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I Am So Tired Of Dissapointments, Can Anyone Really Understand Me?

I came to know the Lord when I was 17 years old. It was amazing , I believed I could conquer the world, that nothing was imppossible for me. I got married at 19 , and since that point everything has gone down. Down so low I am scared that I will ever be able to get back up. I had forgiven people in the past for the abuse and neglect I had experienced as a child, But I somehow managed to marry someone who has brought all those things back into my life. My encounters with other christians in my times of need were not helpful by much , and sometimes just added more harm to the situation. I am a mother who is struggling with trying to raise my children, without any help. This is a challenge for me for my parent's did not raise me. My marriage has led to verbal abuse, physical abuse, abandonement, financial catastrophy, and more. I have made bad choices due to my circumstances.I have sought the attention of other men looking to have the pain filled , only to regret that I have sinned against God. This has happened more than once. I have no real friends , No family............ People try to give me advise to do the right thing , when almost everyone and everything around me is wrong. I struggle so badly with my faith. I know life isn't suppossed to be perfect , But how long does it have to be bad? A lot of people give ear service, but no actuall real help. I am so lost, scared. Somtimes I feel there Is no hope for me. All I want to do is give my kids a good childhood, but all the odd's are against me. I don't believe God will hear my prayer's because of the sins I've commiited since I've come into the knowledge of him and his word. Is there any help for me........ I am mentally breaking down.......I just want things to get better for me someday. I am 28 Now and I cannot see a future for myself..........Can anyone feell my pain? Is there any help for me?
Fearfulheart Fearfulheart 26-30, F 6 Responses Aug 16, 2010

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I feel very similar to you. Dissappointments / failure etc. I looked on wikepedia to try and find an explantion of failure and why that happens, and it stated that failure comes by goals not being achieved. And setting too high a goal that cannot be achieved. It also looks at all of the scientific research assosiated to this: causes preventative methods etc. And is interesting if nothing else. I understood it. I applied it. I can see it. But the problem I found is that it does not connect with my heart. I can see the sense but there is a gap between setting the goal, achieving the goal, and having the heart connected. However it is a good topic to research: success, failure, motivation, on wikipedia because it will enhance your knowledge, and with that you can bring it in to a christian setting. I hope this helps. But I am also in the same boat and lost and trying to earn money and live with my heart which I think what God wants. But am also in the same boat. Try doing that research on your quest.

you are so young. only 28. life is not over yet. have you thought about going bac to college. finicail aid will pay for everything and youlll have plenty of money left over to pay ur bills up witout workin. go to a local communtiy college. apply for fasfa. vistit fasfa.com to get more info. u have to be the example 4 ur kids. if ur depressed ur kids will be too. god loves. but u have to make moves in ur life as well. god cant walk for u. sit dwn and figure out the direction u want to go in ur life. if u need any more info about school email me anytime. i go to a communtiy college..i dont work...and my bills still get paid. god loves u and i and he's waaiting for u to be devoted to him. u cant live for christ and the deveil. u have to choose. aboraystarr@yahoo.com

I cannot quote scripture and verse to you I do not have that type of relationship with God. I do not speak to God through a church or any particular religion. I speak to God through my heart and he answers me. I speak to God in my barn, in a field. I have knelt in a horses paddock and prayed to God and he always listens. I believe as the Native Americans believe. God is in everything and everyone, he is all around us all the time. Kneel in your living room go to your backyard and speak with God. No special requirements but honesty. You judge yourself too harshly none of us should ever pass judgment on another or ourselves. God loves you and he understands all our faults and forgives us in spite of our indiscretions. I for one am very grateful for that according to a lot of religions I would never make it into God's kingdom but he has assured me I will. Don't turn to anything but the Cross, that is everything. Know Jesus died on that cross for YOU so you could be forgiven and redeemed and know eternal life in God's kingdom. No conditions<br />
God Bless You and hold you and yours

Thank you so much, It is so refreshing to hear words of love and concern. I guess my biggest fear is the understanding that God will still hear my prayers even though I have sinned against him. It bewilders me that I have managed to commit the same sin more than Once. It makes me think that Im am not sincere in repenting. I have never faced a time where I have been so weak and given over to the flesh so much. I love the Lord so much and can't believe that I have failed him in the ways that I have. I Love my husband and children , and want noyhing but their happiness. More important I want us all to be in heaven together. I don't want my failures to Jeaopordize that. Please pray for us. We do not have a church home currently. We want to worship in the atmosphere that is true to God. Not hypicritical, dry , false, deceptive. We have experienced that before. Please stay in contact. I need to hear from people with true light's.

