Abused,broken.

i was nine,my life was normal, I had a loving parents, a 16 year old protective brother and a playful 14 year brother.Everything was well, I was happy as Larry. My life was so simple going to school coming home, no bitching at school, just playing horse's or what not.Well I don't know how to start this sentence I have blocked a lot of memories out of my head. My 14 year old brother was getting to the point were he started exploring his body. Next thing I remember I was in the loft playing cars and he asked if I wanted a "special massage" of I said yes I was nine I didn't know what was going to happen.He started touching me. Everywhere.I didn't know what was going on but I felt,SICK. He started to undress me play with my body, play and touch parts of my body which he shouldn't. This continued and as I got older I started to understand how wrong it was, and I just felt sicker and sicker every time.At one stage he tried to put his **** in my mouth but I just TURNED and TURNED the worst memory of my life. I don't think I lasted one week without crying myself asleep alone with the secret, I didn't know how to tell me mum, i couldn't tell my dad he would kill him and my brother would have no life that would be evil of me and I am a better person than that. Now I am 13 years old, unhappy with everything, i got the courage to write a letter, telling my mum the basic facts about what happened to me. I gave her the letter and went out the door as fast as I could before I saw her face as her read it. Got to school broke down in front of on of my friends worried. I was in class my mum rang up the school and send I had a "doctors appointment ". well of course i didn't she just wanted to talk to me I no that. As soon I as I saw her I burst out crying we left the school as soon as possible before they expected anything. Silence in the car, we pulled up mum told me to get dressed then come tell her everything and then I had to decide what to do. I told her every detail. My brother came home early, I walked the dog while my mum talk to my brother i cam home worried as ****. He admitted it all we didn't expect that. My mum give him the letter i wrote and mum said his face dropped. mum said my words made it come out i did it. she was so proud. my mum had ago at him of course. I came in the room i didn't want to speak to him, i just listened to what he had to say. he gave me a deep apology and then he said he tried to kill himself he was so ashamed. We told my other brother which is 21 now and he wouldn't stop hugging me and crying.<3 My other brother now isn't aloud to be in the same room as me or talk to me . As if he will keep that up.
secretlifeofbees secretlifeofbees
13-15
2 Responses Dec 1, 2012

I am 32 and my past still haunts me. Fortunately i married a man who is very supportive. When we got married, he was adamant about not allowing my “uncle” to be at my wedding. Not that I wanted him to be there, but my family was going to push the issue about my whole family attending. My husband stepped up and banned anyone who’d dare suggest it. My husband and I have gone through some tough times, but I would forever be grateful for that. There are times when intimacy is tough for me. The flash backs are very strong, but he understands. I am sure it is hard for him to deal with at times but he does his best. I believe the fact that we talked about this before we began dating, helped. When we met, we had some very serious conversations about our personal life. He listened and was genuine concerned before we dated. I always felt like he was on my team. i’m sure that you will find someone that loves and understands your past. Just be honest. It doesn’t have to be the first thing you say, but a good friend will listen and care. I hope this helps. Sorry for the rambling. Talk to you soon.

I am 32 and my past still haunts me. Fortunately i married a man who is very supportive. When we got married, he was adamant about not allowing my “uncle” to be at my wedding. Not that I wanted him to be there, but my family was going to push the issue about my whole family attending. My husband stepped up and banned anyone who’d dare suggest it. My husband and I have gone through some tough times, but I would forever be grateful for that. There are times when intimacy is tough for me. The flash backs are very strong, but he understands. I am sure it is hard for him to deal with at times but he does his best. I believe the fact that we talked about this before we began dating, helped. When we met, we had some very serious conversations about our personal life. He listened and was genuine concerned before we dated. I always felt like he was on my team. i’m sure that you will find someone that loves and understands your past. Just be honest. It doesn’t have to be the first thing you say, but a good friend will listen and care. I hope this helps. Sorry for the rambling. Talk to you soon.