A Very Dear Friend

Sometimes the pain is to hard to bare and better left in the dark..When she is ready she will let you know..

broker

I have a friend that has this very thing going in her life. she had times where she had flash backs, she had to get help with it. she found all of her choices in life spun off the hurt and allowed others to hurt her. she went on to marry had wonderful twins. but when she began to look at her life she had chosen because of circumstance. she loved her husband beyond belief but he was not supporting or understanding he has caused more harm than good. she now has been in therapy for several years, she is getting stronger but what she found as she gets stronger the marriage is crumbling. As long as he had control and could manipulate her he was happy now that she is taking back her power he is abusive even physical.

I am not meaning to toot my own horn here but I have supported her thru a lot of this. my best advise is let her feel, let her talk, always state truth with out being abusive, coming from where I have is the only reason she allowed me a walk with her no other could have done it. For she felt and knew from which I came, I found being totally honest with her no matter how it hurt was the best way to deal with her. My coming from a woman’s stand point offered no threat of course. But if you care as much as I see here don’t cross lines into intimacy with her and the past. spend time with her, always have a phone open to her and encourage her to get therapy. your goal is much different than mine but in respect to the love of a person to support not so different. But know she will have to want it and if she has no stressor in her life it may never be a prospect she would ever want to visit. It may be she set her life in such a structure that purposely closed off any deviation to hurt her. Just wondering did she ever get to face the person and say I know you did this. my friend did and her abuser father denied it which spun her into facing it even more. This person having kids of her own held them extremely close and did not let any one near them. Which I see as hurting their moving forward. There is times when she approaches a issue with me I kind us a two by four. She is approaching pushing her sons to who she thinks they should marry. They are not even interested but she is already trying to influence whom and type. Your support is all you can offer she has to be willing to take that step some don’t want to be hurt so understand that when offering your friendship or more.

Good luck I hope she can get past it everyone deserves real love.

Thank You, I can witness the result of the devastation that it caused. I do understand the hurt, I understand the deep hurt that won't go away. Try as I have,however, I can not make it any better, but just as does she, I can't let it go, I cannot just let it lie, I will never forget that very special person who harbors her own personal pain, and who will never again allow anyone close.

Yeah. You nailed it.

:( I'm sorry she cant get past it enough to connect with you...not that it ever really goes away.