I Need Help/advice: Is This Child Neglect Or Abuse??? Please Read!

I am concerned that my 18 month old nephew has been/is being neglected or abused.  I recently saw a video on my brother-in-laws Facebook profile, of my nephew being pushed by his mother, on a small sit on push toy (you know the kind the kids pushes with their feet to scoot around on) toward a glass paned door and he hits his head against the glass door and immediately starts crying.  Again, the mother was the one pushing him toward the door.  Does this seem like neglegence or abuse to you?  Would CPS consider this to be abusive?  Would CPS investigate a case like this?  I was extremely shaken and upset when I watched it and immediately called my husband and told him about it.  He called his brother and told him that he shouldn't be putting stuff like that up on Facebook.  My brother in law said that it was an accident, that they don't see what was wrong with them uploading it onto Facebook, that they thought it was funny, that they were planning on sending it into America's Funniest Home Videos, and then asked my husband...."is that not okay? should we not do that?", said that the baby loved doing that and thinks it is fun, and that he usually puts his feet down to stop himself, and that was the only time that he didn't and just happened to hit the window.  In addition, there is a picture on my brother in laws Facebook profile from about 2 weeks ago, of the 18 months old's face, with a left black eye, a scrape on the left side of his nose, a cut on his brow on the left side, 2 bruses at the top left of his forehead, and another scrape.  My brother in law titled that picture "my son's first day of cagefighting".  Someone else commented on that picture saying "WTF - what the f*=k" and my brother in law responded "ha ha...what?".  In addition there is another picture from about a week ago of the 18 month old's face, with black stuff all around his mouth.  My brother in law titled that picture "We just can't seem to keep him out of the ashes in the fireplace"  My husband commented "um isn't that toxic or poisonious?" and my sister in law responded "I guess if you inhale it"  then my brother in law commented and said "ha ha, no it's not ashes, its burnt bacon! He likes his bacon burnt?" My husband and myself have both told them that we didn't think that what they are doing is funny or okay, and they have continued to justify their behavior.  In the process, my brother in law, his wife, and my mother in law, have all retaliated against my husband and I, saying that we are implying that they are child abusers and bad parents.  They basically think that I am phycho for making any assumption and am trying to create drama in the family and tear it apart.  My husband is supporting me, but no one else in the family is, and are now directly attacking me (even though, none of them have actually seen the video)  My husband and I were the only ones who saw the video before they deleted it from Facebook.  I was smart enough to download the video prior to them deleting it, just in case.  I really need ya'lls advice!!!  I am stuck in a really bad position!  I seriously think what they did is wrong, and am concerned that they are continuing to justify it, will not speak with me or my husband about it, and I have no real way of knowing if they are still doing that to him (pushing him toward the glass door).  But at the same time, me taking a stand really hasn't brought any good, hasn't resolved anything, and is seriously impacting my current and future relationship with my own husband as well as the entire family!  So, I really wanted to get some outsiders advice on if this was abusive or not, and if it is worth me continuing to pursue at any cost (even if it means my marriage ends in divorce)  If they continue to justify, should I report them to CPS?  Thank you in advance for any advice!!!  I have been sick for days over this and am really wanting to resolve the issue!

 

btaylorb btaylorb
26-30, F
7 Responses Aug 3, 2010

Please report it...You have evidence and there are pictures which someone can find if they really want to. If the kid goes to daycare maybe ask the social worker to stop by and observe the child in that environment. Who knows but if you know and say what if you will never know the outcome and that child is the only one that will be hurt in the end. I wish I knew someone who could have stuck up for me when I was little. My mother is doing the same thing she did to me to my brothers. Now she is keeping my brothers out of school and not even homeschooling them either... I have contacted police officers and cps and they say if I dont know where she is at they can't do anything or there is not enough evidence. Just don't say WHAT IF just do it....

I am just reading this story today, the title grabbed my attention because of news yesterday about a parent killing 3 children. With so many kids growing up in unhealthy environments, it is good that more adults are calling each other on our dysfunctions. We need to be there for each other so that these unhealthy patterns of painful childhood = painful adulthood = children bred into painful childhood. <br />
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The dynamics of reporting suspected abuse by family members have got to be pretty intense, so I hope Irene and her husband were able to report anonymously.<br />
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How could that kind of humor be posted on FB without someone, at least one random "friend" not calling CPS? <br />
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From what I understand, CPS doesn't just take people's kids away. Also, you can Google "How to anonymously report child abuse" and find out exactly how to do that.

I think you need to report this NOW. This is child abuse. Sounds like my sucky childhood

Uh, being the child of an abusive parent there are a lot of things that could have caused the bruises. Before you jump the gun and go hogwild on this, ask yourself one question: What is your motivation for doing this? Bringing in CPS into a family dynamic is going to have dramatic effects with everyone involved, including the kids. The kids might be torn away from the parents, and if they find no evidence of abuse then you will be the parriah of the family. I would use alot of caution when involving a third party because not only is this going to effect the parents but the kids too.<br />
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Irene

OK,you do have genuine concerns here and on the face value so do I.<br />
As an ex Police Officer my suggestion to you would be to gather all the evidence you have,go into your local Police station and report this matter.The Police are then obliged to investigate your concerns.You have to be ready for the rebound of your actions by some of your family members having issues about this however the way you have portrayed these events I have serious concerns for the welfare of the child and that is what must come first.<br />
If the Police believe they have enough evidence to form a prosecution then the parents of the child would be arrested and a formal interview with each parent would take place.In any event affter receiving such a report it is the duty of the police to automatically refer this to Social Services.<br />
If the Police believe they have enough evidence the parents would be bailed on police bail whilst they prepare a file to be submitted to The Crown Prosecution Service who make a final decision whether there is enough evidence to prosecute.If the answer is yes the parents will be charged with the offences aand the matter will go to court.Now you know what will happen if you report the matter,the decision is yours.I would urge you to act if what you are telling us is the case,we do NOT want a child suffering.For your info you can not go directly to the CPS for advice,this is down to the Police to refer it to them.<br />
Please let me know your thoughts and the outcome,I am very concerned indeed,garvan.

THAT IS CHILD ABUSE!!!!!!!!!!YOU NEED TO DO SOMETHING!!!!!!!!!!!

Agree with yinandyangman. Take this information to a worker at Social Services and see what they recommend. They may decide to investigate and, best case, will clear them of any wrong doing. You might feel much better if someone from the outside takes a look in and declares it fine. <br />
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If they are abusing the child, it's so, so, important that someone intervenes.