I Fell In Love With My Uncle Who Abused Me From The Age Of 6...

Ive been frantically searching for groups that relate with "I was sexually abused by my uncle but felt like I was in love with him".

I'm 23 now, my uncle started sexually abusing me when I was 6...he was 12..It went on for 17 years. I have recently told the police about it this year.

It all started when we were playing 'mummy ∧ daddy' in my nans room...he, my 2 sisters and myself were all in my nans bed, pretending to be asleep and he touched me over my knickers...It started from then on. Everytime I stayed at there house. He would sneak into the spare room where I slept, i would squeeze my eyes shut and he would whisper "squeeze once for yes, and twice for no" and I would lay as still as I could...he would stick his fingers inside me and force his penis in my mouth...he would even perform oral on me. I must have been about 8 at this time.
As the years went by he had girlfriends and it would sometimes go months without him touching me...but it would never be long until he was at it again. He would stay at my house alot as my mother is his sister, and she would treat him more like a son as he is nearer to my age than hers, there is only 6 years between him and I. Throughout all of this my mother had a breakdown and tried to take her own life for multiple reasons, she and my dad split, we also had to run away and one point and change our names as her boyfriend at the time threatened to kill us, it was all very much a ****** time.

When I was 13, he was 19, my best friend came to stay round, she was 14. I heard him have sex with her. me and her never spoke again. He later claimed the he had thought it was me. When I turned 15 he said he was in love with me and that we should be together...he had brainwashed me from such a young age that I went with it...i figured that if he didnt love me then he wouldnt have done all this...he convinced me that we were "born into the wrong family"...we had an incestial relationship until I was 18/19. One day we had an argument so he got my current best friends number off my phone, met up with her, started a relationship and accidently got her pregnant. He then cheated on her with his current girlfriend. When he got with my bestfriend I decided i couldnt deal with it so I moved away and started university, I wanted a fresh start. My mother had moved away a few month earlier as she had found a letter from me to him, she assumed that we were commiting in ce st but that it had happened only once. So she moved far away as she felt betrayed by us both. During the time I was away for three years he and his current girlfriend had had a little girl and a little boy, he never bothered with the son that my best friend had.

He tried his best to keep me and his girlfriend apart as he didnt want us intergrating. But when he and her split up (for the 1,000,000th time!!!) her and I started socialising.
She told me one night that their little girl (who is 3) said that her "nooni hurt" (vagina), her mum asked her why and she replied "because daddy touches it". This was enough to make me tell my mother the truth. That it wasnt 1 time. Its been hundreds of times over 17 years. and he made me thing we were IN LOVE! I was also told that his mother found him in bed with one of my cousins cuddling! (shes 13)...and that he also takes his girlfriends older daughter for drives (shes 14), that is what he used to do with me, he would drive me to a secluded area and then have sex with me. Had I not been told about the other children I would hve taken this to the grave.

That is why Im urging people to SPEAK OUT!

Think back to when you were 13, 14....you would have not come forward...YOU DIDNT COME FORWARD AND NEITHER DID I! If the police wouldve asked me at the time I thought he and I were "In love" I would have denied denied denied to protect him. This is what they want you to do! Oh and of course he and his girlfriend are back together, she claims i am "sick" and "twisted" branding me a liar. stating that their little girl is a liar for saying that he touched her... and the disgusting thing is, his girlfriend was also sexually abused by her stepfather when she was young and my uncle said it was her mothers fault for not spotting it! IT SICK!

I am very much in the early stages of all of this, the police are still putting together my file. And I wont lie, it is tough, its hard as hell some days. Especially all the mixed emotons, having to deal with the fact that it WAS NOT LOVE, it was abuse. cold hard, abuse. he mutilated my mind into thinking we BOTH wanted this. I was just part of his sordid sex addiction. Its hard knowing it was all a lie. I never spoke out when I was young (6,7,8) because I didnt know it was wrong. I didnt speak out when I was 9, 10, 11, 12 because I thought people would think I was making it up for attention ("Oh her mothers having a breakdown, her parents have split, shes one of four, she wants attention") He was popular, I had no chance. But now I do. Im not only speaking up for those children, but for myself. The time for justice is now. I can do this. I WILL DO THIS!

So, if you dont speak out for yourself, then speak out for your CHILDREN! Show them, through actions, that they never have to be afraid. And if you dont speak out for them, then speak out for 6 year old YOU, its not to late to reclaim your freedom.
Lori89 Lori89
26-30, F
6 Responses Nov 28, 2012

I was abused by my uncle from 5 years old. I though i liked it but later realised it was wrong.

How long did your abuse last?
Hope you're okay xxx

Lori89, I'm so sorry you had to go through this experience.<br />
People who haven't experienced anything like this sometimes find it hard to understand how you "let" these things happen, without telling anybody about it. <br />
When I was 11 I met my mom's half-brother, who was 17. By the time I was 12, he had begun flirting with me when nobody was watching. He would tell me he felt as though I'm "like a friend" to him, as opposed to a niece. But the catch was it all boiled down to me with him... He would blame me for insinuating a sexual relationship with him by the "looks" I would give him. This wasn't true, but I never told anybody because I liked the attention, but mostly he cleverly had me into thinking that I'm the dirty one and that everything going on between us was my fault. <br />
Until I was about 15, my uncle would climb into bed with me and touch my legs or stomach. Aside from kissing me in my bed one night when I was 14, nothing physical actually happened. Instead, my uncle would tell me to "go to him wgen I'd be 17".<br />
Well by the time I was 17 I fully understood that all the years of him driving me crazy was NOT my fault, and I decided to stop talking to him. Eventually my Mom started to notice me leave any time he'd come over and she demanded I tell her what was going on. <br />
Now we live our separate lives, as he moved away to start a new life (my family doesn't welcome him anymore either).

I hope you're okay xxxx

Hug's, thanks for sharing, hard but it should come out.
For you to heal and regain the rest of your life.
Try to use this to protect and help others.
The adults in your life probably were abused some time in their life.
I had this happen to me and have heard many stories over the years.
You are correct education of abuse is the strong weapon against this.
Cheers

Thank you xxx

Sorry this all happened. Great that your speaking out & going to the police. Your not weird :)

Thank you :)

Well...convincing you you were in love was a very convenient brainwash. Abusers tell victims: you like this, you want this...and little kids depend on other people to define reality for them.
So it works.

this is wierd u r weird too

And You are a narrow minded individual. Do you think I asked for this? No. keep your havent-got-a-clue oppinions to yourself.