hope that it does not return and that she will fight this, poor poor girl... all i can say is that your women seem like fighters and chatting to you.. they have a brave warrior by their sides, love and best wishes to you all T

Alvin it's like Al Anon those close to the ailing person need support too and have almost as much pain as the suffers. The care givers have a difficult journey being supportive of their loved ones. I know there are support groups for cancer survivors and their significant others. After having such a horrific ordeal in ones life tends to make us roll up in a ball. Bless you, your wife and your daughter.

Did you know that no chemotherapy is usually better than any? The studies that were done on the effects of chemotherapy only used patients that were healthy enough to make it through the treatment and there are secretly people who died in the development of studies promoting it, but they did not 'qualify' in the study because they did not make it through the whole process.

Please consider using laetrile (vitamin B17). It is shown to be a full proof cure to cancer, but the government has been covering it up since the 1930's. Laetrile can even be found in grass and it was proven by anecdotal evidence when farmers noticed their cows growing tumors when they were not eating grass in the pastures during winter.

Try joining a caregivers group, others like yourself who ahve someone close who has been diagnosed with cancer. The Cancer Support Community has such groups. Otherwise you do not qualify as a cancer survivor because you do not have cancer and that is the one and only requirement.

Thanks Barbara.

My mother died here in this room with Pancreatic Cancer. It was hard to watch and so sad, and painful. She got so skinny. She was always sick and in pain. I nevere cried in front of her. I'd cry when I dumped her pans and buckets, then I'd get myself straight and come back in here and we'd talk and try for some semblance of normalcy. Thank God your wife and daughter are alive. They gave my Mom six months and that was what she lived. I wish that we could rid this planet of that disease. It kills so many who need to live and be with their families. Speaking of death, I hate what is happening in Japan. Glad your girls are alive. God Bless you all.

Yes, you are a cancer survivor. My mom died of pancreatic cancer right here in this room we use as a computer-study room. It was awful. I won't describe it. I guess you must try to get your wife out as much as possible. I know it is so hard to do that. I suffer from depression and my docs want me to get daylight, but I just don't feel like it. But, you hang in there with them. They are having a difficult time and you are having it too. Take care

Ah, what tough times you've been through as a family. Yes, you are a cancer survivor too. The pain, stress and illness that a carer experiences is not as acute or devastating physically as the patient, but just as emotionally draining and stressful. Trying to be strong and brave and provide support, care and attend to the daily chores is tremendously difficult. <br />
My husband had cancer before I met him, and we live with it's "return threat" daily. He has been a miracle survivor of a particularly nasty form and level of disease. It has been over 30 years! He had a melanoma - Clark's level 4, normally terminal. <br />
His brother died from pancreatic cancer 8 years ago, and it was dreadful to see. He was terminal and took part in drug trials which was immensely unselfish of him, and the devastation it wrought on his body and emotions was terrible to see. <br />
I've had two close friends battle with the big 'C' too - breast cancer which mestastasized and was terminal and Hodgkins Lymphoma which was a battle and he survived. There have bee families in our church that we knew very well who have been touched by the same, 2 sisters-in-law diagnosed within a week of one another, both survived. A little 3 year old boy who succumbed to devastating pneumonia just 3 weeks after the bone-marrow transplant for his leukemia.<br />
It is a horrible disease, with a harsh and devastating treatment regime. I wish your family well. I pray that your wife may recover some of her joie de vivre too. Thank you for sharing this story. X@

Glad to hear your wife is still with us. Cancer stinnks. Two years ago within eight months of one another my mother and brother both died from cancer. It was terrible to go through it all. We're lucky to have another day.

Yes you are a survivor! And may i send many prayers your way. I loss my grandmother to acute cancer. It was very painful to watch cancer take her life. But for your daughter sounds like shes a fighter like your wife, many hugs to all three of you!

GOD BLESS YOU AND I WILL PUT YOU ON MY PRAY LIST

I LOVE THIS HEARING OTHERS STORY I DO NOT FEEL SO BAD:I have cancer,carvanoma on my brain stem and had a stroke xmas day I can hardly walk... I went from a size 4 to 14 lost my best friend my father 01/16/2010 I do not get dressed or out of bed let alone shower. I have lost everything forced out of my job after 10 years and now losing my boyfriend. I have begged and borrowed to try to fill my bucket list which is small get married out back of my home pay all my co pays and meds get help to walk normal again......... and help to feeds me and my dogs ..... With what ever is left I feed my St Bernard and my golden....... I used to model now I look homeless what is there left to live for but, my granddaughter who loves me for me. I feel I will end up homeless and unable to walk I lost my insurance so the medicines I now need I can not afford so it is just time for me I have all the proof I am real......I fill this out every month with the hopes for help even a dollar would be help. I am not Haiti and not in Chili but, I am crying for a miracle ......I want to live but with out help I do not know how. I also have Rheumatoid Arthritis in both hands.<br />
I have begged and borrowed to stay alive please someone hear me<br />
<br />
Source: Cancer Centers, food banks..... Please guide me

