My Problem.

I cant say that all I want is for someone to listen. Because believe me there are always ears there to listen. Its more or less that I am afraid of having to re-live the past, even just for that brief moment of explaining. The simplest things can trigger a flash back for me. Most things I try to avoid, some you just cant. Ive gone to a psychologist. I have been diagnosed with severe post traumatic stress disorder, manic depression and borderline bi-polar and anxiety/panic. I was told that I would begin a treatment called Dialectical Behavior Therapy. Which would be a drug and therapy treatment. The part that scares me is that after looking up what the treatment was and what it was about, I read that it includes a almost "deep cleansing". Digging deep into the things that make you feel ashamed or feel how you do and forcing yourself to cope with them. I am terrified of reliving these things and furthermore having to tell them to an absolute stranger who gets paid to listen to the pain I was forced to live with for my whole childhood. I am asking my mom to go with me because the first time when i was originally diagnosed and i stared googleing what it was i got scared and never went back. this time i wanna let it work for me, give it my all. I am just so scared. my anxiety goes crazy just at the thought. Any support or words of encouragement are greatly welcomed. I can use all the help i can get to do this. Thanks
Exxotiica Exxotiica
26-30, F
1 Response May 6, 2012

DBT isn't really about digging into stuff, it's about better managing what you do in the here and now when stuff comes up.<br />
That's what I like about it, it teaches you to self-regulate emotions in a healthy way...so instead of flipping out, you're like "Ok, I can do this, this and this."<br />
<br />
http://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Skills-Workbook/dp/1572245131/ref=sr_1_fkmr1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1305212548&sr=1-1-fkmr1<br />
I own this; totally worth the $13 plus shipping.<br />
<br />
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Complex_post-traumatic_stress_disorder<br />
Note the above concept hasn't made it into the US's official diagnostic manuals yet, but I find it encapsulates most of the issues I have fairly neatly.<br />
From the wikipedia entry:<br />
..."PTSD desc<x>riptions fail to capture some of the core characteristics of C-PTSD. These elements include captivity, psychological fragmentation, the loss of a sense of safety, trust, and self-worth, as well as the tendency to be revictimized, and, most importantly, the loss of a coherent sense of self. It is this loss of a coherent sense of self, and the ensuing symptom profile, that most pointedly differentiates C-PTSD from PTSD.[9]"...