Here We Go Again..

As I stated in my previous story my fathers rage seemed to grow as I got older.There were alot of mornings that I would wake up to him stomping towards my room.The door would fly open and a steeled toed work boot would fly in and hit me in the face at 4 in the morning.That would evolve into a grown man jumping on me and punching me in the head for no reason.But he would often tell me why i deserved it which included,you left a wet towl on the floor,you didn't pull all the weeds in the yard,you didn't do it exactly like I told you to.Most of the time it was just my fault,no reason ,or something that my older sister did that i paid for.I stayed tired,afraid to sleep,not able to ever get enough sleep,which now i know was depression,some PTSD,etc...But as my mind would wonder I found myself asking why God would put me with the wrong family,i didn't fit in with these people at all.When a child around the age of 9 and up is preying every night for death because he's too tired to carry on be continued-Have any of you ever read "The Whipping Boy"by Sid Fleischman?,check it out if any of this seems familiar to you.
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2 Responses May 17, 2012

Life is a test. The strong will survive and the weak will do suicide. Say: "I CAN DO THIS." Because you can. Nothing is impossible by God.

Sorry for what happened to you. I was fortunate to have good parents. They were just too distracted by work and the farm and you know life. I was the youngest and became the plaything for two of my cousins. I remember feeling a big hole in my stomach when the bus would pull up to the hose to drop me off from school. My pareents had no idea what would happen to me when they would tell me to go play with my cousins. I was about 8 and tried to say no once and my daddy got onto me for not doing what my mom had said. I would find things to do outside and try and stay away from them but we always had a big family supper when they were here. When it was time to get up from the table they would always say lets go play hide and seek. My parents would tell me to go on and play. They would also tell me that I could stay up later than I usually would. I always wondered how could they have not known what they were doing. Heck sometimes it would be right ouside the door, just out of the light from the porch. I am not like a lot of the people on here. I remember just about everything they ever did. My parents just kept telling me to go play with them and mind them because they were older. My daddy raised us to aalways mind your parents so I did. It went on about every 5th weekend for about 6 years. It got to be where I was a willing participant. It is crazy what a person will do when they think they don't have a choice. It all stopped when I left home and joined the service. 32 years later and I still wonder why they didn't watch over me better and not let that stuff happen.