Christian Battling Depression

I have been battling depression since I was 11 years old. My first suicide attempt was at that age when I was phsycially abused by my mom. The manic episodes and highs and lows of depression didn't occur until after my second attempt at suicide as a young adult. All the horrible ways I was brought up at home finally started to affect me as an adult.

What I do now is pray and do some spiritual warfare and it's been working. It takes energy to get myself to have energy to pray and read the bible. It takes me months or weeks to get myself up to pray or read the bible. Praying to God does work, but its an effort I have to make. I have to overcome my depression to get myself up and going to pray but it's mentally exhausting. All I want to do is sleep and never wake up.

I don't know how God can help. It feels like I have to push myself to get a helping of God's light and love in order for me to get well. The depression sets on after a day or two later of going to church or praying. The whole cycle of depression starts again and I have to push myself to pray again... well, you get the point.

It is extremely difficult. I have no job, no money, no car, and feel hopeless.

rosesencha rosesencha
3 Responses Jul 19, 2007

Many 'christians' will tell you that if you believe enough you will be cured. Unfortunately, it seems they don't know their bibles very well. The Bible actually says, "He afflicts those He loves." Remember Job? <br />
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Well ... I wanted to stop by and give you a *hug* and let you know you are most certainly not alone in this. We all battle demons of some sort or another.<br />
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Take care of you.

Rosesecha, you are a warrior, sometimes the battle seems to go on forever, but you are wise too. Learn, to rest at His feet, take His counsel, revive yourself, refresh yourself, renew yourself in Him. Put on your armour evey day. The helmet of Salvation (protecting your mind), etc. Ephesians 6:11-18. I do not fight your fight wit depression, but can only imagine your personal battle. You are on the front lines on that one. A position surely were you are to be wounded and scarred, but better to be fighting in the front line, then being in a position of no faith or hope. My prayers are with you. The battle is the Lord's and He will be with you in your trials. Be Blessed, for VICTORY will be sweet. Claim it!

Hi Wistfullyhis. Thanks for the encouragement and for the inspiring words. =) You have been a balm to my soul. =)