I Seriously Regret ItI know people will say, if i regret it then why'd you do it and you cant blame it on alcohol because it was me, all me, I know! It is a disgrace.
I hate myself for it so much, i planned on telling him but I didn't even get the chance to. Someone else beat me to it and he wont tell me who it is.
So i was in the next town with my friend Vickey and we were camping with a load of people and someone was taking pictures and this guy Moe came and put his arm round my waist and tried to get a picture with me but the person who was taking them walked away. Then we were talking our heads got really close and he asked me to sleep in his tent with him and i said yeah, which is so bad :s but i didnt anyway because he had to go because his mum made him go home. So when our heads were close together he leaned in to kiss me so i kissed him back and then i seen a flash in the corner of my eye sort of and stopped and ran over to vickey.
Then kyle and Corey said they were going down into the town from the campsite so i went with them and kyle tried to get me to give corey a blow job but i kept saying no. but then i did end up kissing corey and i touched his penis and he tried to finger me but didnt really happen because we were at like the side of the road. we were drunk so we didnt really care much. That night I slept beside him in the tent.
The next day we had to go into belfast to get home to go back to my hometown. When Vickey and I got there i said to Ryan, my ex, but we were going out at the time, to come into town but he went back to sleep i rung his home and all but he wouldnt come in so i had to wait another hour and half for the next bus back. I was going to tell him that day when he came in but he never did :s
We were fine that night, but i felt soo guilty for it :( i didnt want to tell him over text i thought that would be the wrong way to go about it. But the next morning he texted me and said he knew and i made a never worse mistake by saying 'one question, who told you' i handled it wrong and he doesn't let me forget it. and i never will. i lost him that day and it bloody kills me. i wish i could turn back time and never even go to the camp out. i wish i didnt hurt him.
ive hated myself so much because of it, i just want him back. he is the only person i can truely be myself around, i dont have to pretend or put on an act.. i was happy to be in his company even if it was just an hour, i appreciated every second and really it doesnt look that way but i did and still do..
i love you..