Two People Took My Childhood Away

Two different people who are supposed to care love and protect me took away my chance to have shildhood that was not complicated.  when I was four my father sexually molested me. My parents were divorced at the time and I was visiting with my father when it happened. Over the years I learned to block it out and try to have some kind of relationship with my father. However we could never have one becasue even though i blocked it out it was still there. After it happened all i wanted to was to be someones little girl but it didnt happen. Then for eight years a person very close to me took the reamining childhood i had left away by repeatedly "practicing" how to have sex on me. I actually just started talking about this second person and acknowledging the effect it has had on me. I am more open with talking about what my father did but this second person i have only told a few people. the first person i told was a friend who went through something simliar. I tried to tell my mother but she just acted like i never told her anything, it hurt that she was not outraged by it since it was someone in the family. She just brushed it off like nothing ever happened, like she would rather think i have a good childhood instead of one of disgust and self-loathing. It took two more years before i told another person and that was because i was really drunk and thought i could trust them. But once again that person acted like I never said anything, in fact we stopped talking a month later. I just wish someone to care that this has happened, that a childhood was stolen, and a woman is now emotionally damaged.
twhisper twhisper
22-25, F
4 Responses Aug 2, 2010

very painful story.......sorry, sorry for you.....nothing else i can do, being 1000 miles away..

I know that I'm not to blame but I'm very sorry that you had to go through that as a young child. And even as an adult still go through people acting like it never happened. I hope that in time you will find the peace and love that you need to get through this. If you ever need anyone to talk to you know that I'll lend and ear and not act that things never happened. As for those people they are not worth your time nor the pain they caused.

so much goes on accross the world. Its all the same here in the UK. People brush this abuse under the carpet and tend to blame those being abused.<br />
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I was abused by my best friends father, this to was over a number of years.<br />
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Many years later when I was married (1st time) I told my wife she was so shocked and could not belive it and was hurt I had not said anything during our six years of marriage. We never did have sex again.<br />
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You do not ever get over such things but eventually come to terms with it.<br />
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I have become what I am through what happened. <br />
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Just remember you are the most important person in the world and enjoy life.<br />
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It takes time and times does heal or you get wiser and come to terms with life, I gant say that you will accept, I never can, that lost childhood and what I am today.

even tho i cant help i just wish u a veryyyy happyyyy lifeee just try to forget everythin i know its not easy but u have god with u n he will help u 1 thin i have to say NEVER TRUST ANYONE NOT EVEN YOUR PARENTS coz u can never know when they will use u..... :D