I Am And Always Will Be A Child Of Christ

WELL HERE IT GOES,AND I HOPE AND PRAY THAT THIS WILL INSPIRE YOU .I GREW UP IN AN ABUSIVE HOUSEHOLD WITH MY DAD BEATING MY MOM,MENTALLY ABUSIVE TO MY BROTHERS,AND SEXUALLY ABUSIVE TO MY SELF AND SISTER. I HATED THE LORD AND WONDERED WHY HE WOULD ALLOW THIS TO HAPPEN BECAUSE WE WENT TO CHURCH EVERY SUNDAY.I FELT CHURCH AND GOD WERE LIES BECAUSE WE WENT TO CHURCH AS THE HAPPY FAMILY AND AFTER CHURCH IT WENT BACK TO BEING THE BIGGEST DISFUNCTIONAL FAMILY THERE IS.I TURNED OUT TO BE REALLY REBELIOUS AND VERY SEXUALLY ACTIVE ALONG WITH BEING SEVERILY HATEFUL.I WAS DIAGNOSED WITH BIPOLAR DISORDER WHEN I WAS ABOUT 14 AFTER ATTEMPTING TO TAKE MY LIFE 3 TIMES,WAS PUT IN MENTAL HOSPITAL TWO TIMES BUT THAT NEVER REALLY HELPED.DURING MY REBELIOUS STAGES I HAD MET A GUY ,THOUGHT HE LOVED ME AND I LOVED HIM TIL HE STARTED BEATING ME.I GOT PREGNANT AT 17 WITH HIS CHILD AND DUE TO HIS ABUSE ALMOST LOST MY BABY WHICH IS MY SON MARC NOW.I STAYED WITH THIS GUY AND ENDED UP PREGNANT AGAIN WITH MY DAUGHTER ADREONNA 2 YEARS LATER.DURING MY PREGNANCY WITH MY DAUGHTER I MARRIED HER AND MARCS FATHER.AFTER 4 YEARS OF ABUSE I HAD KICKED MY HUSBAND AT THE TIME OUT OF MY HOUSE,I COULDNT TAKE ANYMORE OF THE ABUSE. WELL REBELIOUS AND BIPOLAR GOT WORSE AND 2 YEARS LATER I  FOUND MR.RIGHT I THOUGHT AGAIN.THREE MONTHS INTO OUR RELATIONSHIP I WAS PREGNANT AGAIN.I HAD A BABY BOY NAMED ANTHONY.THIS RELATIONSHIP WAS THE SAME AS THE FIRST EXCEPT I WAS THE ABUSER.I WAS ARRESTED THREE TIMES FOR DOMESTIC ABUSE ON THIS POOR GUY.I WAS FULL OF RAGE AND HATE.THIS RELATIONSHIP LASTED 3 YEARS AND IM SURPRISED IT DID.THROUGH THE YEARS OF RELATIONSHIP AFTER RELATIONSHIP,PROBLEM AFTER PROBLEM,HEARTBREAK AFTER HEARTBREAK I NEVER UNDERSTOOD WHAT WAS MISSING IN MY LIFE.THREE MORE YEARS OF ANGER,PREMISCUITY,HATRED AND REBELLION.THEN FINALLY ONE NIGHT I WAS AT A PARTY AND COLLAPSED.DOCTORS DID TESTS AND FOUND OUT I HAD A HEART CONDITION CALLED CARDIOMYOPOTHY( A VIRUS THAT HAD GONE UNDETECTED AND WAS DESTROYING MY HEART).I WAS VERY WEAK AND WAS OUT OF BREATH,BOY WAS I LIVING LIKE I WAS DYING.AFTER FEELING SORRY FOR MY SELF A COUPLE YEARS LATER I WASNT GOING TO LET THE ILLNESS TAKE OVER MY LIFE.BACK TO REBELLION,DRINKING,SEX,SEX,SEX,BOYFRIEND AFTER BOYFRIEND,OH FINIALLY I FOUND THE ONE   I THOUGHT.THIS WAS WHEN MY DAUGHTER WAS SIX YEARS OLD.OH THIS GUY WAS A CHARMER UNTIL HE STARTED GETTING CRAZY AND VIOLENT TO HIMSELF AND ME. HE HAD HELD A KNIFE TO MY NECK AT ONE TIME.I WAS CURIOUS IF HE HAD ANY PROBLEMS IN THE PAST SO I WENT TO MY LOCAL POLICE DEPARTMENT AND ASKED THEM TO CHECK HIM OUT.OH BOY SURE ENOUGH HE HAD A WARRENT IN GEORGIA AND WAS A SEX OFFENDER THAT NEVER REGISTERED ANYWHERE.I FOUND OUT HE HAD MELOSTED MY DAUGHTER AND DESTROYED HER LIFE.I WAS SO TORE UP AND HAD TO DEAL WITH