Always SilencedI am typing this from a smart phone, since I do not own a computer so I ask you bare with me concerning any typos.
My father was abusive in every way but sexually. He was n alcoholic and addicted to different drugs at different times throughout my.childhood. There are large gaps in my memories of my childhood.We were poor, we lived in crappy motels for the majority of my life. My dad would work. come home and drink, and then start a fight. I was an A student but missed as much as 30.days of school a year. you can't send a kid to school with bruises. i was threatened to let family business stay in the family, to keep my mouth shut. People knew, they just never asked. I watched my mom get beaten over and over again. My father would discipline me by making me kneel on metal bottle caps, the kind that cover glass bottle beer. The smell of budweiser makes me nauseous. I would constantly strive for his acceptance and approval, yetwould always get shut down. Make straight A's all year long.."If you want to impress me jump over that fence without touching it" yes,he actually said that. the fence was chest high. I was about ten. Before my brother was born he would always ramble about how he always wanted a boy. So he tried to make me fight and box and hunt and dirtbike....none of which through the legal clubs or anything....his way. no protection and no common sense and no supervision by a mature adult. I would not fight back, so I would get beat. .....that is all for now.