Invisible GripFor my entire life youve had control of me and my emotions,
You were the cause of most of my darkest moments.
Youve controlled my anger and my rage,
youve kept my confined to this imaginary cage.
I spent my childhood looking for the key to unlock that cage door,
Hoping that it wasnt all there was to life; knowing that there had to be more.
You controlled my life and everyone in it,
For that I resented you every minute.
Now that I am all grown up I have the choice to be free,
Away from you and your inflicted misery.
I sit miles from home and yet I still see your face.
You visit me in my dreams, nice enough to pop into whats supposed to be a quiet and safe place.
I am not dreaming for the future and the success to come,
but the past and all the things Ive had to overcome.
Mom left you.
We rewrite the next chapter and leave the villian behind,
We soon realise that it isnt as easy as out of sight and out of mind.
Because we still relive those memories,
With a raised voice we flinch, with an angered threat we hear a promise and prepare for the worst; hoping this time it will be fast.
They say the past is the past.
Then why does my past haunt the present and provide fear for my future? If only my wounds could be fixed with a bandage and a suture.
Instead, I find a head on battle with pain and heart aching memories,
I find therapy and pill remedies.
Still looking for the strength to break free,
and get out of the invisible grip you still hold on me.