My SecretIt all started when I was four and it continued until I was ten years old. I was sexually abused and molested by my cousins and a house-help. It may be 16 years later from when it all started but it still haunts me. I find myself scared and afraid to do anything because the thought of others knowing extremely freaks me out. If anyone knows, they will treat me differently. It is due to this reason that I haven't told anyone I know apart from a few who judged me for who I am and what happened. Even my own mother brushed it off as just another child hood occurence.
I need healing from all these but I don't know how to finally find peace of mind, body and soul.
I may be a survivor but I still feel as though I missed out so many things in my childhood. I feel as though I grew up and matured too fast to understand what happened to me.
At some point I cannot imagine myself going beyond the abuse. I feel trapped and lost.
I have lost the will to live and be possibility of being happy is non-existent.