HER MELOSTATION ON TOP OF MY OWN.THIS WAS THE WORST MY LIFE COULD GET SO I ASKED FOR THE LORD TO HELP AND STARTED TO READ THE BIBLE. I NOTICED CHANGES IN MY BEHAVIOR I DIDNT WANT TO DO THINGS I WANTED TO DO.AFTER HATING MY FATHER FOR MY WHOLE LIFE ONE NIGHT I  ACTUALLY BROKE DOWN AND CRIED FOR HIM BUT STILL DIDNT HAVE CONTACT WITH HIM.FINALLY 5 YEARS AGO I MET MY HUSBAND NOW AND I AM BLESSED.AFTER MANY CHANGES THE LORD HELPED ME THROUGH I HAD ANOTHER CHALLENGE TO FACE.ITHREE YEARS AGO I WAS PREGNANT WITH MY LAST CHILD AND DUE TO THE HEART CONDITION I HAVE HAD THE DOCTOR INFORMED ME THAT I NEEDED TO ABORD MY CHILD OR IT WILL KILL ME.I COULDNT ACCEPT THAT SO I STRONGLY GOT INTO THE LORD AND ASKED HIM TO COME INTO MY LIFE AND SAVE ME AND MY CHILD.I WENT TO CHURCH,HAD OTHERS PRAY OVER ME AND MOST OF ALL HAD THE FAITH TO DO ANYTHING.I FELT AT PEACE AND KNEW EVERYTHING WAS OK.TWO MONTHS OF LISTENING TO THE DOCTORS TELL ME HOW FETAL THIS WAS GOING TO BE I HAD AN ULTRASOUND OF MY HEART AND TO THEIR SUPRISE MY HEART WAS BACK TO NORMAL WITH NO MEDICATIONS OR ANYTHING......PRAISE THE LORD.MY DAUGHTER IS 3 YEARS OLD AND I AM FINE THANKS BE TO GOD.EVERYTHING WAS FINE AND GOOD THINGS WERE HAPPENING.THE LORD PUT ME IN THE BEST POSITION WHEN I GOT A PHONE CALL FROM MY MOM AND SHE TOLD ME MY DAD WAS IN MISSOURI AND DYING.MY MOTHER BROTHER AND I WENT TO SEE HIM AND WAS A HUGE BLESSING BECAUSE 2 WEEKS LATER WE WERE ABLE TO BRING MY DAD 12 HOURS TO COME HOME AND BE WITH HIS CHULDREN AND GRANDCHILDREN BEFORE HE PASSED.I WAS A CNA AND NOT BEING PAID I WAS ABLE TO BE WITH MY DAD AT THE NURSINGHOME EVERY DAY AND TOOK CARE OF HIM TIL HE PASSES TWO YEARS AGO.THE MAN I HATED FOR SO LONG WAS MY BEST FRIEND AND GOD ALSO USED ME TO BE ABLE TO GET HIM SAVED.I CRIED AND CRIED.MY FATHER HELPED ME THROUGH FEAR OF DEAD PEOPLE.I STAYED AFTER HE PASSED AND HELPED THE HOSPICE NURSE CLEAN HIM AND SAID MY FINAL GOODBYES.I MISS HIM DEARLY.NOW MY HUSBAND AND I ARE RUNNING A YOUTH GROUP AND MINISTRY OUT OF OUR HOUSE AND WE ARE BLESSED AND BLESSING OTHERS WITH THE LORDS WORD.I NEVER THOUGHT MY LIFE WOULD BE LIKE THIS BUT WHEN YOU TURN INTO A CHILD OF THE LORD THE UNEXPECTED HAPPENS.I REALLY HOPE THIS STORY WILL HELP AND INSPIRE OTHERS BECAUSE IF THE LORD CAN TRANSFORM ME HE CAN YOU TOO.......THANK YOU FOR READING THIS AND GOD BE WITH YOU ALWAYS..........................................DAWN S.

MEERAH MEERAH
26-30
1 Response Jul 13, 2010

i am a child of god i serve jesus christ my most high priest your name meaning to me<br />
D demons are have been exposed and jesus binds them and cast them away<br />
A amazing grace<br />
W wisdom comes from god<br />
N never stop fighting for jesus christ<br />
S sing praises of his name<br />
<br />
thank you for sharing your story i will pray for you dawns. jesus loves you