Child Abuse, Sexual Abuse And Mental Abuse

I was abused by a step-father from the age of seven to eleven. I was told everyday that if I told anyone that I would be killed. For five years I dealt with the physical abuse, mental torture and abuse. He would beat me and laugh at me. He found out I was afraid of mice and he tortured me by making me hold a mouse in a jar for an hour while it jumped up and bit my hand. He laughed at me while this happened. On a daily basis he would stick his finger in his anus and rub it across my top lip and tell me that I would never be more than the sh*t on my face. I lost most of my memory during this five years. I can only remember the worst times and some good times. I have been to therapy several times, but just found a good therapist three years ago that helped me find my voice again. For the first time in twenty-four years, I was able to tell my Mom and Husband the details of what happened to me. I sat waiting for him to come and kill me. When he didn't, I started to tell more people. I also told them about the sexual abuse as a child by a family member, sexual abuse as a teen by many people in my life. I now have PTSD and OCD due to the abuse. I recently decided that I could use my voice to try and help other people. If I could help one person not feel alone, or find a way out of abuse, then it was worth it. I am not the author of two books on amazon. My first book "Call Me Crazy, But This Is My Life!", is the story of my abuse and how I survived it through humor. The second book, "Bound By Torment", is the story of living with PTSD and OCD after the abuse. How the bruises fade by the torment remains. I am on a mission to do all I can and to continue finding my voice and releasing my inner child.
Brokenlikeaturtleshell Brokenlikeaturtleshell
36-40, F
2 Responses Sep 7, 2012

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I too suffered much traumatic abuse as a child and in my teen years. I am glad that you are being brave enough to speak up, for the sting of the power of the abuse stays in the silence. It is when we speak that the pain looses it's power for both other victims and for you. Thank you!

Thank you. It took me so long to finally tell someone. I have found that the more I tell, the more free I feel. It has been very liberating. Also in writing my books, I had two women come to me with their stories that had never been told, and also a sixteen year old girl that decided to go to college for social work because of my book. That made it worth all the hard days of writing and being scared to publish. I am very glad I did it. I am sorry that you suffered from abuse also. I hope you were able to find some relief yourself. Thank you for writing :)

I just wish that you could get some justice from such a horrible man.I also had a horrible step dad and although he did not sexually abuse me he tormented my daily.He was a tyrant and of a man and would threaten and physically harm myself and siblings and my mom.I hope you can heal from such a horrible ordeal.Thanks for sharing your story.

Justice was served, but not before more kids were harmed unfortunately. We tried to send him to jail for what he did to me and the abuse to my Mom too, but he did not go. After sexually abusing some kids, he was sentenced to life in prison without the possibility of parole. I am glad that he will never hurt anyone else again. I am sorry that you also went through this kind of abuse. Thank you for writing to me.