When you say the Lord's Prayer, you pray 'Thy Will be done'. Take your worries and cares to God, being completely subject to His Will, as He wants only what is best for you, spiritually and also here on earth. He has promised that when two or more ask for something in His Name, it will be given to you. So long as it is for our betterment spiritually,and it is God's Will, then it will happen.<br />
Confess your sins. Christ died on the Cross to pay the price of our sin, and through his holy blood that sin is washed away. He wants our salvation, NOT our condemnation. Never, ever give up Hope, for God loves you so much He gave His only begotten Son to save your soul.<br />
God sends us trials and sufferings because they lead to our sanctification when we offer them to Him. Offer all your thoughts, words, actions and sufferings to Him at the beginning of the day, and perform your duty in life as wife and mother for Love of Christ. Pray for your husband, but if he physically abuses you, you should remove yourself and your children from him.<br />
Try to think positively of the future, not of the past or even present. Always talk to God, he always listens, especially to those who repent of their sins and WANT to return to serving Him.<br />
God Bless you.

My dear sister and friend through our Lord Jesus Christ,<br />
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I can not only hear you well, but feel you’re pains, sufferings and confusion in life with one great additive called understanding. You, just as most all people have become a victim of life’s difficulties while also being encountered with a truth that the last to see, know or even understand are all who call themselves Christians. <br />
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I speak not words of judgment because if I were to do so God would judge me in the same way; so I speak as a man of God that has been chosen through the words in John 15:19 that has put me through the past 44 months of contacts with brethren, pastors, ministers, priests, churches and religious websites only to be a living witness and a workman for God that they all are religious hypocrites without roots as written in Job 8:13-15; and they know not what they do because they just as the world have been deceived by the god of this world who is the father of lies and a counterfeit Christ with a counterfeit spirit of error that all feel secure with while being within a false light that’s actually darkness within these times of the end with world chaos rapidly approaching beginning with the fall of America and the new world order led by the darkest of darkness. <br />
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For what you have had to go through in your life as a child and through the teen years that led into a young marriage with hurts and instability, please never feel alone because this whole world of man ruling man has been nothing but a complete failure for the past 6000 years that is coming to its final end. <br />
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There is but only one solution for the heartaches that you are suffering; and that solution requires you to go directly to God and only God in faith with trust in all of His words of truth because He is not the author of confusion as written in 1 Corinthians 14:33 <br />
Therefore the only shame with confusion in this world comes from man as written in Jeremiah 3:25.<br />
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My whole life has been a very difficult one with these past near 4 years being the hardest for survival-----But because my life has been totally devoted to only God through faith and His words of truth, these hardest years have been the greatest years of my life. <br />
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So in faith, “Cast all of your cares upon Him; for He careth for you. 1 Peter 5:7 <br />
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When I have been many times in my most difficult times, I have just asked God to give me the inner peace that I need to deal with my situation because that is all that I really wanted. <br />
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When things get so hard that you just have no idea of what to do or even what the future holds, look to God with all of you’re heart and read about what Paul had to go through in 2 Corinthians 11:23-27 while asking yourself just where your own heart and mind would be if you were being beat near death or stoned? Read the first chapter of Job while seeing what he had to go through and still kept his faith. Read Daniel 3:16-18 with great notice of just how strong the faith of Shadrach, Meshach and Abed-nego was because what they went through was a lesson for all believers today. <br />
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All that you need to do is to see the realities of these times of the end that will become as a living nightmare for this unprepared world of religious deception that shepherds have not fed the truths of God. <br />
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Worried about your life, finances and the welfare of your children? You should be because there is but only one way of escape from the coming great storms of great tribulation followed by the wrath of God-----and the escape is not so much physical as it is spiritual. <br />
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Please read Psalms 91, 41:2, 33:18-19, 34:7-8, 9:9, 12:5, 57:1-3, 61:3, 4:8, 17:7-9, just to get an idea of why you need to seek God as silver and search for Him as hid treasures as written in Proverbs 2:4-----Because only then will you find the knowledge of God and never through man with his doctrines and false teachings that make the word of God as nothing in your life. <br />
Please read Lamentations 2:17, 21, and chapter three verses eight and forty four to get an idea of what it shall be like for millions when God hears not their cries just as His words in Proverbs 1:22-33 are an excellent and much needed education for all whom have been blinded. <br />
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My words of truth to you are not to scare you, but to help you in refocusing your life for the benefit of you and you’re children. <br />
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Please become of the few and not the many. <br />
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Many and Few<br />
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1 Corinthians 2:14, Hebrews 5:13 and Matthew 7:13 are many.<br />
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1 Corinthians 2:13, Hebrews 5:14 and Matthew 7:14 are few.<br />
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I am you’re friend who wants to help as many that want to help themselves to the truths of God within these times of the end. <br />
<br />
Jeff