I Am a Caregiver
HI All, I have been looking for someone/something/someplace to be able to share and connect with others.
So 2 months ago my Grandma had a stroke while we were out for lunch, she all of a sudden could not write her own name - to sign for the bill at the restaurant. I knew something was up to I took her to the emergency department of the local hospital. After waiting for over 10 hours we finally saw a doctor and they all though it was a rapid onset of dementia. After many tests, including her first CT scan which did not show a stroke, it was finally determined that she had a stroke. She was hospitalized for one month and then discharged to the rehab hospital. During the hospitalization, both my father and my uncle were also hospitalized. Thankfully at the same hospital.... I just had to remember which floor i was on to determine who I was visiting. My uncle had a bacteria in his blood and is doing better now, my father just had a re-occurrence of his chronic pancreatitus, which I suspect was brought on by the stress of my grandma in the hospital and his drinking 'issue' ( Don't tell him he has an issue). He was hospitalized 6x last year. His hospitalizations are becoming old hat.
I am 30 years old and lived with my father up until Grandma was hospitalized. My mother (Grandma's only child), had a brain aneurysm and passed away 8 years ago. Since then, I have been dealing with my father alcoholism and abuse daily, well, until I moved here. Grandma needs assistance bathing and with meal prep and housekeeping but otherwise is doing amazingly well. Her memory is the sh*tz but that was the only real issue after the stroke. However, my father has decided to be a total control freak, and has hired help for her during the day as I work. This seemingly nice gesture has become a point of contention. I asked the hired help to start earlier in the day, as I work at 7 am and this started world war 3.
I apparently am not allowed to change her hours without running it by HIM. I work shift work and on weekends occasionally, but he will not help out and watch her when I need assistance for my own doctors appointments etc. or on weekends when the caregiver works another job. He does not want the hassle. I have given up my freedom and my life to assist my grandma and HE will not lift a finger to assist me. Last night he called me to berate me and tell me " SEE I TOLD YOU IT WAS HARD, YOU THINK YOU CAN DO EVERYTHING,BUT YOU CANT, CAN YOU?" and then asked me if I am thankful he hired help.( which i might add, was done without any consultation with anyone).
Being a caregiver, is already hard, I am mourning the loss of my own freedom and the loss of my grandmothers ability to take care of herself. ( she is not quite the same person she was....) I am going through quite a rough time dealing with the changes in my life. BUT HE IS MAKING MY LIFE IMPOSSIBLE. I just want to crawl under a rock and die. This is fatherly love??????
So 2 months ago my Grandma had a stroke while we were out for lunch, she all of a sudden could not write her own name - to sign for the bill at the restaurant. I knew something was up to I took her to the emergency department of the local hospital. After waiting for over 10 hours we finally saw a doctor and they all though it was a rapid onset of dementia. After many tests, including her first CT scan which did not show a stroke, it was finally determined that she had a stroke. She was hospitalized for one month and then discharged to the rehab hospital. During the hospitalization, both my father and my uncle were also hospitalized. Thankfully at the same hospital.... I just had to remember which floor i was on to determine who I was visiting. My uncle had a bacteria in his blood and is doing better now, my father just had a re-occurrence of his chronic pancreatitus, which I suspect was brought on by the stress of my grandma in the hospital and his drinking 'issue' ( Don't tell him he has an issue). He was hospitalized 6x last year. His hospitalizations are becoming old hat.
I am 30 years old and lived with my father up until Grandma was hospitalized. My mother (Grandma's only child), had a brain aneurysm and passed away 8 years ago. Since then, I have been dealing with my father alcoholism and abuse daily, well, until I moved here. Grandma needs assistance bathing and with meal prep and housekeeping but otherwise is doing amazingly well. Her memory is the sh*tz but that was the only real issue after the stroke. However, my father has decided to be a total control freak, and has hired help for her during the day as I work. This seemingly nice gesture has become a point of contention. I asked the hired help to start earlier in the day, as I work at 7 am and this started world war 3.
I apparently am not allowed to change her hours without running it by HIM. I work shift work and on weekends occasionally, but he will not help out and watch her when I need assistance for my own doctors appointments etc. or on weekends when the caregiver works another job. He does not want the hassle. I have given up my freedom and my life to assist my grandma and HE will not lift a finger to assist me. Last night he called me to berate me and tell me " SEE I TOLD YOU IT WAS HARD, YOU THINK YOU CAN DO EVERYTHING,BUT YOU CANT, CAN YOU?" and then asked me if I am thankful he hired help.( which i might add, was done without any consultation with anyone).
Being a caregiver, is already hard, I am mourning the loss of my own freedom and the loss of my grandmothers ability to take care of herself. ( she is not quite the same person she was....) I am going through quite a rough time dealing with the changes in my life. BUT HE IS MAKING MY LIFE IMPOSSIBLE. I just want to crawl under a rock and die. This is fatherly love??????
By:
phishprincess
Age:
26-30
,
Female
