A Week! :l Xmas Shopping

Probably one of the worst weeks of my simple life.. Couldn't come out of the house, apart from visit at my doctors, couldn't go to work, I have vomited so many times my body is so dehydrated that my face got wrinkles.. But beside that, it's getting slightly better. Another 7 weeks to go and ill prob relax more about the whole thing. I still feel at times like its gonna come out, or at other times like it never happened, this is when I get sick, when I realise that it actually did happen, and I get so nervouse all over again. I don't really remember that night very well, I just don't want to think about it, and hope that over time I ll forget the details, and won't be able to think about it anymore. But for now I just don't think about what happened that night. I don't know if that makes any sense but it does in my head. Cause when you don't think of something you forget it right? hopefully.. my first day was so bad I am just getting flash backs nearly week after, cause my first day after the accident felt so fake, like I was living someone else's life, and just looking at it from beside. We did Christmas shopping on the very first day after cheating accident. So you can just imagine how bad it felt looking at all the happy couples! holding hands! with their kids! or dogs! smiles! and looking at him and thinking WHAT HAVE I DONE?
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26-30
1 Response Dec 7, 2012

I stumbled on your post...We all make mistakes, some larger than others. The fact that you feel intense guilt speaks of your character. Do the best to live a day at a time and the longer you go the eaisier it will get. In time it will get better, I promise. Learn from your mistakes though and don't forget the ramifications of your actions. Lastly, nobody is perfect and we all deserve forgiveness.