I LOVE THIS HEARING OTHERS STORY I DO NOT FEEL SO BAD:I have cancer,carvanoma on my brain stem and had a stroke xmas day I can hardly walk... I went from a size 4 to 14 lost my best friend my father 01/16/2010 I do not get dressed or out of bed let alone shower. I have lost everything forced out of my job after 10 years and now losing my boyfriend. I have begged and borrowed to try to fill my bucket list which is small get married out back of my home pay all my co pays and meds get help to walk normal again......... and help to feeds me and my dogs ..... With what ever is left I feed my St Bernard and my golden....... I used to model now I look homeless what is there left to live for but, my granddaughter who loves me for me. I feel I will end up homeless and unable to walk I lost my insurance so the medicines I now need I can not afford so it is just time for me I have all the proof I am real......I fill this out every month with the hopes for help even a dollar would be help. I am not Haiti and not in Chili but, I am crying for a miracle ......I want to live but with out help I do not know how. I also have Rheumatoid Arthritis in both hands.<br />
I have begged and borrowed to stay alive please someone hear me<br />
<br />
Source: Cancer Centers, food banks..... Please guide me

Yes cancer is something no one wants to hear. Any one who has ever had cancer or helped taken care of someone is a true survivor.

I work in a "Breast Center" doing diagnostic imaging.<br />
I'm very sorry to read what you are dealing with. You are most definitely a survivor. <br />
Best wishes to your wife and daughter. Do either of them have access to a support group of some kind. This type of life experience is a bit easier if shared with others who can relate on a personal level.

It's something more people have to realize, even the ones who are diagnosed with cancer. The people around them are just as effected as they themselves, and I would consider anyone who knew someone with cancer a 'survivor' too. The impact is life-altering and forever on-going, but for those who survive it does give an insight into the idea that life itself is a gift, not a given right (as I spin off the touching words of Nickelback).

I do think you are a survivor, you went through it all too. Nothing separates our experiences from our loved ones' but the body, you were there too, and though not having cancer, you 'had cancer' in your family. Wonderful news on the survival rate for your two women, they made it...

YES! Alvin YOU qualify as a "big c" survivor! YOU are one of the faithful few who hung in there with his wife and you are still there! Chemo/radiation, surgery is NOT an easy thing to go through and all of that poison in your body, do change you. Just continue being supportive of your wife and try to keep the lines of communication open.<br />
<br />
I wish I could tell you that she'll forget about it one day, but that wouldn't be the truth. Once the "big c" happens to you....well it's always in the very back of MY mind! I will keep you and your family in my prayers! Take care, Phyllis FROG ~ Fully Rely On God!

Thank you for all your comments , it is good to know that people are there, and thinking of others. Once again thank you.

My heart goes out to you....Cancer is so ugly, so scary....and to have it hit two people you love...I know what you are going through....I've been there....not with breast cancer, but my oldest daughter, at age 22, was diagnosed with Hodgkin's lymphoma....After two years of treatments, scans, chemo, and a stem cell transplant, she is now cancer-free....but, what hell it is, waiting for that news, once you've received the C word....<br />
<br />
God brought me through, gave me peace....saw her to her healing....We've all changed, grown, cried, laughed....none of us will be the same, having gone through such a thing....it changes us forever.....I imagine that your wife does have it on her mind....even now....it's a woman's worst fear, and it came true for her....it forced her to look at her mortality, probably way before she was ready to, and your daughter, as well.....38 year olds should not have to worry about this....nor should 22 year olds....it''s not fair, and it's not the way things are supposed to play out.....This is why it's so hard for our minds to wrap around it....<br />
<br />
I pray for your family's health to be restored, and even better than before this dreadful disease reared it's ugly head...God bless you, and yours.

Hi Alvin,<br />
You've been through a lot! Cancer is a word no one wants to hear. It spreads its evil wings throughout the world. I'm a 7 year survivor of ovarian cancer. I don't think I've been quite the same either since going through my illness. No one likes to face their mortality, especially at a young age. It's such a horrific shock to hear those words. I know I'm a lot more pensive now and try to keep my thoughts to myself so as not to burden my loved ones. Maybe, Sue is doing the same thing. <br />
<br />
Now with the onset of your daughter's disease, you both will have a heavy burden to carry through your daughter's journey. You are not alone. It's quite simply the only comforting words to say.<br />
Through this time, you'll find the strength through the love and caring of those around you. We are all family. We are all brothers and sisters. <br />
<br />
To you and your family I wish peace of mind and courage in your fight against "The Nasty Critter"!