An Open Letter to the Man Who Cheated On Me

T o a man who broke my heart:

The man I loved, you may never read this, but I need you to know that I am GRATEFUL in a profound way for the gift of freedom you have given to me.

It felt life my world had collapsed when I found out that you had cheated. Who had I loved all these years? Who had I shared my bed with? Was it all a hoax? I felt more lost, more confused, more sick than I had ever felt before. Because I had truly loved you; and you could not find it in your heart to trust me on any base level. With your emotions, with your heart, with your reason, and just let me go when I first sensed things were wrong.

But you know what? I'm better now. Better than I could have imagined! I couldn't love myself or anyone else fully while I felt so much despair, hurt, anger, and pain. I can feel the WHOLE WORLD! and smile and be grateful for every second I'm in it!

And I have you to thank for that! Because you were selfish. Isn't that odd? I actually laugh when I think about it myself, and it may never make sense to you but it means the world to me.
So thank you for being so blindly selfish.

After that lowest moment, I realized that it really couldn't have gotten any worse, and I never would want to hurt myself or anyone else the way you have hurt me. I know that I loved you to the best of my abilities, and I'm sorry you couldn't see that for yourself.

What I'm more sorry for is the fact that whatever hang-ups we may have had together, you could not come to me, so we could get over them together. Because now, the love I experience on all levels, is INCREDIBLE and much much more then anything I could have ever imagined having with you.

So thank you for that push into reality. The real world is a wonderful place once you open your eyes to it, and the people you meet are so beautiful I thank God everyday for the chance to care for them, and the fact they care back.

I hope that someday you let yourself truly feel love, deep abiding love, and not the superficial stuff you have been content with all these years. I pray that you don't come to notice it the same way I did.

I'm not sure if I love you the way I once did, that is complicated; but I know that I can forgive you, because love, real love took the hurt away.And please know that I've moved on.
Kixx Kixx
22-25, F
5 Responses Jan 27, 2008

this is what i am going through,except the ending part is though he cheated on me and i left him and i am married three years to a wonderful man,i cant stop thinking of him,i miss him everyday.i want to move on and cherish our beautiful memories.but i am finding it so hard to let go.i forgave him long time but i am still in love with him.

Reading this makes me feel awful for what I have done. Sigh. I'm just a terrible person. I'm glad you can move on though.

It gives me peace actually to read your letter. I think i've been in your shoes..and every time i felt that surge of unbearable restlessness..i would start crying and hyper-ventilating. the only thing i found that soothed me any was when i started telling myself to forgive him and let it go. it really felt like i was freeing and forgiving myself. that was the only way i could let myself move on.<br />
i must admit i havent found it inside me to be able to forgive him completely...and i respect u for being able to do that.

This is so wonderful to read, I remember reading your first, and then your second story here, and the huge transition that happened between the two; the revolution in the way you saw things.<br />
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And now, this is again a big step, and something even more marvellous! Who would have thought that not so many months ago, this would have been how things panned out?<br />
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I am very happy for you, not only for the new, mature and deep love that you have found, but also for the generosity and forgiveness that seems to be the hallmark of honest love. Love that grows and gives beyond the confines of the people that it first blossomed between. <br />
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Best of happiness, and luck for the future! :)

Its great that someone can vent their feelings thoughout letters and not resort to tire-slashing or sabotage. Not that he doesnt deserve it.