"I Told Ya So."

my dad attempted suicide on and off his whole life...he died when I was fourteen. This one time I was about 10 and I was so sick of being silenced and abused. he had been tormenting us for weeks about killing himself. I had said you keep saying you will but you don't...why do you keep saying it. and I remember thinking that he was always trying to make people feel bad for him, when he was the tormentor. Sometimes I w ished he would do it, so maybe I could escape the helll that was my life. this night he had left and we went to bed. He came back a while later drunk and raging. When it escalated to us being threatened physically I Grabbed my brother, who was around three and fled to a neighbors house. I was always running to get my brother to safety to someone who could call the cops. while fleeing i remember him telling me he was going to f***ing kill me. And when we made it safely to the people across the street, where my best friend lived, I was embarrassed because I was in t-shirt and underwear and standing in.front of my best friend, who was a guy. Eventually my mom made it over there and we waited for the cops. My dad tried to bust their door Down to get in to kill us. this was a regular scene throughout my whole life. He left when he heard sirens. They found him some time later on the ground half dead. The next day I was told he took over 200 asprin to try and kill himself. We went to see him at the hospital And there he was laying with tubes coming out of him, they had pumped his.stomach. He.was awake and said to.me "I told ya so" talking.about him saying.he would kill himself. and for the next few months he would.keep telling.me it was my fault.
ItEndsHere ItEndsHere
18-21, F
1 Response Feb 1, 2013

I also was raised by an alcoholic abusive dad and no matter how people think we should feel were always gonna love them . There may be times you think it might be your fault,just remember those were your dads issues,not yours. You are not a Reflection of your childhood,you decide the person you become

thank you