Child Abuse In Indian Culture

I have a very similar story to trapt. I am 24 now and my father has always been abusive toward my mother and me. Actually I confronted him and my mother about it just yesterday. And he denies it all. He's denied holding a knife to my throat, denied pullin mr around by my hair. Denied choking me, denied whipping me. My mother explains it all away by saying that it was my fault for misbehaving. She has forgotten when he used to hit her, and do the same with me Cowering in the corner. I asked her straight why she stayed with him and proceeded to have two more children with this monster. She tld me it's her choice and none of my business. And she has been completely brainwashed by my father that he did the **** he did because I was a "problem child". I understand trapt's yearning for a normal pair of parents. I do too.
maggieroara maggieroara
22-25, F
11 Responses Aug 9, 2010

Hi, I'm also an Indian woman surviving child abuse. Sexual, emotional and verbal. Sexual abuse is taboo to talk about and dismissed as lies in our culture, but it happens<br />
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I'm happy that you got out and are able to live a life free from your abuser. I hope you're in counseling to heal and realize that what your parents said were not true, and that they had no right to do the things they did.<br />
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You can visit my blog for Indian survivors of abuse if I can help.<br />
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Hi PaneraBread, thanks alot for the link. After reading your posts on narcissistic mothers, I can confidently say my mother is one.
Recently I moved back home because i miss my sisters alot and the pressure my mother has been putting on me is burgeoning. My middle sister has now joined her in making cutting remarks about my weight, looks, apparent lack of a a career ( I am a freelance teacher and making good money but apparently thats not considered good enough)
Have really no idea on how to just shut her up... thats all i want, for her to shut up.
and oh ya... she wants me to marry some idiot from online as well... so our mothers have too much in common man.

And don't ever give up! when you bring your son/daughter home it will all seem worthwhile. Maybe the experience will make u treasure your child even more.

I really feel for you Zenny 123. You sound like you would make a fantastic dad. Am rooting for you to have kids! I know this is probably a naive question, have you thought about adoption? I have always planned to adopt, just waiting to meet the right partner in life.

Something that jumped out for me in this post, when you said about the yearning for normal parents. It is the injustice of the fact that some people come together in relationships that are unhealthy and they create children, without a thought a child arrives. <br />
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Others come together in relationships that are loving, open, supportive, insightful and would be an amazing family for a child to be born into, but they do not have a child. My partner and I have tried to become parents. We used a surrogate and there was a pregnancy that ended at 11 weeks. The surrogate backed out after the miscarriage. We have frozen embryos waiting for a life, but no way to make that happen. In Canada surrogacy laws are very different than the US. The first two attempts drained our funds and now we feel we are trapped and destined to be childless. <br />
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Just seems to me an injustice.

oh , and I am going to germany for my masters next year. saving up for that now!

I am much better now Zenny123, thanks for asking ;) and I am actively trying to move forward. I am recognizing that alot of my personality traits can be attributed to having being born into such a situation. I am afraid of forming friendships and romantic relationships and I have a hard time trusting people. But I am trying to learn and change. But I am also so much more independent and hardworking and resilient than I would have been otherwise.

sorry abuse know no boundlys it is in all areas

Hi<br />
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I am glad that you got to move out. How are things now for you?

EP has been very good for me. My friends say I am starting to sound and look better. I come from a traditional Indian family and they dont believe its okay for women to live on their own. But something big happened today. I am moving out tomorrow. It feels cathartic. I finally feel free of all the negativity.

hello, welcome to EP, i wouldnt worry too much about being judged on here, yes it happens, but its very rare and the people who do it can be dealt with... most people who approach you will be like you<br />
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I dont know much about abuse, but i understand your pain, you dont deserve any of that, i cant seem to comprehend why parents do that, its their own responsibility to love and keep you safe, no offence but i think yours are just complete cowards, and are you still living at home with them?

This is my first post. I have typed out my story many times and not posted it for fear of being judged by people. But I find on the other posts that I might not be the only one.