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My Poem Called Please Go Away

Please go away bad things I beg of you now.
I wish to sleep but I don't know how

I don't like these memories, or these pictures that I see
I screamed and cried but no one ever came to save me

Please go away and don't bring any more pain
GO AWAY I feel like If you don't I will go insane

I don't want to feel, I don't want to remember his touch
run away memories, I don't want to see you, It hurts to much

Please go away, you've shown me what I never wanted to see
slip from my mind, vanish from my thoughts, please just let me be

I don't want want to remember his smile, sweat or his smell
Or the way he made that tiny baby promise not to tell

Please go away bad memories, It pains me to breath
Everything hurts, I need time to grieve

I don't like the dirtiness and the way I've carried this shame
I spent my whole life walking this earth thinking I was to blame

Please go away bad memories, I wish that you had never come
when you grace my presence you leave and I feel numb

I don't like to hear the voice In my head of that child begging him to stop
Or remember as he didn't listen, threw her down, and climbed on top

Please go away bad memories you make my body remember what It once forgot
I also remember dolls, jewelry, and toys he left, making him think forgiveness he'd bought

I do not wish to see any further or to remember the blood that ran down her skin
what that father did was wrong, sick, and disgusting, It was the ultimate sin

Please go away I hate everything I see in these horrible, hurtful things
I feel like a bird laying waiting to die with its broken tattered wings

I do not wish to know what was done, be a victim, or live any longer in this past
I ache, I hurt, I scream, I cry, I beg, I see, I remember how long will this last?

Please go away all sadness you've been here far far to long
My heart Is always aching and singing Its sad sad song

I don't like these bad dreams or this life living with these fears
My heart Is heavy and my body Is raw, I am blinded by my tears

Please go away bad things I beg of you now
I wish to sleep but I don't know how
silverstar415850 silverstar415850 18-21, F 5 Responses Feb 28, 2012

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I am so sorry you had to endure this pain and still suffer. I myself am what they call a "Child ,abuse" Survivor. I really do not understand how we can be survivors. I am 41 years old and because I did not receive the proper professional attention, I still suffer terribly with nightmares, social phobia, depression...I can go on and on. Word of advice for you, if you still young enough, press charges if you have not already and get the help that you need from a professional asap. The issues that man has caused you will hurt and haunt you for a long time to come if you do not seek help. God Bless and good luck with everything you accomplish in life:)

I hope you are getting professional help now? Also, look into a medication called prasozin. It's an old blood-pressure medication that has the interesting side effect of reducing or eliminating PTSD-type repetitive nightmares.

i see a therapist yes but no i don't take medicine, i would rather live with our drugging myself if i don't have to

I get acutely suicidal off meds, but you know yourself best.

@Livingtolive Yea i pressed charges but not until this past October so nothing came it and my case was dropped.

well im not suicidal and when i was i never took meds. If anything i would just take meds for my anxiety but im still trying to avoid that

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In these situations, the child is never to blame. the child has no sexual desires toward anybody.
The Adult is being extremely selfish. forcing a child to give him sexual gratification he should be getting from a consenting adult. If his life is not arranged for him to his sanctification, he should get a divorce, and move on. He should never steal a child's childhood. Know that nothing that happened was your fault, the guilt is entirely on the adults. The adult in this situation is extremely stupid, because if he loved and protected you, he could have earned your love and trust to last a lifetime. he threw that away for a few moments of sexual pleasure.
Since he is unrepentant, he is unforgiven. he stands in danger of judgment.
God will judge him, and find him covered in unspeakable sin, he will be shoveling coal for the devil forever. in the lowest pit.

This says it all... These sick men should read how they hurt us

they should, but sadly unless they feel what we feel, they still wouldnt get the impact it has on us

VERY TRUE

very nice work - straight from your heart to mine<br />
____________(((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))____________

(((((((((((hugs))))))))))

beautifully expressed.

thank you