Confusion

It takes the smallest things to trigger me more than ever before. Why do people want to tell you what you are doing is wrong , when in fact know what is right for you, THEY WERE NOT THERE WHEN YOU NEEDED THEM!

It makes me real mad when others have an idea, what they think of you. And want to put you in a box, but are able to see the greatness in others, yet. Hang on a minute, I did this without any family support, but my friends helped me.

When you keep quiet, you look shifty, when you speak out, you have an issue.
What happens in between? There is no right or wrong.

I can take responsibility to what I say. But why is it that it gives others the right to tell me what they think of me. But I can't really tell them what I think of them! It is called RESPECT. Do they know what that really means? Don't care if you have a PHD or is it Masters in Sociology or whatever it is! I don't really care.

My mother did not tell you the truth and those around you. You are clouded by emotions.

Words you can never retract, Print you can destroy, email, messages left on your mobile or answer phones. Make sure you do blind-copies to those you finally trust.

Family especially can hurt you the most. Either it can be physical or emotional it is still bad.

We are suppose to learn from our mistakes, whilst many families stay in denial and protect the culprit. They will lie to themselves, but to others remain calm and thoughtful of other, but don't we know their dark side?

How do they get away with it? I allowed them too, to protect them, but look how they twist and turned it to make me be the problem still. Years down the line.. It happened over 25 years ago so why be so cruel MOTHER.. are you so jealous of me for doing it without you.

How can their hearts been pricked and claim to be a christian. (this is not judging), but her character is not so pure. SHE IS WICKED! Family seem to think she is a saint, she aint, just like that perverted man she married and still believes he was the best thing that happened to her. It should be her relationship with God now! But she is so bitter, she is trying to destroy my happiness, because I am happy with who I am, just sad that she still continues to lie and family and immediate, just watch on like it is ok!

How would they cope, if the tables were turned and they experienced the betrayal, dishonesty and the pain she caused on me and now my children to make me look bad! I am a good mother!

Family don't know the facts, only hearsay! By trial and error. The Victim (thats me) survived and coped to find a balance that suits me.

What they need to do is don't judge me, they need to judge themselves and look at their own dysfunctional minds. If you haven't lived my life, what is your real problem? God knows me and that is good enough, but that would not give me the excuse to abuse and be wicked to others.

Who is my mother fooling? And what is she trying to prove? What would I get from lying so many years on? I still get flashbacks now! But what flashbacks to they get!

Beating me for her own insecurities, spending more time working than being with me to keep up with the Jones's., Being so unkind to her mother, my grandmother, yet now wishes she was still alive and how such a great mother she was! But hang on a minute, my mother and her so LOVELY perverted husband wish she lived with other members of the family!

But the only thing!! They didn't want to accommodate her! Watch my mother now as the queen bee caring and loving for others and being the aunt and best friend anyone could wish for. Know who you keep as your friend and watch how they treat their own children!
DelVene DelVene
41-45
1 Response Sep 24, 2012

I feel u. My mother presents herself as a Saint too. Oh so great and good. Fugger that! The woman sat idly while I was sexually abused and eventually raped at the ripe age of nine by her husband. And then she beat me more for her jealousy over my fathers lust for me. She called ME the ***** when I was ten and confronted her about it. Slapped and beat me. Eventually she left my father for another man. I only met him a couple times, when he left her he told me that she had warned him that I would SEDUCE him. Oh I hate her for that. Our relationship is almost nil. Haven't seen her in years. She plays mommy to my half sister from her rapey ex husband. He raped my much older half sister too..the one who NEVER stepped up or spoke out to protect me. Who knows how her dear ex stepmother abused me too but doesn't care as long as she gets a " atta' girl!" From mummy dearest. Neither of em give a **** bout me. Never did. But oh boy what a show my mother puts on about what a Great person she is..