Backsliding

When I notice that I'm depressed (again), I'm resolved to the fact it won't last this bad for too long. I'll soon drift out of the slump and into something else. When I'm feeling OK about myself, I'm resolved to the fact it will change once I wake up. Not knowing if I'm chronically depressed or manic makes me wonder what normal feelings and emotions normal people feel normally.
Was it my affect that caused other people to abuse me or was it the abuse that spawned my affect? Is my self doubt just a pity party? Is my lack of motivation the result of being an under achiever or am I just lazy. Did I ever enjoy sex when the bedroom Olympics was a regular practice? What should I do with my gold medals? Were my sexual fantasies the fruit of a genius or a pervert? Is it wrong that I never was, or ever strive to be master of my own domain? 8-) ..... You be the judge. (I wish)
Bonocular Bonocular
56-60, M
Jul 30, 2010